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Cementing Stronger Bonds with Latin America
by Michael, coordinator for Afirmación Latino This is the sixth in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation. After serving an LDS mission in Buenos Aires, my volunteerism now lies in being Affirmation’s contact person for Spanish-speaking GLBT Mormons and administering the Afirmación Latino listserv, composed of Spanish-speaking GLBT Mormons from all over the world. As a result of Afirmación Latino, Spanish-speaking GLBT Mormons have a forum in which to unite, share experiences, and above all support one another. As Spanish-speaking GLBT Mormons began connecting with one another a new frontier for Affirmation began to develop throughout Latin America with organized groups in Mexico City and Santiago, Chile, as well as contacts in several Latin American countries. Since the formation of Afirmación Latino I have thought about organizing an itinerary that would take me to several South American destinations and meet Affirmation members face-to-face after years of e-mail exchanges, and in April 2007 I set out on a 5-week journey to Argentina, Uruguay, Chile, Peru and Ecuador to make this happen. My first stop was Argentina. After visiting old friends in Argentina and rekindling my love for Buenos Aires, I made it a point to meet two Afirmación Latino members, Daniel in Mar del Plata, and Carlos in Buenos Aires. My travel companion, Pedro, Affirmation’s contact in Ecuador, met me in Buenos Aires during my second week in Argentina and together we traveled overland to Viña del Mar, Chile. Upon arrival to Viña del Mar, Brus Leguás Contreras, President of Affirmation Chile and recipient of the 2006 Paul Mortensen Award, and Leandro Valdés, Director of Affirmation’s Gran Valparaíso group, greeted and accompanied us to Brus’ house where he and his partner, Daniel, housed us during our one-week visit. The following day Brus organized an Affirmation luncheon and we had the opportunity to meet several of the local members, including Cecilia, Affirmation Chile’s contact for women’s issues. The luncheon allowed us to meet the Affirmation members in a casual atmosphere. Almost all members of the group were returned missionaries and we shared common stories of our missions and talked about Affirmation’s success in that region of Chile. The days following the luncheon were spent visiting Viña del Mar and Valparaíso guided by Brus and another Affirmation member, Cristián. The last day of our visit in Chile, Brus and Cristián accompanied us to Santiago to meet another 10-12 members of the Affirmation group in that city. This meeting was a bit more formal than the group in Viña and we began by singing a church hymn and opening prayer. Five psychology students from the Catholic University in Santiago were invited guests of the group and several Affirmation members spoke about how they found Affirmation and what the message of Affirmation has meant in their lives. Brus has said that Affirmation is an instrument in saving lives and souls of those who are outcast from their religion, and after hearing the words from the members of the group I saw that his words rang true. Brus asked me to say a few words as the “representative” from the U.S., which gave me the opportunity to share my own personal experience as well as take the message of gratitude and acknowledgement from the Executive Committee. I congratulated the group for their diligence in making Affirmation a success. Brus and other group leaders are now looking into forming yet another group south of Santiago as well as aiding in the establishment of Affirmation groups in other countries of the region. Next, Pedro and I traveled to Peru and after several days visiting Cuzco and Machu Picchu, we arrived in Lima where we met with a group called GLBT Christians (Cristianos y Cristianas TLGB) who welcome GLBT people from all faiths. One Affirmation Latino member, Jesús, attends this group and serves as a contact for Affirmation in Peru. This meeting allowed us to speak about our common goals and collaborate with one another. In the absence of an official Affirmation group in Peru, GLBT Christians serves as a place where GLBT Mormons can attend and feel welcome. We ended our trip in Guayaquil, Pedro’s home town from where I returned to the United States. Like Peru, Ecuador doesn’t have an organized Affirmation group. However, Pedro serves as the Affirmation contact there and GLBT Mormons connect via the Afirmación Latino listserv. Although I visited several exciting places my greatest memories involved meeting Affirmation members throughout my journey, sharing own common experiences of growing up LDS and being gay/lesbian, and establishing a stronger bond with our brothers and sisters in Latin America. The message of Affirmation is alive and vibrant with these people and I anticipate many future exchanges and friendships through Affirmation’s network in Latin America.
