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by Olin Thomas In the last several months, Affirmation has been mentioned in many news articles in publications across the country, and the debate around marriage equality has generated an unprecedented level of interest in the opinions of our organization and membership. I, and other Affirmation leaders and members, have been asked to make statements for the press and to participate in radio and television shows. We have tried to respond wisely when writing and speaking about all matters of interest to our members, yet we have received comments which range from accusing us of pandering to Church officials to warning us of being so liberal that we would give fuel to conservative opponents of measures we support. Which view is true? Any view is accurate from where that person is standing, but will not be the view of someone with a different vantage point. In speaking or writing, one must consider one's audience. When Affirmation issues public statements, or our directors give interviews, we are conscious of who is listening or reading our words and what effect we whish them to have. This does not mean we do not support our position and say what we believe, but it means that we have to apply reason more than passion. We are not speaking our personal beliefs, but trying to represent a composite “gay Mormon” view that can be understood by those who are not gay and often not Mormon. But we do this because we want to be heard and understood by those who do not usually hear or understand us. In public statements, we are speaking mostly to the “moveable middle” of the American political spectrum. There are camps on both sides of any issue whose minds are made up and will not easily change. Those people will either love or hate anything you say and will not be swayed. But a small percentage is undecided and will listen and perhaps decide to support one view or the other. These people will not be reached by impassioned speeches, but by insightful reason seasoned with tolerance. Perhaps you are thinking this does not sound like modern American politics at all! Well, you are probably thinking about those who are speaking to their own bases of support and not addressing those who they wish to persuade. There is value in this as well, because your supporters need to be motivated to turn out to vote, to donate time and money, and otherwise support or oppose various measures as well. The type of appeal that is best suited for this approach is a personal one, not an organizational one. Rush Limbaugh, for example, holds no punches when he speaks his views publicly, but you'll notice that elected officials or heads of national political committees will be more restrained. Affirmation members and supporters may not have a national radio talk show, but there are ways for individuals to be heard in our society. One of the oldest parts of our freedom of speech tradition is writing a letter to the editor of a news publication. This is a place where you can let your passion be expressed, to galvanize your allies, or you can select a publication that is read by those mainly on the other side of the issue and attempt to touch them with reason or emotion. In a letter to the editor, you don't have to worry about whether you are expressing others views accurately — you express your own as eloquently as you can. To encourage this type of participation in our democratic process and to remind people of the power of such letters, Affirmation has re-instituted and modified the Affirmation Writing Awards. This year, it is letters to the editor and any other type of persuasive article that is being called for. These are the letters that will change hearts and engage minds, and they are within the ability of each and every one of us to write. Your local newspapers, especially, want to know what you, the local reader thinks! You can find more information about the Writing Awards at www.affirmation.org/awa and we would be glad to advise any serious writers and even to solicit advise from other organizations if warranted, so don't delay — the pen is mightier than the sword!
