Affinity February, 2004

Valentine Issue!!

Michael Miner

Editorial: An Invitation to Support Affirmation

By Michael Miner, Affirmation Treasurer

My extreme thanks to Alan Blodgett for the nine years during which he managed the finances for Affirmation and Gamofites. We all owe him a huge debt of gratitude. If you get a chance, please thank him by email or phone.

As I assume the responsibilities as the treasurer of Affirmation, I feel humble for having been asked; at the same time, I know that I have a very big set of shoes to fill, and at this time I probably don't completely feel up to the job. As with most things of this nature, they come with a big learning curve and I am grateful for that.

As most of you already know, Affirmation is here to help. We help in many ways. We have a conference every year, and this year will be no exception. The committee is in full swing and already making plans to make this conference in San Francisco the best ever. We have chapters all over the country and online. We publish a newsletter each month, both online and by mail, to keep our members informed. We have hotlines and the internet to help new people get in touch with long-time members in an effort to help smooth the road for them. Thus we let them know that we love and support them and that they can be full and complete children of God and gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender at the same time. We try to let them know that life can be wonderful.

All of this takes a great deal of time and thousands of volunteer hours and money. My job is to watch over these funds and help them to do the jobs that Affirmation is chartered for. To do this, I will need a lot of help. I would like to ask several things of you.

If you are not a current dues paying member of Affirmation, please consider joining or rejoining the organization. Your dues help to make it possible for us to help you and others. Also consider making a commitment to donate something every month to Affirmation or a larger sum once a year. Consider making a provision in your will or trust to leave something to Affirmation should something happen to you. Remember that what you leave to us will help others in the future. We are a nonprofit organization, and all donations are tax deductible to the full extent of the law. Also consider helping Affirmation by donating your time, either to a local chapter or on the national level. Affirmation would not be if we had no volunteers and no donations.

I believe that Affirmation is absolutely necessary and has saved many from heartache and despair; it was one of my lifelines. Please consider what you can do to help us in our mission until it is complete. Your donations can be designated to specific funds. If you need more information about any of our programs or information about how to donate, please email me at treasury583affirmation.org or call me at my home at 562-426-5158. Thanks in advance for your continued support!


Event Reminder

Join us February 8, 6:00 pm PST, for a session of Affirmation chat. Information on how to register and log in is permanently posted at <www.affirmation.org/chat>.


Preparations for Mexico Conference Underway
"Hearts Knit Together in Unity"

Gay and lesbian Mormons are making preparations for the historic conference to be held April 8-11 in Mexico City. With the theme "Hearts Knit Together in Unity" (see Mosiah 18:21), Affirmation members from the US and Latin America will gather for four days of sharing, bonding, and fun.

"We are so excited about this conference," writes conference chair Esteban Obregón. "It will be a wonderful opportunity to meet with Affirmation leaders and members from across Mexico and the US. We will share experiences, talk, get to know each other, laugh and cry, and share our frustrations and our dreams. God will bless this effort and it will be a fruitful event."

For more information and registration materials, go to <www.affirmation.org/Mexico2004>.

Brus Leguás Contreras

New Fund Will Help Chapter Director Travel to Mexico

By Hugo Salinas, Associate Director

Dear Friends of Affirmation:

We have just created a special fund to help Brus Leguás Contreras attend the historic conference to be held in Mexico City on April 8-11, 2004. Brus is the director of Affirmation Chile and has worked tirelessly in creating chapters in Santiago de Chile and Valparaíso. He has also created a website for Affirmation Chile and is now working to establish Affirmation's presence in Brazil.

For Brus, going to Mexico would be a unique opportunity--not only so that he can meet the executive committee, but also so he can network and exchange ideas with the chapter we have in Mexico City. Unfortunately, he has very limited means. We are inviting Affirmation members and friends to contribute towards this special fund.

We need to raise approximately $600 in order to make this trip a reality. You may send a check to: Affirmation c/o Chile Fund, PO Box 6369, Long Beach, CA 90806.

If you have further questions, please visit<www.affirmation/ChileFund> or contact at <nehor_2000yahoo.com>. Thank you for your generosity!


