Inside This Issue Executive Director Ballots Affirmation Leadership Meeting 2003 Annual Affirmation Conference Utah Group Continues to Harass Lesbian Teacher Community, Common Consent, and the Issue of Homosexuality Conflicts of Faith Denver Court Rules Against LDS Church A Pinch of Ginger

Executive Director Ballots

All current members of Affirmation Gay & Lesbian Mormons should have received a hand numbered ballot in the mail, with a return address envelope. If you did not received a ballot, please contact Alan Blodgett immediately:

Alan will verify your membership and notify me to mail a ballot to you. Membership Dues are only $20 per year for individuals, and $25 a year for couples.

To join, please visit our Membership Page and mail the dues check to:

Affirmation
P.O. Box 46022
Los Angeles, CA 90046

All ballots must be postmarked by November 15, 2002. You will need to affix a thirty seven cent stamp for return postage.

The votes will be counted up by the Correspondence Secretary and an assistant.

The results will be published in December’s AFFINITY.

Affirmation Leadership Planning Meeting Los Angeles, CA, November 9-10, 2002 All those who would like to assist in planning Affirmation’s 2003 Calendar, please come to these meetings in Los Angeles, CA. Contact Darren Holman for details at: Saturday morning (9:00 a.m.) - Leadership meeting at the home of Darren Holman. Saturday afternoon (3:00 p.m.) - Open meeting at Paul Mortensen/Robert Jacob’s house. Saturday evening (after open meeting) - Social at Paul Mortensen/Robert Jacob’s house. Sunday morning (9:00 a.m.) - Leadership meeting at the home of Darren Holman.

2003 Annual Affirmation Conference

For GLBTI people from Mormon backgrounds, coming out of the closet means charting new courses: making new choices, confronting new challenges, charting new spiritual paths. As an organization, Affirmation too is charting new courses as it forges new alliances, launches new initiatives, and adapts to new realities.

Join us in Salt Lake City, over Columbus Day Weekend, October 10 -12, 2003 at Historic Fort Douglas, the Olympic Village. Make new friends. Reunite with old ones. Tour historical sites. Enjoy the Utah landscape. Experience gay nightlife in the heart of Mormondom. And learn about the new courses GLBTI Mormons are charting for themselves.

Wendy Chandler (Weaver), right, with partner Rachel Smith

Utah Group Continues to Harass Lesbian Teacher

By Hugo Salinas
October 2002

The group which has been unsuccessfully trying to oust Spanish Fork teacher Wendy Chandler (Weaver) since 1997 had another day in court. Matthew Hilton, an attorney for Citizens of the Nebo School District for Moral and Legal Values, pleaded his case before the Utah Supreme Court on October 3.

Among other claims, Hilton argues that Chandler has made “inappropriate” comments about the LDS Church in the classroom and that her sexual orientation is disruptive to school activities. He also argues that a student’s right were violated because Chandler has access to the women’s locker room. Seven of Hilton’s original claims against Chandler have already been thrown out by a lower court.

Chandler, who has already gone through the ordeal of being excommunicated from the LDS Church and being accused by her own student of being “unfit” to teach because she is a lesbian, lives in Spanish Fork where she and her partner are raising a family of seven children.

Chandler’s partner Rachel Smith says that the lawsuit is “motivated by a small segment of individuals who would like to dictate how the rest of us live our lives.” ACLU Utah attorney Stephen Clark says that Chandler is being sued because she “had the courage to speak out.”

In 2000, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons awarded a paper which discusses the text of the original lawsuit against Chandler. Utah Valley State College instructor Karin Anderson wrote in 2000 that the text of the lawsuit is “an artifact of contemporary Mormon culture, an example of one culture’s fears of its own projected likeness.”

Community, Common Consent, and the Issue of Homosexuality

By The Community of Christ Church, formerly the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

The World Church Leadership Council met in a retreat setting September 15-19, 2002. During that time extensive attention was given to implementation of the sharing goal, interquorum functions and relationships, review of budget projections, and a variety of other significant issues. The Council also participated in a discussion of the church’s processing of the homosexuality dialogue since the 2002 World Conference. From those reflections the Council developed the following statement as further guidance to the church on this sensitive and important matter.

