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“I feel that I can open hearts and minds, and make life better for the Saints, queer and not” by George Cole This is the fifth in a series of articles featuring the voices of Affirmation. If you are interested in having your voice featured here, please contact Olin Thomas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/ex_dir. I made first contact with Affirmation about the time I stopped attending church in January of 2002. After years of checking in at the website, I finally reached out to someone. Jason Giles came and picked me up from my low-quality, high-rent apartment in Northeast Portland and drove us to 3 Friends Coffeehouse, where we talked about being gay, the church, and life in general. Without such a positive first meeting I might never have gotten involved, and quite possibly Jason is the only person who could have introduced my awkward 20-year-old self to Affirmation and somehow given me reason to come back. At the time I could only see Affirmation as some weird apostate group, to be avoided at best. But I suppose I wanted some connection to the faith my parents taught me, and to the culture I grew in. For a long time my involvement in Affirmation was only off and on, mostly when my evening work schedule allowed. This only changed in increments, starting with my first activity, a vigil outside the Portland Temple during Suicide Prevention Week; to my first conference, Salt Lake City in 2003; to serving with Jason as co-leader of the Portland Chapter and co-chairing the 2006 conference in Portland. Somewhere in there, my outlook changed. Affirmation wasn’t just about spending time with people who understood where I came from: Affirmation became my way to make life better for other people. To paraphrase the Eagle Scout Oath, due to who I am because of Affirmation, I want to give back more to it than it has given to me. This really began for me at that first conference, attending workshops aimed at understanding queer youth and young adults. That was me! It still is, in fact. (I hope that in years to come I will still look like a young adult, but I suppose that may be out of my control, no matter how much moisturizer I use.) I returned from that conference wanting to make life better specifically for other queer LDS young adults. Those efforts went nowhere, but some things must wait for the right time. In the years between then and now I’ve learned how better to serve my chapter and Affirmation in general, both ongoing processes. One day I might even figure out how to do those. Now things have come around to where I started. The executive committee recently asked me to chair an ad hoc committee of and for young adults. Naturally, I said yes. Early discussion with Dave Melson about how to do this effectively—especially about how to bring more young people into Affirmation—prompted this from him: he informed me that I have a sense of ownership in Affirmation. I think that’s true. I care about the people in it. I care about how we are treated by the church, collectively and individually. I care about all the good Saints, straight and not, who fail to love and support each other as Christ intended us to. I suppose I’d feel that way without Affirmation, but it is due to Affirmation that I feel I have a means to make a real change in Mormon culture, which I still love dearly. Leading up to my excommunication in September 2003 my mind went through endless scenarios about how I would address the brethren assembled to judge me. They all ended like this: “I wish that this would have happened back where I grew up, with people who had known me my entire life, so it would have a greater effect on them.” From the looks on a few faces, that sentiment made some small differences in that high council in Portland I hardly knew. Now, though Affirmation, I feel like I can make that difference—and not just in the lives of people I know, who are close to me: I feel that I can open hearts and minds, and make life better for the Saints, queer and not. I owe this feeling and drive for positive change to the people reading this, who keep bringing me back to Affirmation. You are my hope and inspiration that the good Mormon people will become better people. I’m certainly better because of you.
When Affirmation leaders sat down to chose a venue for the 2008 conference, they found a beautiful, inexpensive hotel not far from LAX, which is one of the cheapest destinations in the country. Now we want you to consider three ways to save even more:
Join Us for Our Annual Leadership Meeting It Will Be Held October 10 during the Affirmation Conference by Olin Thomas, Executive Director June 2008 Affirmation may be managed by a small committee, but the authority to govern, both real and moral, is vested in the members. There are few times during the year when the executive committee and officers can meet with the members and none better than at our annual conference in the Council of Chapter Representatives. Commonly called the “Leadership Meeting,” this annual business meeting is the time when representatives from each Affirmation Chapter meet to hear about the state of Affirmation and discuss the direction they want to see the organization move in. In addition, only this group of representatives has the authority to approve changes to our Charter or Bylaws. Anyone attending the conference may attend the Council meeting and we encourage interested members to join us. Further, each chapter is asked to designate a representative and an alternate who can attend the meeting and be prepared to speak about their chapter. Please provide the executive director with the names of those representatives. The meeting will begin at 3:00 PM on Friday, October 10, and conclude around 5:00 PM. We will be meeting in the Marina Room, which is at the far left end (as viewed from the front entrance) of the conference hotel. Please consider the scheduling of your flight so that you can arrive in time to attend. Should you arrive later, please do not hesitate to drop in for the remainder of the meeting — we will be glad to see you! The executive director, treasurer and other officers will present concise reports on the state of Affirmation. We will also discuss locations and dates for upcoming conferences. Attending this meeting is a great way to meet the current leadership of Affirmation, to get a sense of Affirmation's direction, and to contribute your views. Please join us and help keep Affirmation going strong!