by Ben Jarvis & Olin Thomas Our Conference Committee has been receiving questions from couples considering the possibility of marrying during the 2008 Affirmation Conference and we wanted to provide some helpful information. Marriage is a very serious commitment and is not something that should be entered into on a whim nor taken lightly; but if you and your partner are in a long-term, committed relationship and have talked about tying the knot, there is now the option of getting married this October in California while you attend the conference in Los Angeles. The hotel is located on the coast at a lovely marina – which can make for a beautiful seaside wedding in presence of our Affirmation family. After a recent California Supreme Court decision, marriage in California is now available to everyone. This means that if you choose to marry while you are in California, you and your partner will be legally bound together and will enjoy all the blessings, benefits, and responsibilities of any other married couple. Please give this matter a lot of thought because once you marry the only way to undo your marriage is through divorce or annulment. While California does not have a residency requirement in order to marry, there is a residency requirement for divorce. Also, if you are not a California resident, it is unclear if other states will recognize these marriages as full and equal to different sex marriages, even if they do not have laws specifically prohibiting such recognition. The Lambda Legal Defense Fund website has useful information about this topic which you should read, if you are considering marriage. Please consult an attorney familiar with the laws of your home state and conduct your own research before making any major decision. This is a very new area of law which will be tested in practice and in court for some time to come. So, if marriage is the best decision for you and your partner, what do you need to do in order to get married in the Golden State? Make plans to arrive on Thursday before the conference starts so that you will have time on Friday to go to the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk’s Office. The closest office to the conference location is at the airport courthouse located at 11701 South La Cienega Boulevard, 6th Floor. This branch office is open from 8:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m, Monday through Friday. You will need photo identification that has your name printed on it exactly as it will appear on the marriage license, and you will need to bring a check or cash in the amount of $70.00. Photo ID such as a drivers license or passport is sufficient. If you would like to have a copy of your marriage certificate mailed to you that is an additional $15. The marriage certificate will be mailed to you from Los Angeles County in three to four weeks. Robert Jacob, a registered minister and a newly-wedded man himself, has graciously agreed to legally marry any couple at the conference that has a valid marriage license. All you need to do is to bring your license and recording forms to the conference. If you would like to have Robert officiate your marriage, please contact him at www.affirmation.org/contact/robert so that he can work out the details with you. You may also call him at 323-851-0607. Please do not call or email him before July 24, when he is scheduled to return from his own honeymoon. For those who do not know, Robert recently married Paul Mortensen, his partner of more than 30 years! For more information on obtaining a marriage license or other frequently asked questions, please visit the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk website at www.lamarriage.lacounty.gov. If you feel that marriage is right for you and your partner, please consider joining the thousands of other couples who are now marrying in California. We have waited far too long to have our loving, committed, relationships given the same protections and benefits that most straight couples take for granted.
by David Nielson This is the sixth in a series of articles featuring the voices of Affirmation. If you are interested in having your voice featured here, please contact Olin Thomas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/ex_dir. Maybe it was being raised by democrats that saved me. I don’t know. I remember, growing up, that evolution was always proven fact in our house, and we looked down at anyone who said the earth was created in six days. My parents taught me to question, and they taught me that looking good on the outside is no substitute for being genuine. They also taught me that no one’s really genuine—but that’s another story. I remember, at almost 14 years old, being the star student in my dad’s geometry class. I remember sitting in that class, staring across the room at the Johnson twins. I remember thinking, for the first time, that I must be gay, and I remember the panic that set in almost immediately: everyone knows homosexuality is a sin. I’m a sin. I carried that with me into my high school seminary class. The seminary teacher worked to create a delicate balance with his students, between believing in the miraculous vision the Joseph Smith experienced, and not expecting miracles for ourselves. I think it worked for most everyone, but not for me. I was almost the same age as Joseph Smith when he had his vision, and if God loved me half as much as he did Joseph Smith, he would have to give me a miracle if I had enough faith, and prayed, and read my scriptures. (Stop rolling your eyes. Thanks.) The First Vision, as the story goes, was immediate, but the Church itself wasn’t organized for another 10 years. Joseph Smith was about the same age I am now, and he organized an impossible church that would eventually become what we know today as “mainstream Mormonism”—a contradiction in terms in the 19th century. (“Gay Mormon” was a contradiction in terms not long ago.) I thought my miracle would be God turning me straight. I waited for that for a long time. It didn’t occur to me that God’s miracle for Brother Joseph wasn’t to tell him which church to join, but to create a solution that he could give to the whole world. When I consider what has already happened—the stories of coming out, of acceptance, and of reconciliation—together with the unprecedented, historic meetings between Church leaders and our community, and the unknown that lies ahead—I have to wonder, “Did I pray this into existence 10 