The church has been called to a loving and respectful dialogue on the difficult and often divisive issue of homosexuality. We have traveled to scores of camps and reunions this summer and are aware that many people are troubled by the questions and conflicted over how to handle them. We are saddened by the pain and confusion that some are feeling. As church leaders we are determined to both grapple prophetically with issues before us and yet process them in a way that honors our community and the principles of common consent that govern us. Such challenges have confronted the church in every generation.

If the church is to be faithful to the demands of the gospel it will often be called beyond the boundaries of certainty to explore its implications in a complex world. We are deeply committed to seeking God’s direction and embodying the life and ministry of Jesus in our own personal ministry and in the lived-out witness of the church. Even while doing so, God’s people are also called to live together in love and to embrace the rich diversity of our global family. A creative and challenging tension will always exist between the desire for unity within the body and the need to press the limits of our understanding. We embrace both those principles in exploring the issue of homosexuality within our community.

In terms of policy we are aware that some are concerned that a few exceptions have been made to the 1982 Standing High Council statement guidelines that have governed us in the matter of homosexuality and ordination. That discomfort is shared by all of us in leadership, even in our awareness of the exceptions and the human and pastoral issues surrounding them.

Community of Christ President W. Grant McMurray

As indicated by President W. Grant McMurray in his 2002 World Conference sermon we are asked to seek issues on which we can agree and shape dialogue in areas where we do not agree. As we continue this exploration we want the church to know that we will follow the provisions of the 1982 guidelines regarding calling and ordination. This will not affect those ordinations that have been previously provided for, even if they were exceptions to the guidelines. We will not make further exceptions to the guidelines on calling and ordination unless they are adjusted through the common consent of the people.

In terms of further processing and dialogue, we understand very well that various areas of the church need to approach the matter differently. In some nations it is not possible to even discuss it because of cultural and legal issues. In other places, regardless of how individuals may feel, the question is very much a part of the culture in which the church is ministering and we have no choice but to talk together about it. Each field apostle, in consultation with local leaders, will be responsible for determining whether that field will participate in the dialogue and what methods will be used. The World Church staff specializing in conflict resolution is designing a dialogue process that can be adapted to each area as appropriate. This process honors all viewpoints and provides abundant time and opportunity for each perspective to be heard and understood.

In our deliberations within the World Church Leadership Council we focused primarily on how we can effectively implement the two components of the sharing goal: “Each one, reach one” and “Honor God’s call to tithe.” This is fundamental to the fulfillment of our church’s mission. There will always be issues upon which substantial disagreement will exist among faithful members of our community. Our task as a community of God’s people is to invite all to share in the fellowship, respect one another in our diversity, listen and learn from each other in love, and look beyond the things that may divide us to embrace our essential unity in Jesus Christ. The church has been counseled that “the path will not always be easy, the choices will not always be clear,” but we have also been promised that “the cause is sure and the Spirit will bear witness to the truth, and those who live the truth will know the hope and the joy of discipleship in the community of Christ” (Doctrine and Covenants 161:7).

As church leaders we live willingly in the tension between certainty and the demands of faith. We proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ and pledge anew to work tirelessly to build the communities of joy, hope, love, and peace that are at the heart of our mission. To do so requires openness and transparency, unconditional love and respect for one another, and a willingness to rely on the leadings and assurance of the Holy Spirit in all things. We commit our personal ministry and our collective leadership to that end.

Conflicts of Faith: We Need to Understand Our Mormon Neighbors

By Jere Keys, Editor
Las Vegas Bugle
August 30-September 13, 2002
Printed by permission of Stonewall Publishing, Inc.

I come from a long line of good Mormon families (at least on a few branches of the old family tree). As the oldest of nine children. I was always taught to be the “example” to my younger brothers and sisters. And for a long time, I was. I like to think I still am.

My views on deity and religion have changed drastically from the days when I was an Eagle Scout, serving in leadership positions with my peers (I was even Vice President of my seminary), and was generally considered to be a “nice young future missionary.” I no longer consider myself to be a Mormon, although I’ve never been excommunicated (and I certainly could be based on my supposed “sins”).

I know many gay people in Las Vegas who, like me, grew up in the Mormon religion, but abandoned the church (or were excommunicated) because of conflict between church doctrine and the yearnings of their hears. Often, when I meet these people, they have a great sense of bitterness towards the LDS Church.

Just as often, I meet ay people who were never directly involved with Mormonism, but have a vast mistrust and even hatred of its members. They complain how the Mormons run Las Vegas, how the Mormons are behind Question 2, how the Mormons are all anti-gay hate mongers.