Fees Go Up and Room Rates Double After August If you are thinking about waiting until the last minute to make your hotel reservations and register for conference, think again! Conference registration fees go up on September 1, and hotel rooms double or triple in price on September 5. If you make your reservation at the conference hotel, the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill, before September 5, you will receive the Affirmation negotiated rate of just $149 (plus taxes) per night for your choice of a single, double, triple, or quad room. Because of the high number of people registering for this year’s conference, Affirmation has increased the size of our room block at the Hyatt and we have also secured a block of rooms at another nearby hotel if needed. But on September 5, all of these rooms go to market prices, and you can expect to pay between $289 and $1,089 per night, depending upon room size, location, and availability. You can make your reservations by calling 1-800-233-1234 or 202-737-1234; be sure to ask for the Affirmation Conference Rate, and be sure you are booking at the right Hyatt (there are several in D.C.). Much more information about the hotel is available at the conference web site, www.affirmation.org/conference. By staying at the conference hotel, you are not only in the center of all of the conference action, but you also help reduce Affirmation’s cost for meeting rooms and other hotel services. Need a roommate to share expenses? Find one at the Roommate Finder on the conference web site. There are also significant savings for getting your conference registration in early, as well. If you register in August, the conference registration fee is just $159, and there is a $20 discount if this is your first conference or if you are a student or unemployed. (This is well below cost). But for registrations postmarked after August 31, the registration fee goes up to $179, and after September 20, the fee goes to $199 with no discounts. If funds are tight, you can apply for assistance from the Irwin Phelps Scholarship Fund. If you can afford it, donations may be made through the conference registration form to the conference fund or to the Irwin Phelps Fund. Registration forms, mailing instructions, and information on the Irwin Phelps Fund are all available at www.affirmation.org/conference. Conference fees may be paid by check or by credit card, but if you pay by check you will save Affirmation the cost of the credit card merchant fee. Remember, you need to both register for conference and reserve your room. Do both this month and the savings will be substantial. DC Conference Will Include Special Events for Women, Fathers, First Timers, and Members of the Chapter-at-Large There several special activities going on during Conference, including: Women’s Luncheon. Not your auntie’s afternoon tea, this is an opportunity for the women of Affirmation to gather for fellowship and for discussion. Saturday afternoon; sign up at the registration desk during conference. Gamofite Luncheon. Gamofites (Gay Mormon Fathers) continue their long tradition of gathering during Conference. A highlight of the luncheon is the presentation of the Michael Farr Award. Gamofite members, and any others who are interested, are encouraged to attend. See Larry Mann or sign up at the Conference registration desk. First Timers Meeting. Never been to an Affirmation Conference before? Not quite sure what to expect? This meeting is where you need to be! The leaders of Affirmation and members of the Conference Committee will fill you in on what will be happening, what not to miss, what to watch out for, and what you should expect over the course of the three days of conference. We’ll be meeting at 4:30 on Friday afternoon, so you will want to get your registration materials and the meeting location from the registration desk before then. Chapter at Large. You’ve been to the Affirmation web site, you are coming to Conference, but you have never been to an Affirmation meeting because there is no Affirmation chapter or group where you live? Well guess what? You only thought that you were chapter-less! You are actually a member of the Affirmation Chapter-at-Large, and the At Large Chapter will be having a Chapter activity during conference. Contact Chapter Leader Fred Bowers or pick up information either at the conference registration desk or during the First Timers’ Meeting.
Check Out the BeltwayGaze! This is, after all, 2007, and so you know that it had to happen. The 2007 Affirmation Conference has its own blog. Want the inside scoop, behind the scenes, queer eye for the western guy, a get down look at conference, Washington, travel, nightlife and whatever else seems of interest at the moment? Check out the latest at the BeltwayGaze blog. From restaurants to squirrels, and five-sided city blocks to DC nightlife, our fearless bloggers have been covering it all in their daily postings. Want to know the best museums or where to find a gay restaurant serving steak at 3:00 AM? It’s there. You’ll get to meet the BG bloggers at conference this fall. In the meantime, the link to BeltwayGaze can be found on the conference site at www.affirmation.org/conference. Great Air Fares Available for Conference There are some excellent air fares available for this October’s Affirmation Conference in Washington, D.C. In late July, Virgin America began service to Washington, and several other airlines, including Jet Blue, United, Southwest, and Delta, have responding but cutting their fares in and out of the nation’s capital. Following are some examples of fares available on July 27 on Orbitz; all fares shown are round trip for the conference dates and include all taxes and fees. Do some shopping and you can probably find other great bargains.