History will remember 2008 as a dramatic year on several fronts. For one thing, this is an election year, and the decisions made by the next president of the United States will affect us all for many years to come. This is also the year when the California Supreme Court granted all Californians the right to marry regardless of their sexual orientation. Despite a new call by LDS leaders to amend the Constitution, a 2006 poll found that the percentage of Californians who disapprove of gay marriage had declined to 51%. The opinions of all citizens, gay and straight, will influence the decision-making process at this crucial time in the history of our nation and of GLBT rights. Think of the impact your voice can have in helping bring attention to issues such as marriage inequality, homophobia, family discrimination, and the unnecessary fear and ignorance that politicians, religious leaders, and pundits sometimes spread when they preach a message of gloom and doom. Are you ready to “declare the things which [you] know to be true”? (D&C 80:4). Consider publishing a letter to the editor in a local paper and submit it to the 2008 Affirmation Writing Awards, which will offer prizes of $500, $300, and $200. The deadlines are approaching. To read the contest rules, please visit www.affirmation.org/awa.
Raising a Travel Fund for Chile It will help Brus Leguás Contreras visit contacts and potential groups in various parts of the country by Hugo Salinas It is rare for Affirmation to appeal to its members and friends for money to carry out special projects, and it is almost unheard of to do so for a project outside the U.S. This is one of those rare occasions. Since 2003, Afirmación Chile has experienced remarkable progress. Brus Leguás Contreras, president of Afirmación Chile and a Mortensen Award recipient, has helped establish two chapters and several contacts across the country. Now we have identified one particular area in which we believe a small amount of money could go a long way in helping Afirmación Chile: Raising a traveling fund that could help Brus visit contacts and potential groups in various parts of the country. Brus has identified three cities in particular, Concepción, Temuco, and Coquimbo, where there are Affirmation contacts he hasn’t yet been able to meet face to face. Concepción and Temuco are located in the south of Chile, 323 miles and 420 miles, respectively, from Chile’s capital Santiago. Both cities could be visited in a single trip. Coquimbo is located some 291 miles to the north of Santiago. We would like to raise funds to help Afirmación Chile carry out this project. Brus would make those trips by bus. When traveling, Affirmation members typically stay at the homes of other members, so we do not foresee significant expenses other than bus fare in connection with this project. With the exception of helping Brus travel to Mexico to an Affirmation conference, Affirmation in the U.S. has never provided any financial help to Chile. Afirmación Chile has grown with local resources—a work by Chileans and for Chileans. We are proud of what they have accomplished so far and wish them the best in the work and challenges ahead. Tax-deductible donations can be made by check or credit card. Please use this printer-friendly donation form. If you have questions about the Chile Travel Fund, please contact Hugo Salinas. If you have questions about donating to Affirmation, visit www.affirmation.org/support or contact our treasurer Bruce Maughan. To learn more about Afirmación Chile, visit www.afirmacion.cl and http://afirmacionsantiago.blogspot.com.
Affirmation Issues Statement on the May 2008 Ruling of the California Supreme Court “We encourage LDS leaders to find a new focus by preaching and living a Gospel of love and respect toward all peoples and all families” May 30, 2008 Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons commends the California Supreme Court for their decision striking down the denial of marriage equality to same-sex couples. “One of the core elements of the right to establish an officially recognized family that is embodied in the California constitutional right to marry is a couple's right to have their family relationship accorded dignity and respect equal to that accorded other officially recognized families, and assigning a different designation for the family relationship of same-sex couples while reserving the historic designation of 'marriage' exclusively for opposite-sex couples poses at least a serious risk of denying the family relationship of same-sex couples such equal dignity and respect.“Like all Mormons, the members of Affirmation believe strongly in the worth and sanctity of families—all families. We believe that the presence of more committed marriages will strengthen our society rather than weaken it. Like Mormons throughout the world, we believe that our homes can be like a small piece of Heaven, and that every person should have the opportunity to realize their hopes and dreams by being able to marry the person they love. We affirm the worth and dignity of all individuals, straight or gay, as children of a loving Creator. Affirmation members look forward to the day that the LDS Church will be a welcoming place for gay Mormons and their families. It is ironic that a church which in the past has been so persecuted and excluded for practicing an alternative family model (polygamous families), can now be so invested in condemning and making illegal another alternative family model (same-sex couples and their children). But this ruling really isn't about Mormon families. It is not about temple marriage, or any form of religious marriage for that matter. It has nothing to do with doctrine. This is about civil marriage as an institution of the state—a legal institution based on core societal values, such as the worth and dignity of the family unit. Religions are not being asked to marry anyone they don't want to marry. We urge the leaders of the LDS Church to use their energies and their funds not to work to overturn the Court ruling affirming the worth of the family, not to meddle in politics, not to spread fear, or demonize our families, but rather to work with us to counsel and assist individuals and families who have been devastated by the Church’s teachings that have caused family members to reject their children who are gay. We encourage LDS leaders to find a new focus by preaching and living a Gospel of love and respect toward all peoples and all families. Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons W. Olin Thomas III Executive Director David W. Melson Assistant Executive Director James R. Morris Assistant Executive Director Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Dave Melson Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity Send Us Your Submission! AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee. Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy. About AFFINITY AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document. Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important mission. If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request to Hugo Salinas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet access, you may request a printed version that will be sent to you by mail. |
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