Bit I feel no great bitterness or hatred for Mormonism. I can’t blame the members of the Church for the teachings of their leaders. I can’t hate someone because of their faith. I can’t let my feeling of grief, disappointment or anger stereotype an entire group of people.

Mormons have a tradition that on the first Sunday of each month, the faithful and asked to take the podium during a general meeting of the church and “bear testimony” of their beliefs and experiences. I participated in many of these meetings from the time I was a toddler until I was 17 years old. I’d like to bear my testimony now to things I know and believe about their world (what can I say, old habits die hard).

I know that Mormons are basically good people. I know this because my family, many of my friends, neighbors and acquaintances are basically good people. As often as I may disagree with them about certain subjects, it remains true that few (if any) of them ever hurt me, verbally berated me, or forced me to do something entirely against my will.

I also know that Mormons are not perfect, although many strive to be. Being only human, I’ve seen even the most devout and pious of Mormons say or do hurtful things while struggling to understand the doctrines of their faith.

I know that Mormons are not, by mere association of their beliefs, bigoted, prejudicial, and spreaders of hate. I also know that many take heed of their own teaching “And ye ought to say in your hearts--let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.” (Doctrine & Covenants 64:11).

Even as I say these things, I know that at the hands of Mormons, many gay and lesbian people have felt pain and suffering. I know that the teachings of the Church have led many gay and lesbian people down a path of guilt, inner torment, shame and depression. I know that some Mormons, failing to understand the complexity of these personal anguishes, and the counsels of their own teachings, have made the problems worse through un-Christina behaviors (I.e. violence, abuse, etc.)

But I know above all, that most Mormons strive to be kind, understanding, faithful, and charitable to others. If some Mormons believe that others who do not share their beliefs are somehow “less,” they do so out of a pride in faith that fills their hearts and, perhaps, blinds them to their faults.

I know these things to be true through experience.

And I say these things as a record to all gay people who might judge Mormons and their faith as harshly as we have felt judged. I say these things for the people who have hurt or disappointed me. And I say these things for my family, particularly my younger brothers and sisters, whom I more than anything else in life, that they may know that I understand them and their faith. I say these things so that my family may know that despite differences in belief, lifestyle, or opinion, we can always approach one another with love, understanding and kindness.

You see, I said that I still tried to be a “good example” to my siblings.

Gay couples can now kiss on LDS Plaza

Denver Court Rules Againts LDS Church
Gay Couples Can Kiss on LDS Plaza

By Hugo Salinas
October 10, 2002

A federal court in Denver ruled yesterday against the LDS Church, granting all citizens free speech rights on the Main Street Plaza in Salt Lake City. The LDS Church has been involved in a controversy since it struck a secret deal with then Mayor Deedee Corradini to buy a section of Main Street from the city and build a plaza. Although the city council reserved the easement, it had given the LDS Church power to restrict speech, behavior, and manner of dress in the area. The new ruling reverses such restrictions.

In October 2000, when the plaza was first open, gay couples held hands and kissed on the plaza to protest the restrictions, but LDS security guards have since harassed and stopped people attempting to exercise free speech rights.

Although LDS officials have already announced that they will appeal the ruling, Utah ACLU attorney Stephen Clark would like to see the Church accept the court’s decision. "I would hope the Mormon church would have enough confidence in their ideas to accept this decision and create, in addition to ‘a little bit of Paris,’ a little bit of Hyde Park in downtown Salt Lake City so all viewpoints are heard."

Ginger Grant

A Pinch of Ginger

By Ginger Grant
Las Vegas Bugle
August 30-September 13, 2002
Printed by permission of Stonewall Publishing, Inc.

When I was asked to write about my experience with the LDS Church I thought that I was in a precarious place. Being a performer, I am often questioning how much of my real life to expose to others so as not to compromise the character “Ginger Grant” that I have worked so diligently to create. If someone really knows me, they will most assuredly know that if something is important enough, I will step outside my comfort and safety zones and do the right thing. In this case, I feel that I must break out of the shell that I have created and tell my story, as I feel that many recovering Mormons may relate to my particular experience.

