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by Jim Westwood, leader for Affirmation Chicago Before moving to Chicago in July 2003, I was an Affirmation local contact in Connecticut. Being 2 hours from New York and Boston made get-togethers difficult. I enjoyed fielding email inquiries but wished I could do more in person. Chicago is an amazing city and I've become an avid believer in its virtues. It has a vibrant GLBT scene focused in two large neighborhoods. It offers numerous nightlife venues, gay-friendly restaurants, recreational clubs, and social services. The city is not without problems but its atmosphere is largely one of agreeable tolerance. When I arrived here, I was surprised there was no Affirmation presence. Chicago is outside the LDS diaspora although there is a temple. With 8 million people around, I figured there must be other GLBT folks from a Mormon background. I became a local contact to find out. In the past year, our emerging Affirmation group — not yet a formal chapter — has grown to about 8 people who meet regularly for dinner. We enjoy each other's company, discuss current events and relationships, and share personal stories that often have a uniquely LDS flavor. We often gather at my home although, last summer, we had a Pioneer Day picnic during which the blast furnace weather gently reminded us of ancestral travails. I came out at 17, quit attending church, and didn't go on a mission. I was excommunicated a few years ago. Nonetheless, I have great pride in my LDS heritage and the peculiar strengths it has given me. For as much as I feel integrated into society, especially the local GLBT community, I still desire to remain connected in some way to what I learned at Sunday school, Mutual, and sacrament meeting. This motivates me to be part of Affirmation. Affirmation plays an important role in getting people to share who they are. Within Affirmation, people can their relate their experiences and challenges and candidly discuss faith, doctrine, love, sexuality, happiness, and disappointments — all within that crucial Mormon context. I know that many of my GLBT LDS brothers and sisters have a difficult time reconciling their need for love with church teachings. Some people walk away completely from the church, just as I did. This can be painful. Others try to stay closer to the church for various reasons, including the need for family acceptance. This can also be painful. There is no easy path, I think, to reconciling these conflicting needs. I'd like to be of assistance if I can. Sometimes all that's needed is someone who'll listen. The Internet is wonderful, and I'd be lost without email and the web. However, I know that in-person meetings are vital to helping individuals understand each other. There is too much body language — too many smiles, laughs, hugs, and tears — that is poorly translated by computers. Each time our emerging group (soon to be an official chapter, I hope) gets together, it reminds me of the necessity to be with my Affirmation "family" regularly. The annual conference is marvelous — indeed, it is an event to be attended if at all possible — but I want to see my brothers and sisters more often. To those of you out there in Chicagoland: come join us for dinner sometime!
Ben Clark, an Affirmation member from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, has written about his experience growing up as a gay Mormon cowboy in rural Wyoming. "Seeing the premiere of Brokeback Mountain here in Jackson Hole brought back a flood of emotion," writes Ben. "I grew up gay in Wyoming in a cowboy/ranching culture." After serving a mission in Orange County, Ben moved back to Jackson Hole and began working for a dude ranch, where he worked long hours, had an encounter with a bear, and took 14-hour rides leading pack mules. Later Ben came out of the closet, but after living in New York City, California, and Utah, he decided to return to Jackson Hole. "My experience in Utah has been the most poignant in my life and taught me a lot," writes Ben. "I love all of my friends I have met there through Affirmation, Reconciliation, and Family Fellowship. They have been an anchor of friendship for me and have truly helped me keep a positive outlook and perspective on life. "Brokeback Mountain is a story of how my life could have been had I not moved away to California, New York, and Utah. I most likely would have remained in the closet and would have been extremely fearful of being myself. I cannot think of a more limiting life than that. "After experiencing what it is like to be loved and to love in a relationship when I lived in California and New York, I cannot turn my back on, or shut out the experience of, the past, denying the possibility of deep and abiding love in the future." To read Ben's full story, go to http://www.affirmation.org/voices/my_brokeback_mountain.shtml.
