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“I hope that all Gay Mormons who need us will realise that Affirmation is here for them” by Marcel Marcel is the coordinator of Sydney Gay Mormons. This is the third in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation. My involvement with Affirmation Australia began back in 1990, when I saw an ad for gay Mormons in a gay magazine. The advertisement took me by such surprise that I can remember re-reading it several times just to check it actually said what I thought it said. I even remember trying to look for typos and to work out what it might have meant to say, because surely my eyes were playing tricks on me. I sent a letter to the address in Sydney and waited anxiously for a response. Anyway, this is not about me, it's about our little happy gay LDS family living Down Under. (Okay... so it's a little bit about me as well.) At the time of stumbling across the advertisement I was living in Brisbane, the capital city of the state of Queensland—a 1.5 hour flight north of Sydney. It was exciting to make contact with someone from Sydney, albeit via mail—and for some reason it made me feel less alone even though I knew several other gay and lesbian LDS members in Brisbane. Because I was living in a different state, there was no real support group and the gay and lesbian members I knew didn't talk about “gay stuff”—we were all trying to live the way the Church wanted us to live. It was this need to live as the Church wanted me to, which ended up severing my connection with Affirmation, probably about 18 months after I first made contact. I eventually stopped attending Church in the second half of 1998 and came out to my family in the January of 1999. However, given my family's reaction to my revelation—even though they all said they “always knew I was gay”—my interest in the Church seriously waned. I wouldn't say that I became bitter towards the LDS Church, I don't think I ever have been—in fact, I've avoided that because I know it is important to people that I love. However, I did feel that I needed to completely remove it from my life, but being raised in the Church it still seemed to be part of me. I guess it was around 2002 when I first started to understand that the LDS Church helped shape me as much as my sexuality had. I can recall being attracted to other boys from my earliest recollections, so I knew that being gay was innate. So, I was faced with two cultures: being gay and being Mormon—the former was always part of me, and the latter was something I had learned. However, both played an important part in shaping my life and defining who I am. Sydney Gay Mormons With this realisation I began to search the Net for others like me. I had lost the address of the Affirmation Australia contact I’d met in 1990, but thankfully bumped into a Yahoo group created by a returned missionary from Adelaide (the capital city of South Australia). I joined this group and made some great friends, but it eventually folded. Although the group had no official connection with Affirmation, once again it gave me that sense that I wasn't alone and felt that connection with others like me. It wasn't long before I stumbled upon the Affirmation website and discovered that another Australian gay LDS group had been set up through Yahoo. This time the group had a more formal relationship with Affirmation. The leader at that time had been in close contact with several Affirmation members. So I came full circle and found my way back to Affirmation. A year or so later, the leader relocated to the United Kingdom and I inherited the role as moderator of the Sydney Gay Mormons group. We were small in number, but it wasn’t long before the membership began to grow. For a while a separate group was created in Brisbane, but the members of that group also belonged to the Sydney Gay Mormons group. It was planned to have a group in each capital city, but the Brisbane group folded, and we are now left with the Sydney group as the default national Affirmation chapter. We currently have around 40 members from all across Australia and some international members as well. The international members include Australians living abroad, international students who lived in Australia for a while, returned missionaries who served in Australia... and a couple of members who just love Aussies. A documentary on national television about comedian Sue-Ann Post's visit to an Affirmation conference resulted in a large influx of members joining the group. I hope they broadcast the program again in the near future so we can reach more people out there. Given that our group is so geographically separated—remembering that Australia is roughly the same size as the United States—it's hard to have activities that include everyone. The majority of our members live in Brisbane and Sydney, and as such the majority of social events happen in those two cities. Visitors from interstate (or overseas) are often a good motivation to plan something—so let us know if you're coming Down Under. Basically the Australian group functions as a first contact for gay and lesbian Mormons who are in search of someone like them; someone to help them make sense of it all. Sometimes members join the group and remain silent and then leave—I guess similar to what I did all those years ago. I hope that one day, if they need us again, they will realise that Affirmation is here for them. Gays/lesbians in Australia are basically free to live openly as gay/lesbian—although acceptance is much greater in the larger metropolitan cities. Australia has always been a very liberal and open-minded country with a very diverse population. However, in terms of equal rights for gays and lesbians, we are sadly quite (embarrassingly) conservative. A couple of years ago the Federal Marriage Act was amended to preclude gay marriage. However, some cities have developed a civil union register—but this does not provide all the legal rights which are attached to marriage. The fight continues to legalise gay marriage, but I fear it may be a long and hard-fought battle. Last year I attended my first Affirmation conference in Portland, Oregon. Again I felt that sense of belonging. Unfortunately, due to other commitments, I wasn't able to attend the conference until the Sunday —the last day— but I still managed to meet some WONDERFUL people and have a great time. I was able to enjoy the feeling of belonging, love, and acceptance—something I never felt at church. I hope I get to come to the conference again this year in Washington DC, so I can enjoy that same wonderful feeling again. I also hope I am able to share that feeling with the people who seek out Affirmation in Australia.
