E-Affinity February, 2003

Valentine Issue!

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Inside This Issue Editorial: To Celebrate February, You Don't Need a Valentine Upcoming Events Blame It on Cupid: Affirmation Couples Tell Us How They Met Still Waiting for my Stripling Warrior Join Us in Portland as We Explore New Horizons Planning Committee Advances Ideas for Annual Conference

Darren Holman

Editorial:
To Celebrate February, You Don't Need a Valentine

by Darren Holman, Executive Assistant

Ah, February. The month dedicated to the romantic in us. The month when our hearts turn to thoughts of love. No? Ok, ok, maybe we're just thinking lovely thoughts.

I don't know about you, but Valentine's Day has always been one of those holidays that I love to hate. You know-like New Year's Eve with all baggage of making resolutions and the pressure to have a really terrific evening that usually ends up being just another boring midnight.

When we're in a relationship, Valentine's Day means buying something to show how romantic we are. We do this in spite of still trying to pay Christmas bills. And we give chocolate just at a time when our favorite New Year's resolution (yes, the one that includes the bathroom scale) is starting to falter.

Then when we're not in a relationship, it's a big slap in the face reminding us how lonely we are. Sigh. There's just no winning.

So what's a good gay guy/gal to do in the face of so much negative energy? Well, today while the sun shines, put your shoulder to the wheel and scatter sunshine. Should you feel inclined to censure, do what is right and let us oft speak kind words. Come along come along, choose the right, and count your blessings. Nay, speak no ill.

So now that we're playing Polly Anna, what else is there to focus on? Well, for your monthly celebrations, February is probably best known as Black History Month. It's also Bird Feeding Month, Canned Foods Month, Potato Lover's Month, Pet Oral Health Care Month, and Umbrella Month.

Weekly observances in February include Women's Heart Week, Flirting Week, Engineers Week, Pancake Week, and National Condom Week. For shorter-term holidays, one can look forward to Thank the Mailman Day (2/4), Carrot Festival Day (2/7), Clean Out Your Computer Day (2/14), Bald Pride Day (2/15), Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day (2/23), and Public Sleeping Day (2/28). Who knew!?!?

So what's my point? Just that there are always things to celebrate in life. Say you don't like Valentine's Day for whatever reason. So, celebrate Clean Out Your Computer Day instead. Say you don't like something about yourself or your situation in life right now. So change your focus and find something that you do like. There's always that proverbial silver lining there somewhere. Focus on those positive things and your outlook will change and you'll see that things aren't so bad after all.

Happy February!!!

PS--Personally, I'm celebrating Zsa Zsa's 86th birthday on 2/6 by renting Queen of Outer Space--a must see!

Upcoming Events, 2003 February 28 - March 2 Cornerstone (regional get-together) in Portland, Oregon June 8-9 Cornerstone (regional get-together) in Washington DC June Pride events held across the world October 10-12 2003 Affirmation Annual Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah

Blame It on Cupid:
Affirmation Couples Tell Us How They Met

	Kraig & Chris We've been together for: 7 Years Our relationship revolves around Affirmation and Jell-O! We first noticed each other at a LV Chapter party at Tom R.'s. I worked for the State of Nevada and was in Vegas on business. I flew back to Reno and I never thought more of it. Moving back to Vegas a year later, I was asked to call a list of people to attend a local leadership meeting. Jokingly, I asked Chris to bring his favorite Jell-O salad to the gathering. Being faithful, he was the only one that brought anything and there was enough to feed a ward dinner! I felt rather stupid as I thought he caught my malicious joke. Not throwing it out, I took it to the office and the staff loved it! I told him this would give him an excuse to come and get the bowl! This was 1995 and we have been together ever since. We graduate in May with a Master in Social Work and are establishing a counseling practice in Southern Utah and Southern Nevada. Daring to get involved pays off! --Kraig
	Stella & Ina We've been together for: 22 Years During the June 1980 pride events in San Francisco, I was sat at the Affirmation table, providing information, giving out brochures, etc. When we were getting almost ready to close shop, some male friends of mine came by. I had met them at the laundromat--We used to do the laundry at the same place. But this time they were there with Stella, a female friend of theirs. Stella and I said hi, we started to talk, and shortly after that we began to date. Three months later she moved into my home, and we've been together ever since.--Ina
	Paul & Robert We've been together for: 25 Years As many of you know I founded the Los Angeles Chapter of Affirmation. My main motivation for doing it in 1978 was to hopefully meet a nice Mormon boy to settle down with. One week before our first scheduled LA meeting I was at a dance club in Los Angeles. It was a night of a very terrible storm in LA and both of us went out that night against our better judgment. But once inside the club, I was quickly asked to dance by Robert. It was truly love at first sight on both our parts. By the next day we told each other that we would be together forever (including eternity) and Robert was a Catholic! The day was January 14, 1978. So much for my motivation in starting Affirmation. We are both still very much together and even more in love and committed to each other than ever. Robert has totally supported me in Affirmation over the years and we now even work together with our own little business. We just had our 25th anniversary and are going on a fabulous cruise in February to celebrate it. This is a true story. There is such a thing as that one special person destined just for you. Head out on a very stormy night and you just may find them. --Paul

Still Waiting for my Stripling Warrior...

by Dan Cash

Here I am approaching 40, and still single. What's up with that? By this time I was supposed to be married, have kids, be finished with college, have a good career, and be serving in a bishopric somewhere. How did I get side tracked?