years ago? And if so, what’s my part in it from here?” I don’t know what the future holds, or how we get there. I’m not confident that God is behind any of it, though I don’t think it really matters. As I write this, we are standing at the edge of something, and on the other side is a miracle, bigger than we’ve ever imagined. I’m committed to making that miracle happen, and giving it to the entire world to enjoy. I’m grateful for the people that have been around me for this journey. They have been my Angel Moroni, and I thank you all for your love and support. As an awkward, young adolescent, I woke some of you up in the middle of the night to ask questions I though I needed answered right now. As an awkward, young, post-adolescent, I’ve learned that it’s not about having the answers, as much as it’s about exploring the questions, and enjoying the journey. Especially for Young Adults The time for the youth of Zion to call out and work for respect and equality has come again
In August the Young Adults Committee members will join the Executive Committee at the Sunstone Symposium in Salt Lake City, addressing "The Spirituality of the Rising Generation." To make this and later parts of out program successful—to promote a dialogue about the topics and issues to young LGBTQI Latter-day Saints—we ask you to tell us your stories. No matter how in or out of the closet you are; no matter if you're a True Believing Mormon or never want anything more to do with the church; no matter whether you're gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or anything else: we want to know your stories and to share them with Affirmation, and anyone in the church who will listen. At Conference this October, the Young Adults Committee will present the stories of their own generation, the one that stands to inherit the world shaped by those who founded and have led Affirmation during the last 30 years. This is by and for those who were born after Affirmation's nascent years, though all are welcome to join the discussion. This will formally launch the dialogue about the role today's young adults will have in the future of Affirmation and the ongoing effort for full equality. Later that afternoon the YA Committee invites you to join them at a luncheon especially for young adults. This, in turn, leads to our plans for summer of 2009, when the YA Committee will host a Young Adults Cornerstone Retreat. Join us and connect with other young Saints. Tell us what you hope to get out of a weekend with your peers, and we will do all within out abilities to deliver. We are a generation like no other, coming of age at a time in which we don't need to hold back who we really are. Previous generations of gay people struggled to give us this world of openness and acceptance. Their dream is not yet fully realized, and it is up to us, this rising generation, to do the work for those who will come after us. The time for the youth of Zion to call out and work for respect and equality has come again. We are ready for you to join us. Yours, George Cole, Micah Bisson, David Nielson, Robert Firpo, and Lael Taylor Young Adults Committee Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons A Statement by the Executive Committee of Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons
June 23, 2008 Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons believes that all loving couples should have the right to be together in a committed loving relationship, with the full measure of legal and civil protections that society has long accorded married couples. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is instructing its members to commit their time and money to deny these basic rights and freedoms to gay men and women in California. Olin Thomas, Executive Director of Affirmation, said, "We are deeply dismayed that the Church ignored our request that they not meddle in California politics. This initiative will hurt so many people. Without marriage, a couple who have been together 30 years could be torn apart at the doorway to the emergency room." As Mormons, we believe that respect for civil law and acknowledgment of individual freedoms is sacred. The California law affects civil marriage; it has no effect on any religious institution or religious official. To seek to revoke these basic protections in the name of God denies the fundamental freedoms on which our country was built. Constitutional law has always been about protecting civil and religious freedoms, not the denial of those freedoms. We urge California voters to act in favor of freedom. Vow to Vote No. Executive Committee, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons W. Olin Thomas, III David W. Melson James R. Morris
After Many Years Waiting, Chris and Pat, Paul and Bob Achieve Marriage Equality Hugo Salinas Two longtime Affirmation couples married in California shortly after the California Supreme Court granted marriage equality to gay and couples. Chris Allen and Pat Warnick married on June 22 in Walnut Creek, with about 30 friends and relatives attending. Chris and Pat have known each other for 15 years and have been partners for over 11 years. Chris and Pat wrote: “We are very grateful to all the Affirmation members who have provided loving support to us throughout our ‘engagement.’ Can you all believe how far we’ve come?” With some 20 relatives friends in attendance, Affirmation co-founder Paul Mortensen and his partner Robert Jacob married on June 21 in West Hollywood. West Hollywood city council member Abbey Lane conducted the ceremony. Paul and Robert have been partners for 30 years. “I know of other couples in Affirmation getting married in California, but they are waiting a few weeks to have a big wedding and reception,” wrote Paul. “We wanted to do it right away because we are leaving to go to Europe for a few weeks and we want to tour Europe as a legal married couple. And that is a pretty neat honeymoon.” “Most of you know that California has a ballot initiative on the November election to repeal marriage equality, but we really believe it can and will be defeated,” he added. “I would also like to ask that everyone who can contribute against this ballot measure do so by supporting Equality California. You can contribute online at their web site: www.eqca.org.” “Thank you all for your support of Robert and myself over the years in Affirmation. And thank you all for your support of our marriage and for others that will follow.”