This year's Affirmation Conference in Washington, D.C., may be the best bargain you see all year Inexpensive Flights As of February 28, the cost of flying from Los Angeles to Washington for the conference dates is $248 roundtrip, only $30 more than LA to Denver. At $325, Portland, Oregon, to Washington, D.C., and back is only one dollar more than Portland to Los Angeles, and less than $100 more than a ticket from Portland, Oregon, to Seattle, Washington. (Lowest priced fares, one stop or less, posted on www.Orbitz.com.) We have three major international airports in Washington, and price competition is strong, both for domestic and international flights. Come fly the friendly skies and discover why the airline industry is in so much financial trouble! So Do I Have to Sleep in the Lincoln Memorial? They say that staying in DC is not cheap—the average hotel room when Congress is in session can run from $300 to $1,200 per night, if you can find a room. The Conference Committee, however, has negotiated a room rate of only $149 per night (plus tax) in a great LGBT-friendly hotel on Capitol Hill, and you can have up to four in a room at that price. Bring three friends with you, and that's less than $38 a night! One word of warning, though: you must reserve by September 5; after that date, rooms are on a space available/prevailing rate basis. Most hotels in the area expect to be near capacity for the second half of this year. Reservation information is available at www.affirmation.org/conference. Amazing Metro System So now we have you in Washington and you have a place to stay. Now you can start saving some real money. Forget about airport shuttles and rental cars. The DC Metro system will whisk you from Reagan-National Airport or Baltimore-Washington Thurgood Marshall Airport to Union Station, just two blocks (that's a five-minute walk or a one-minute taxi ride) from the hotel. Metro trains will also get you to Dupont Circle (the center of gay life on the mid-Atlantic coast), and just about anywhere else that you might want to go that is beyond walking distance. Union Station also features some great architecture, dozens of shops and restaurants, a food court, and Amtrack Accela high-speed train service to New York City. Things to Do in DC Washington is America's hometown and a favorite vacation destination. Watch the conference web pages at affirmation.org/conference this month for a list of fifty free attractions within walking distance of the conference hotel, including museums, monuments, the U.S. Capitol—you can even tour the Bureau of Engraving and Printing and watch money being made! Want something on the cultural side? Some of the greatest talent in the world performs every evening at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts—for free. Shopping? We have some of the best. And then don't forget the conference itself. You may have noticed our Friday night opening speaker, Brett Parson, on the pages of the latest issue of The Advocate. We have a number of other prominent speakers lined up—politicians, religious leaders, activists, authors and entertainers—all included in your conference fee. The Early Bird Gets the Discount And speaking of conference fees, there are substantial discounts this year if you send in your conference registration early (before June 1), and special low rates for students and for first-time conference attendees. Come spend some time in Washington. You will have a great vacation, see some amazing sights, meet unforgettable people, attend a dynamic conference, and get a chance to see just what it is that your elected representatives do all year. (You may also hear a bit about how the District of Columbia is the only place in the United States whose citizens have no voting representation in Congress, but we also have the only mayor in the United States who has the power of the death penalty! Life inside the Beltway is unique.) Circle your Calendar for the first weekend in October, then plan a few days extra. Registration forms will be on the website in just a few days; hotel information is there now. See you in DC ! “From my coming out, and my transition from female-to-male, I'm a much better person and can do much more for other people” by Kourt Osborn Kourt Osborn is one of four young people with an LDS background who will participate in Soulforce's Equality Ride as it stops at BYU, BYU-Idaho, and some 15 other religious colleges that discriminate against LGBT students. The Equality Ride will visit BYU on March 21-22 and BYU-Idaho on April 16-17. For more information on these four Riders of LDS background, and to help sponsor their Ride, please visit the pages for Mike Cramer, Matt Kulisch, Kourt Osborn, and Emil Pohlig at www.soulforce.org/2007riders. Kanab, Utah, is located five miles from the Arizona border. The nearest Wal-Mart is over an hour away. The local movie theater plays one movie, once a night, three days a week. My graduating class was 64 people. Overlooked by sweeping blue skies, and surrounded by red rocked cliffs, the isolation in one of the most isolated towns in America was deep. I converted to the LDS Church at the age of twelve. I converted mostly because all my friends were LDS, they were all doing LDS things, and all they pretty much talked about was church. (Looking back on it, I know their lives were more than just church, but at the time it seemed very intense.) As the years went on, I held several callings within the Church. These included president of my respective age groups, not once but three times, and various camp leader positions as well. My