Actually, I'm in a very good place in my life. I'm content with where I live, working toward some goals, and even at piece with being single. I wouldn't mind finding my Stripling Warrior someday, though, especially if he looks like one of those hotties in Arnold Friberg's Two Thousand Young Warriors painting. (Well, one can dream, can't he?)

What's it like being single in a culture that seems to prefer couplehood? Well, I don't have to share the remote, I get to pick what videos to rent, and I even get to pick what restaurants to go to. I also throw off the seating in movie theaters. They're set up to accommodate groups of "two," so when a single person goes by himself, or tags along with a couple, that really messes things up! (Ah, the simple joys of life!)

All kidding aside, sometimes it's really no fun being single in this culture. Everywhere you look, images of couples abound. Whether it's the straight media, or the gay media, "coupledom" seems to be the quest to aim for. I have to chuckle when I read the dialogue between Michael and Mary Ann in Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City. Michael is convinced that Christmas is a conspiracy to make single people feel lonely. He goes on to tell Mary Ann how much he dislikes the "we" people. He tells her, "They never say I. They say, 'We're going to Hawaii after Christmas' or 'We're taking the dog to get his shots.' They wallow in the first person plural, because they remember how shitty it was to be a first person singular." While I don't share his opinion on this matter, I can certainly understand where that sentiment comes from.

One of the difficulties I find is where and how to meet nice guys. Internet chat rooms, bars, & clubs, hold not appeal to me. I suppose there are other avenues out there, but I've not made the effort to really find them. Here in Long Beach we have a vibrant gay community, so I really have nothing to complain about if I don't make the effort to socialize and make new friends. I don't know how people who live in areas with no cohesive gay community make that connection.

I suppose deep down inside, I long for a commitment to another person. I'd love to find that "special someone" to share dreams with, set goals with, and even fight for the remote with. But, for now, I'm single. That's okay too. We each have paths to walk in this life. Someday my prince (or Stripling Warrior) will come. When he does, I'm sure it will be a great thing. Until then, I'll just keep enjoying life.

Join Us in Portland as We Explore New Horizons
Portland Cornerstone, February 28 - March 2, 2003

Cornerstones are regional get-togethers for Affirmation members. Join us February 28 - March 2 as we plan Affirmation's future, reunite with old friends, and make new ones. We will discuss the Affirmation website, the 2003 Annual Conference, the bylaws amendment, youth issues, international development, transgender issues, chapter development, and other important topics.

When: Friday, February 28 - Sunday, March 2

Where: Alan Blodgett's home in Portland, Oregon.

The Saturday Potluck will be held at the home of Jason Giles. If you need to contact Jason regarding the potluck, call him or email him.

Cost: Suggested $20 donation to help offset food costs

Lodging can be arranged through Alan Blodgett.

Please confirm your attendance by email or by phone to Alan Blodgett.

Preliminary Program

Friday, February 28
7 pm - 9 pm: Meet and greet at Alan Blodgett's
9 pm: Out on the Town

Saturday, March 1
9-12: Morning Session
12-1: Lunch (Provided)
1-4: Afternoon Session
6:30-8:30: Dinner (Organized by the Portland Chapter, held at Jason's)

Sunday, March 2
9-10: Devotional
10-12: Closing Session

Planning Committee Advances Ideas for Annual Conference

by Duane Jennings

Hi Folks,

The 2003 Affirmation Conference Committee is excited about this year's Conference and hope all are looking forward to the annual get-together. We have received many ideas from people and the committee has had two brainstorming meetings. Now the question is just finding people with time and means to bring some of these big ideas to light. Volunteers are always welcome. Some of what we are looking at is a Rainbow Ball sponsored by several local groups, a memorial service of some sort and a celebration of our creativity.

We have also decided to resurrect the Handkerchief Project. Inspired by the Clothesline Project and similar to the Shower of Stoles Project, the Handkerchief Project is a visual representation of the pain occasioned by excommunication. If you or someone you love has been impacted by excommunication, or has had their name removed from the records in anticipation of excommunication, we invite you to participate if you didn't in 1997. We'll have more information on this project in the following months.

Next month's Affinity and the website will have registration information for the conference and accommodations, and additional information as the details are arranged. We are looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting new this year!

The Conference Committee

PS: Email Duane Jennings for questions, suggestions and to volunteer!