Deadline for Mortensen Award Nominations Approaching The Deadline is September 10 It is time once again to call for nominations for Affirmation's highest honor, the Mortensen Award. The award is presented each year at our annual conference to an individual who has served Affirmation in outstanding leadership and service during the past year. The nominations must be received by September 10, 2007—no exceptions! E-mail them to the Mortensen Awards Committee. Do not submit just a name. We need to know something about the individual since the committee may not know him/her well. For a full description, visit www.affirmation.org/news/2007_062.shtml. Former Married Couple Calls on LDS Church, Evergreen to Change Ways “They have to already be aware that their program has a huge failure rate”
SALT LAKE CITY — A formerly-married couple has called upon Evergreen International and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to change how they treat gay and lesbian people who come to them for help in their struggle with their sexuality. Lester and Barbara Leavitt spoke to the media in front of the Crane Building, where LDS Church-sponsored Evergreen has an office. Evergreen’s purpose is to help “people who want to diminish same-sex attractions and overcome homosexual behavior.” Run by David Pruden, who will also act as executive director of the National Association of Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, the group is used by the LDS Church to handle gay and lesbian members seeking counseling. The Leavitts were married in 1981 in an LDS temple, though Lester was struggling with his sexuality. “Advice from leaders of the Mormon Church was that, if you would just marry a woman, the natural love would blossom and you would experience all the joys of marriage,” Lester said. “The message that I trusted was incorrect.” Finally, in October 2004, Lester told his wife he is gay. The two tried to continue their marriage, with Lester promising to uphold his vows, but after falling in love with one of his best friends, the couple realized that was unlikely. “When Lester came out as gay two and a half years ago, I became aware of the need for me to become self-sufficient, self reliant, and to accept that I alone am responsible for my own destiny,” Barbara told the crowd. “I was told to divorce him and to keep the children away from him. I was told to pray and read the scriptures to find the truth.” Barbara did read the scriptures and pray, and only became confused. “The members of the church were telling me to break up my family unit and to stop loving my husband,” she said. “That he was evil and of the devil because he is gay.” “I could not do it,” she continued. “I will not stop loving Lester. Love does not judge ... it just is.” The couple knows that their story is not unusual. “We are now at a critical mass when hundreds of these men and women from the 1970s and 1980s have been married for 20, 25, 30 and 35 years,” said Lester. “Most are lonely and miserable in their marriages, and their wives and husbands are trying to figure out what they did wrong.” “Some of these closeted men and women have affairs on the side, endangering the lives of their unsuspecting spouses,” he explained. The couple called upon Evergreen and other “ex-gay” ministries to admit their failures and change their focus. “We have already seen more than 30 of our gay peers commit suicide,” Lester said, “because the culture within the Mormon Church has made it impossible for families to reconcile their religion with the fact that they have had a gay son or a gay brother or who, like my kids, have a gay father.” “Without changing its current mission statement, Evergreen cannot remain blameless,” he continued. “They have to already be aware that their program has a huge failure rate.” “The silence of good people is worse than the actions of bad people,” Barbara quoted from Zoya, an Afghan woman. “I feel that the time has come for all people to stop being silent. We need the strength to speak out and voice an opinion that must be voiced. Only this way can good come in this world.” “By showing love, tolerance and acceptance we can bridge the gap between gay and straight and be role models for our children and others.”
