Inside This Issue Editorial: Remaining Strong and True in the Face of Opposition Calendar & Event Reminders Executive Director Candidacy In Defense of Our Families: A Statement by the Executive Committee Gay Pride in London Lesbian Mormons Launch New Mailing List

Scott MacKay

Editorial: Remaining Strong and True in the Face of Opposition

By Scott MacKay, Executive Director

Dear Affirmation Friends:

Only days after Canada made history by legalizing same-sex marriages, Elder Russell M. Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve launched yet another attack on same-sex unions. This isn't the first attack LDS leaders have made, and it won't be the last. As Elder Ballard and others assail the mere notion of gay and lesbian families, we must remember that what counts is what we do as individuals in our lives. Personal integrity in the face of opposition must be the path of the valiant.

Almost every year since I rejoined the Mormon universe as a gay man, one church leader or another has chosen to fire shots across the bows of the gay community. Early in my coming-out process I let these types of things bother me, but not now. I did this by developing a strategy to deal with these attacks, as well as with my own personal homophobia. I have little doubt these attacks will continue to happen with, I suppose, increasing frequency due to the rapid progress in gay rights and media attention. The following steps are the ones I follow. They continue to be successful for me and I strongly suggest you develop your own.

1. "If any of you lack wisdom…" Don't be afraid to consult with God. Returning to personal revelation is the key. In my case, it was direct and personal revelation (and I wasn't too keen on God, or any spiritual being at the time) which finally secured in me the knowledge that God created and loves me just the way I am--fabulously gay, and worthy of every blessing anyone else is. I realized that my eternal salvation is directly linked to how I live my life, and being gay is a vital component of my life.
   
   
2. I am willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of personal integrity. Above all else, to paraphrase Shakespeare, be true to myself. This mind set has helped me make the tough choices.
   
   
3. Although I'm totally "out," I'm respectful of those with different beliefs and of those who are at different stages in their lives. I work not to judge others for their own choices.
   
   
4. I decided to contribute any way I could to Affirmation and other organizations which seek to find harmony in this crazy world. I found that I had more time than money, so I chose to give service--and, as I can, money. Find your own mix, but both are important.

Love,

Scott MacKay
Executive Director

Event Reminders

Information and registration forms for the 2003 Affirmation Conference are available at our website or by requesting them at Affirmation's P.O. Box. Join us in Salt Lake City on October 10-12 for our annual family gathering.

Don't forget to vote in Affirmation's elections for national director! The ballots will be sent to all Affirmation dues-paying members by mail.

Olin Thomas

It is with great anticipation that I announce my candidacy for Executive Director of Affirmation for 2004. Perhaps with great trepidation as well, but confident that I am ready to put my shoulder to the wheel and push ahead with the work of an organization that I have grown to know and love over the last 14 years.

Affirmation deserves a director who is committed to seeing it not only survive but thrive, and I have tried to prepare myself for my time in the leadership role by serving as senior assistant director in 2003. Scott MacKay has served long and faithfully and it is time to pass the baton. My chairmanship of the 2000 Conference in Washington, DC was another great learning experience, as has been my seven years (more or less) as the chapter director in Washington, DC. As I have worked to maintain an active chapter in DC, I will work to maintain a healthy, multi-faceted national organization.

I firmly believe in the stability of the three legged stool--those legs being (1) local chapters, where people can meet face to face and build friendships, (2) conferences, where we can meld those friendships into a larger organization, and (3) the website and national newsletter, to further cement and promote the organization, keep everyone informed and most of all to provide an opportunity for contact to those not near a chapter and/or unable to attend conferences.

If elected Executive Director, I commit to having full and open communication with each and every chapter or local contact, including our growing international affiliates. My administration's goals will include continuing the modernization of the Affirmation website already begun, particularly the ability to accept payments and registrations on line. I will also work to find effective ways to reach our target audience - the gay or lesbian Mormon who still suffers from persecution or discrimination - and to provide the refuge of Affirmation to them. And most importantly, I will reach out to the many, many friends and acquaintances I have made throughout Affirmation to draw upon their wisdom, experience and strength in managing this organization.