Affirmation to Hold Fireside & Mission Reunion in Salt Lake City Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons and Reconciliation announce their annual Fireside and Mission Reunion. The event will take place April 2, 2005, and will be held in Salt Lake City at the Metropolitan Community Church, 823 South 600 East. It will start at 5:00 with a potluck followed by a fireside that will feature writer Loren Jenner. Please bring a favorite casserole, salad or desert for the potluck. Drinks provided by the chapter. Our guest speaker has two books currently in print, Spirited Yearling Wounded and Warrior in The Mist. Spirited Yearling Wounded is a true story about a Mormon woman in the Mountain West who tries to take her life when she realizes that she’s attracted to other women. Spirited comes face to face with questions like, do I live my life according to church doctrine and repress my sexuality to become a Goddess in the afterlife? Do I honor my essence and express my sexual orientation with integrity only to be among murderers and adulterers when I die? Can I be rehabilitated, or does the quest for rehabilitation encourage the repression of my spirit? Is it more important who I love, what I am or how I love? For more information about this event, call Duane at 801-486-6977 or visit www.affirmation.org/news/2006_23.shtml. The Story of My Life By Leandro Valdés, Director of Affirmation Gran Valparaíso, Chile When I was 18, two LDS missionaries arrived at my home—Elder Smith and Elder Evans. My mom invited them in—out of curiosity, I think, to know who those two "gringos" were. After receiving the discussions, my whole family and some friends were baptized. My mom went to church only once, but my sister and I stayed active. I liked the church's teaching and found them logical. I grew up spiritually in the Paso-Hondo Ward, Quilpué Stake, in my city of Quilpué, Chile. I left my non-Mormon friends behind and made many new friends in the Church. We were a ward with many young people—around 25 of us. We had many activities and I served as the president for the Young Adults in my ward. At age 20 I went on a mission to Concepción, in the south of Chile. Leaving for a mission wasn't easy. My dad didn't support my decision to go, but my ward helped me a lot. I was the first missionary to leave from my ward, and everyone was very proud of me. My mission was the best time of my life—at least until now. Most of my companions were good, as well as my mission president. I met some wonderful people and served as district leader. My return home was tough—my parents had divorced and my family had fallen on hard times. Fortunately a member of my ward helped me find a job at a school. I felt lonely, but Marco, a good friend of mine who was also gay and LDS, gave me his friendship and support. Then Marco left on his mission. María, a young girl from my ward, returned from her mission shortly after me. Everybody thought she and I would make a perfect match. I was confused about my feelings and the things that my ward, my bishop, and my leaders were telling me. Once I asked María to be my girlfriend, but she declined. It was a great relief. I continued to attend my ward, but it wasn't the same. I felt I was different. When Marco returned from his mission, he got a job at a resort where he met some gay people. When Marco first told me he had gone to a gay disco, I reprimanded him and told him that wasn't right for him to do. But I ended up by asking him to take me with him. Meeting other gay people gave me a great sense of freedom and belonging. I started to live a double life—going to gay discos on Saturday night and being a good Mormon boy on Sunday. When I was 25 I got involved with a co-worker who was a married, bisexual man. I prayed a lot to my Heavenly Father, cried a lot, and concluded that it was time to decide whether I was going to stay with the Church or embrace my orientation. I decided to embrace my orientation and never went back to church. Some time after that, my bishop, who also happened to be my friend, came home to visit me and ask me why I was no longer attending church. I told him the truth. I told him I was gay. I told him that I had already made up my mind and couldn't live a double life. He looked me in the eye and said, "Look, Leandro, I cannot tell you whether what you're doing is right, but I do know that God loves you for what you are. If you believe you're going to be happy like this, go ahead. I hope you'll find a man who will love you and value you for who you are." I get emotional when I remember those words. I think he was speaking as a man of God. I completely embraced my gay identity but ended the relationship with my co-worker. Then I met José. He was my first serious relationship, and we were together for two years. I have sweet memories of my time with him. I decided to stop going to gay discos. I met other guys, but they were short-term relationships. Then one day as I was surfing the net I ran into Affirmation. I got the phone number of Brus, the President of Affirmation Chile. I called him over the phone. I took my friend Marco to visit him. Since then I haven't stop participating in the group. In Affirmation I found true friends and, even more important, I reencountered God and the gospel. Today I'm the president of Affirmation Gran Valparaíso. We are a small group, but we are united, and we are close friends. That's the story of my life. My sisters today know that I'm gay, and so do many of my friends. They respect me not because of my orientation but because of my worth as a person.
Andy Warhol Mentioned in the Church News by Matt "Chris" Christensen The name of renowned gay artist Andy Warhol appeared last week in an unlikely place--The LDS Church News. A story on the Feb. 4, 2006 announced an exhibit scheduled to open Feb. 24 at Brigham Young University's Museum of Art. "American Dreams: Selected Works from the Museum's Permanent Collection of American Art" will include 10 of Warhol's famous serigraphs of Marilyn Monroe. Made in 1967, the serigraphs were given to BYU in 1987. Despite the universal fame of the Warhol serigraphs, the Church News chose to illustrate its story with works by other artists. To see the BYU serigraphs, go to the website of the BYU Museum of Art  .Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: (affirmationLDS  earthlink.net)
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