“These images are saying, ‘You should be ashamed to acknowledge your sexuality’” by Lisa Hansen Why is it that LDS publications do not show us the face of any gay person? As why is it that the testimonials are always anonymous? Is it because gay Mormons are supposed to be ashamed of who they are? Is it because they will soon be “cured” and therefore they shouldn’t be outed to the person they’ll someday marry? Or is it because if they were to actually show us their full face we would realize that they are as normal and happy as any other person? An article published on the July 21 issue of the LDS Church News includes three photo illustrations of gay men, but none of them are facing the camera. A woman covers her face in an illustration for the August 2002 Ensign article “My Battle with Same-Sex Attraction.” And the cover of the book In Quiet Desperation depicts a young man with his eyes pasted over. “These illustrations endorse the closet as a way of life for gay and lesbian people,” says John-Charles Duffy, who is pursuing a doctorate in religious studies. “These images are saying, ‘You should be ashamed to acknowledge your sexuality.’” LDS Psychotherapist: Recovered Gays “Disappear” The July 21 Church News article is a direct response to the recent press conference held by Barbara and Lester Leavitt at the headquarters of Evergreen, an LDS-sponsored organization for gay Mormons who want to remain celibate. In the article, LDS psychotherapist Jeffrey Robinson is quoted saying that the reason we don’t hear about gay Mormons “who stay with their wives and children” is because “they disappear.” “They go on with their lives,” he said. “They don’t hold meetings. They don’t hold press conferences.” During the July 12 press conference, the Leavitts, who do have faces and showed them to the media, accused the LDS Church and Evergreen of giving false hopes and having “huge failure rates” in their prescribed treatment for gays and lesbians. Although the article starts with the story of a gay man who is now “happily married,” LDS leaders now admit that same same-attraction “may” never go away. In fact the article ends with the story of another gay man who was told by his stake president to “get married and have sex and the [same-sex] feelings will go away.” The feelings never went away, and the man up ended being excommunicated. “The story of the excommunicated gay man is the perfect example why you should reflect very carefully before following the advice of a stake president or bishop,” says Hugo Salinas, from Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons. “Church leaders seem more interested in keeping gay Mormons from ever experiencing their natural sexuality than in helping them find the happiness that may come through living a full life and having a same-sex partner.” “According to the Church News articles, the life-paths of gay and lesbians Mormons are paved with sorrow,” Salinas added. “That statement might accomplish the desired effect of scaring many gay and lesbian Mormons into living a life of denial, but is it does not offer an explanation for why I have been so happy living with my same-sex partner.”
By Olin Thomas Becoming a sustaining member is a great way to show your support for Affirmation. As a thank you for your generosity, if you renew your membership at the sustaining level ($50), or if you become a member for the first time at that level, you will receive a CD-Rom containing all the known issues of Affinity, the Affirmation newsletter, from March 1980 (charter issue) to April 2002. Prepared in PDF format, this collection contains over 1,900 pages of Affinity issues and provides a panoramic window into our rich history. Members who have a membership at the basic level ($25) may also receive the CD-Rom by making a $25 donation to Affirmation. If you are interested in receiving your copy (or if you have already ordered a copy and are still waiting to receive it), send me an email by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/ex_dir or call me at 703-864-5527. Please allow 4 – 6 weeks for delivery.
Stepping Out: A Poem by Jason Gagnon The following poem was written by Affirmation member Jason Gagnon, who is trying to start an Affirmation group in Albany, New York. To contact Jason, please visit www.affirmation.org/contact/albany I’ve stepped out from the shadows. Away from fear and self hatred; I’ve decided today to love myself for me, and live life how I see it should be. I’m stepping out. I’m taking a stand. I’m going to begin to love myself for who and what I am. I’m going to accept me, even if no one else can. I will see only the positive in myself and share the talents which I have. I will not allow myself to be judged by others, I will not be mocked. I am of my own being and not of any other. I shall stand with my head and that is me held high. Gay Monogamous Couple Are Brains Behind Polygamy Show From a story in the San Francisco Chronicle Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer, the screenwriting team that created "Big Love," don't have a personal interest in Mormonism or polygamy, but they do know something about family lifestyles outside the American mainstream. That's because, offscreen, they're a gay couple celebrating the 16th year of their own monogamous relationship. In an interview in May, they talked about the ideas behind Big Love and some of the changes they've made in the second season. To read the interview, visit www.affirmation.org/news/2007_071.shtml
Other Stories Recently Posted at www.affirmation.org Gay Monogamous Couple Are Brains Behind Polygamy Show www.affirmation.org/news/2007_071.shtml Sunstone Symposium to Include Gay-related Sessions www.affirmation.org/news/2007_072.shtml Indianapolis Chapter to Hold First Meeting www.affirmation.org/news/2007_073.shtml Mormon Actor Featured in Gay Publication www.affirmation.org/news/2007_074.shtml Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity Send Us Your Submission! AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee. Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy. About AFFINITY and E-AFFINITY AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document. Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important mission. If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request (www.affirmation.org/affinity/subscription.shtml). If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet access, you may request a printed version that will be sent to you by mail. |
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