Even though times are growing ever better for gays and lesbians in our society, there is so much more that needs to change and so many more who haven't found a place to be themselves. Now is not the time for those of us who are comfortable to rest. Now is not the time for us to give the message to the Church, governments or society that we have grown complacent. There is still a need for us to reach down and extend a hand to our brothers and sisters stuck in the valley and to help them climb onto the hilltop with us. I invite each and every member of Affirmation to work with me to accomplish this. I ask you for your vote in October -- and God be with you until we meet again.

September 2003

Scott MacKay, Darren Holman, & Olin Thomas

As members of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, we are embarrassed and saddened by recent statements made by LDS apostle M. Russell Ballard at Brigham Young University. In an August 21 talk, Elder Ballard stated that "same-gender marriage is being promoted in direct opposition to God's primary purpose for His [sic] children to experience mortality."

It is difficult to understand how LDS leaders, who in the past have been so persecuted and excluded for practicing an alternative family model (polygamous families), could be now so invested in condemning and making illegal another alternative family model (same-sex couples).

Elder Ballard and other LDS leaders view the prospect of same-sex unions as nothing short of apocalyptic. But many of us are already living with same-sex partners, raising children, and providing for our families--and we have been doing it for many years. The sky has not yet fallen!

We do not understand how this aggressive crusade against same-sex unions will help strengthen families, but we do see on a daily basis how the rhetoric of exclusion helps destroy lives. We see it among many of those who are excommunicated from their religious communities and ostracized by their families; we see it among those who undergo horrific so-called "treatments" in order to repress their natural feelings; we see it among those who turn to suicide in a desperate attempt to alleviate their pain and their alienation from the Church.

In the wake of the LDS Church's anti-gay campaign in California in 2000--and shortly before committing suicide--gay BYU graduate Stuart Matis expressed it better than we ever could: "Seek to understand first before you make comments. We have the same needs as you. We desire to love and be loved. We desire to live our lives with happiness. We are not a threat to you or your families."

Elder Ballard, when you condemn gay and lesbian families, you are not addressing some abstract satanic force at play in Canada, or in the Netherlands, or in San Francisco. You are condemning thousands of Mormon families who live here in Utah; you are condemning your neighbors, your children, and your siblings; in a word, you are rejecting your own.

Scott MacKay, Olin Thomas, Darren Holman, and Hugo Salinas
Executive Committee
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons

Gay policemen and women celebrate London Pride

Gay Pride in London

by Braulio Ventura

Two representatives of the "lost tribes" of Affirmation that are scattered among the nations of Europe gathered together under London skies to attend gay pride on July 26, 2003. Anthony Edmunds (from England) and Braulio Ventura (from France), accompanied by several "Gentile" friends, stood in Trafalgar Square on this cloudy Saturday morning to see the colorful, lively floats and cheer them on.

London's parade is small compared to other gay pride events in European capitals such as Paris or Berlin. (The big London tradition is actually the huge party that follows the event - which this year took place in Hyde Park.) But despite the foggy weather, it was a successful event, with the participation of over 60 thousand people, who represented several groups, from gay Muslims to gay policemen (who looked so sharp in their uniforms!), from gay Asians to gay soccer players.

Some accuse gay pride events of being actually harmful to the gay community, by projecting a distorted, stereotyped image. But as in other similar events, most of the participants in London this year were ordinary gay guys and girls who were simply marching to celebrate diversity and who, through their visibility, tried to undo old prejudices and to bring about much-needed changes. At any rate, for the small gay Mormon group and their buddies, it was an occasion to reunite old friends and create memories to be treasured in the years to come.

Lesbian Mormons Launch New Mailing List

Michele Oleson has launched a new mailing list for Mormon Lesbians, and it has already 30 members. "This email list was created for Lesbian and Bisexual women who are or were Mormon," says Michele. "We also include Mormon women who are exploring their attraction to other women and have not labeled themselves as lesbian or bisexual. We support all paths and have no tolerance for flaming of any kind." People interested in subscribing can do so by going to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mormonlesbians/.

This is the second mailing list for Mormon lesbians in the U.S. The other list, LDS Lesbian, was created in May 1999, has some 160 members, and is located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lds-l/.