Growing up a Mormon seemed wonderful. When I was young, there were always activities to attend when free time was high, weekends were approaching, and holidays were near. My church was my family. I saw them on a daily basis while at home, at the store, in school, and in the neighborhood. Virtually anywhere that I would happen to be, the members of my church would be as well. The safe environment extended to every aspect of my life. Whenever there was any trouble at school or while playing, one of the kids from my church was there to back me up. When I was experiencing problems, I could call upon any one of the adults to help me talk my way through them.

All of the love and support that I felt from the wonderful LDS lifestyle is one of the reasons that I have leadership abilities. I was constantly called upon to not only do the right thing, but to speak up and take charge when things were not moving toward the correct direction, or staying on the right path.

I believed that I was on the right path. I was a good student, a responsible community member, and a respectful individual. I was accomplished in my studies, in athletics, and in the arts. I attended seminary classes before school at my church daily and participated in all the church activities that I possibly could.

My feelings of safety, stability, support, and love were based on real experiences that lived through good times and catastrophes. I felt as though I could do nothing to compromise that situation.

The week after my twelfth birthday I was sexually molested by a close family member. Incredibly embarrassed, I wet to a female church member who got me in contact with a counselor to help me cope with the traumatic experience. This counselor not only helped me to cope with years of abuse, and the recent molestation, but also helped me to uncover the reality of my homosexuality. Further, she seemed to instill a sense of pride in the fact that I was a gay person, despite that fact that I didn’t know any other gay people, had never had consensual sexual contact with another man, and most important, that homosexuality was extremely taboo in society in general. I was finally able to smile again after enduring shame and pain.

All of the pride and positive emotions that I had gained from the abuse were not long lived. Being twelve and naive, I chose to confide in the same woman in my church that I way gay. The same person who helped me find refuge from the overwhelming feelings earlier, betrayed my trust and spread the word that I was gay. Within two months, the entire congregation kicked me to the curb. I was seen as a “threat to the moral integrity” of the entire youth of our church.

I never imagined that people who loved me so much could be so heartless. This was the second time in just a few months that I had be rejected, no violated, by the very people that I though of as family. What is one supposed to do when they feel no worth and foresee no future? The solution; suicide. No one told me that before I tried to take my own life, I should do some research on exactly how to administer my death because I failed miserably. As a result, I spent six long month in long term psychiatric treatment. I made some new friends, took some great prescription drugs, and gained the understanding that the aspect missing from my life was not family or God. It was a sense of independence. I had been depending on my church to make me a whole person. I learned by thirteen years of age to find acceptance from within. I learned that the rejection actually had very little to do with me. It was about others fear of losing control, and I was not about to give my control to anyone again.

I still had this hole in my heart that needed filling. Relationships hadn’t filled it. My parents tired but didn’t fill it. Performing didn’t fill it. Was I bitter? Yes. Would I stay that way? No.

In 1993 I was officially attending classes as an adult in college. I went on tours with the UNLV University Chorus and had my sights set on being a success in life. I still had this giant hole in my heart though. One of my new college friend invited me to some fraternity parties where I met tons of new exciting people. I decided to become a pledge and get the whole college experience by being a frat boy. It wasn’t that I needed friends, it was that I wanted fun. I was initiated in the spring of 1994 as a Brother of Delta Lambda Phi National Social Fraternity.

At the time, I was overweight and quiet in crowds, a bit frumpy and unsure of myself. My new Fraternity Brothers helped me to dress better, speak better, life a more fulfilling life, and respect myself. I am not pitching a commercial for Delta Lambda Phi National Social Fraternity here, even though it is the nation’s premier gay fraternity with over forty chapters nationwide.

What I am saying is that it took ten years for me to learn the same lessons that I was supposed to learn as a Mormon through the church. It took my fraternity to teach me, in a positive way, that love is never a reason to hate. I learned that my family will produce disappointments time after time. That is life. It is my responsibility to accept people for their good and not-so-good attributes, to accept them for their successes and failures. Families are not only those to whom God delivered you, they are those with whom you choose to share your life. Most important, when you surround yourself with love, all things flourish in love.

I knew all of those lessons from my childhood while growing up in the LDS Church. The difference is that it needed to be taught to me by those who believe it, teach it, and live by it.

[The Ginger Grant show is a comedy dinner show with drag performers, male dancers, and drink specials, Wednesdays at Sasha’s, 11 p.m. Also at Sasha’s, you can see her in Diva Las Vegas, Saturdays at 9, 11, and 1 a.m. ]