face was a staple at church. On the outside, my face and my actions said that I loved the Church; on the inside I felt incompatible, but I thought everyone felt that way. I wish I could say that the Church played a more direct role in my life, but I honestly stopped going around the age of sixteen. There were events that played out in my latter teen years, but they didn't impact me in the way one would expect. Instead, the Church played a more indirect role in my life and towards my views of sex, sexuality, and gender. As it turns out, the church does not affirm transgendered folks. Not only that, but the Church leaves few options for transgender folks. For my life and my needs, I needed to transition or I would surely die. For the Church, my transition said that I thought God was wrong, and I was less holy, less righteous, and less worthy than other members. I saw other members doing what they needed to do to survive; why was my choice so wrong? The way I look at it, the Church and I had a mutual separation. I left them for many reasons beyond my transgendered identity, as I'm sure they left me for many reasons as well. Spending my high school years in a place that didn't have a P-FLAG chapter or a Gay-Straight Alliance was very difficult. I remember one time someone wrote "Fagett" on my locker. I wrote back on the locker, "If you're going to discriminate, at least spell things correctly." It wasn't until I wrote my little note back that the school decided to paint my locker. I learned what it meant to be transgender while living in Utah but felt that the situation was hopeless and that I would never be able to obtain the body or the life I wanted. It took a move across the country for me to realize that I had realistic options. I moved to Pennsylvania when I was nineteen. There I found an abundance of resources and willing and loving people. I started hormone replacement therapy by way of testosterone injections on December 27, 2005. I returned to Utah in late June of 2006. At this time I was passing 100% as male, and was starting to see that male privilege did exist: In restaurants the check was always placed closer to me when I was in the presence of a female; other males in commercial settings would talk to me, as opposed to the female in the situation (who was usually my grandmother or my mother.). Even the conversations that would happen randomly between me and other males were completely flabbergasting at points. One of my LDS co-workers in a restaurant where I worked made terribly offensive comments towards women in the Church, black people in the Church, and gay people in the Church. My family affirms me, supports me, and loves me without reservation. It's such a shame that many LDS families are ready to disown their children. I find it hard to believe that because someone identifies with something outside the norm that we must abandon them. I believe that the parents of those Queer children who do not have families who support and still love them, should look back into their hearts and the true message of Christ. We need to love others and to allow ourselves to be loved. Many Queer youth spend so much time talking about how hard it is for them, but I believe we must talk more about the good things that result from coming out. From my coming out, and my transition from female-to-male, I now can live a more fulfilling and happy live. I'm a much better person, and because I am a much better person, I can do much more for other people. Since I have found my happiness in my identity, I can try my best to help others find their way. The best way for me to do this right now is the Equality Ride. The Equality Ride is an endeavor sponsored by Soulforce. There are two buses that will spread a message of love to 32 schools across the country. I will be on the West Bus, which has stops like Notre Dame, BYU, Pepperdine, BYU-Idaho, and many other campuses. These schools all have a policy that does not allow the Queer students to live open and honest lives. Matt Kulisch and I are coordinating the stop at BYU. We would like to compile a list of concerns or grievances from current Queer students, former Queer students, and their friends and family. For more information, please visit http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_008.shtml.
It Will Be Held Sunday, April 1, at the Metropolitan Community Church Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons and Reconciliation will hold their semiannual Fireside and Mission Reunion Sunday, April 1, at the Metropolitan Community Church, 823 South 600 East. A Reunion potluck will begin at 5:00 p.m., followed at 6:15/6:30 p.m. by a fireside. The fireside will feature music and a special quest speaker. Family and friends are welcome to join us. Please bring a favorite entree, salad or desert for the potluck. Drinks provided by the chapter. Other Stories Recently Posted at www.affirmation.org Affirmation Minnesota to Hold Second Meeting http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_020.shtml Affirmation Kansas City Held Meeting, Is Planning Next http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_019.shtml Is Breaking the Law of Chastity “Next to Murder”? http://www.affirmation.org/learning/is_breaking_the_law.shtml “Assume the Position, Elder:” How I Decided to Get a Hepatitis Vaccine http://www.affirmation.org/health/assume_the_position_elder.shtml Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: (affirmationLDS  earthlink.net)
AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY
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