San Francisco Conference Announces Room Costs, Babysitting

The San Francisco Conference Planning Committee has just announced the costs for rooms at the Ramada Plaza Hotel International--and they are very affordable! A special conference rate of $109 a night ($124.26 with tax) will apply to rooms for up to 4 people. Mention Affirmation to get this special offer; a special discount will also apply to conference goers who stay in the Ramada Plaza. You can make your reservation by calling 1-800-227-4747.

As babysitting services are planned, this might turn out to be one of the most "family-friendly" conferences ever. Child care for children and youth will be available at the San Francisco Charles M. Holmes Campus at The Center and at the hotel's hospitality room for very affordable prices. If you are planning to use these services, please contact Trey Lathe and Guy Berryessa at warren3lathefamily.org

For more information on this and other conference updates, please visit <www.affirmation.org/SanFrancisco2004>.


Valentine Feature:
My Big Fat Gay Wedding

By Jim Butler

Weddings can be notorious for families behaving badly, and this one was heading right to a category 5. Ivan and I decided to have our ceremony in Hawaii, where people could come if they really wanted to, but we knew that the logistics of getting there would make it a small affair where we could focus on each other. We decided that we would sail to Hawaii from Vancouver and then have the ceremony on the beach in Maui. Then came the Canadian ruling on gay marriage, and as it turns out one of the two provinces issuing licenses was British Columbia. We thought, why not make it legal, and drove up on a day to apply for a marriage license. The process was quite easy. The only complication was that the forms still had Groom & Bride. (You will have to guess whose name went where!)

We paid the fee ($100) and faxed the form to a marriage commissioner we had previously made arrangements with. We then scouted out a bed and breakfast and also a beautiful spot in Stanley Park for the ceremony. The day came the following week, and we checked into the B&B with our three witnesses, Pat, Will, and Scott MacKay. We had a bachelor party of sorts that night in Vancouver, complete with dinner, dancing and a show at one of the clubs. The next morning we dressed and after breakfast headed to the Rhododendron Garden in Stanly Park.

The setting was like Eden, with the gentle sunlight finding its way through the plants, revealing an endless variety of green. The ceremony was quiet, beautiful, and in the end we all had tears, as Ivan and I sealed our love for each other with the full recognition of those around us and the government of Canada. Our friends took us to our ship, where we were met by many congratulations, even by the US immigrations officer as we boarded.

We had many adventures on the way over to Hawaii with what turned out to be a 30 or so gay folks who happened to also be on the cruise. We unofficially commandeered the Martini bar and the aft top sun deck, soon designated "Homo Heights." As the gay newlyweds, we were a bit of a novelty among the gay folks as well as the straights. We arrived in Maui to find Ivan's parents and my brother waiting for us, with a huge quantity of flowers and an arch which we set up at a small point of sand and trees reaching out into the Pacific. The scene was quite different this time under the palm trees with the waves and the wind. And this time we were surrounded by our family, as we held each other's hands and exchanged our vows, with tears again as the harpist played and sang the Hawaiian wedding song. It was truly a moving and wonderful ceremony. That night at the Luau they announced us with the rest of the weddings, and Ivan and I slowly danced and socialized with our family.

Some last remarks and advice for those who might also choose to marry. Do marry. It is our right as members of this society. Our marriage certificate sits now in our china cabinet alongside our other treasures. We see it every day, and it is a reminder to me how lucky I am to be married to the man I love, something that I never until recently imagined possible, yet the one thing I wanted more than anything. Try to keep things simple, and concentrate on what is important to you. Make it all about yourselves and not others. With that said, I don't think elopement is best, especially for gay folks. Celebrate your love with the others you love.



Salt Lake City Theater Pulls "Latter Days"

By Hugo Salinas

Madstone Theaters decided to pull from its programming the gay Mormon romantic comedy Latter Days (www.latterdaysmovie.com), generating controversy and helping preserve stereotypes about Utah's narrow-mindedness.

Despite rumors that they have been pressured by local Mormons, the two Salt Lake theaters that were offered the film, Madstone and the Tower, say that they rejected it not because of its controversial content, but because of its lack of artistic merit. Ironically, The Tower is screening Orgazmo, a raunchy comedy about an LDS missionary who becomes a porn star.

Written and directed by gay Mormon filmmaker C. Jay Cox, Latter Days tells the story of a gay man who seduces an LDS missionary. The movie was reviewed in the August 2003 issue of Affinity. Cox says he expects to be able to screen the movie in Park City.