Bob McCue will be the keynote speaker at the annual conference to be held October 10-12 in Los Angeles. Bob is a post-Mormon of pioneer stock on both sides of his family. He is a tax attorney, practicing as a partner with one of Canada's national law firms. He holds a BA in Russian with a religious studies minor, as well as MBA and LLB degrees. He and his wife Juli have seven children and two grandchildren. Until about six years ago, Bob was a faithful Mormon, having served the LDS community in many capacities, including a five-year stint as bishop from ages 31 through 36. Almost exactly six years ago, Bob’s religious perspective went through a profound change as a result of beginning to study Mormonism as scholars see it instead of as it is taught by Mormon leaders. He resigned his Mormon membership shortly thereafter and has spent the last six years reinventing himself. “The path I have chosen is mostly scientific or naturalistic,” says Bob, “and works for me. Others ways no doubt better suit other people. The more we hear the most authentic voices, the more likely we are to recognize our own authenticity as it emerges.” Likely because of his background as a professional researcher and writer and his somewhat obsessive personally, Bob's mode of exploring his new world was largely analytical. This resulted in his doing a large amount of writing, some of which has ended up on various websites, including his personal website. His reading and writing gradually evolved away from Mormon topics and toward social psychology and neurology. He came to understand what he was doing largely in terms of re-wiring his brain – a biological process that takes a lot of time and effort instead of being a simple decision. Bob believes that we are much more, and have much more potential, than we can now dream. Becoming able to understand what we are, and not fear ourselves, is perhaps our greatest challenge. “We are, literally, making this up as we go,” says Bob, “including how it will all hang together so that future human generations will enjoy more opportunity than we have. This has been called the path from ‘Thou Shalt’ to ‘I will.’” Says Bob: “Finding authenticity is not an event, but a life-long process of emerging from ourselves as the music around and within us changes, and we continue to seek resonance. Far from discouraging, this realization brings with it the realistic hope that we will many times experience the miracle of rebirth. This process is terrifying at times, and it is exhilarating.”
The 2008 Affirmation Conference will conclude with a guided tour of the Queen Mary, a renowned ocean liner which has been converted into a historic hotel and a floating museum. Now permanently berthed in Long Beach, the Queen Mary sailed the North Atlantic Ocean from 1936 to 1967. Today, the ship is an internationally recognized icon for the City of Long Beach. Transportation to Long Beach Affirmation will not provide transportation for this tour. Instead, we will meet at the hotel lobby on Sunday, October 12, no later than 1:30 pm. and we will carpool from the hotel to Long Beach (approximately a 21 minute ride). The official tour will finish at 3:30 pm, after which carpooling groups are free to explore Long Beach or return to the hotel. Costs & Parking If you are planning to take this tour, please add $18 to your conference registration as indicated in the registration form. Early registration is encouraged. Since this is a special guided tour, we may not be able to accommodate those who register after August 29. The cost of parking by the Queen Mary is: $3.00 for 31 minutes to 1 hour, and $12.00 for one hour to 12 hours. Carpooling from the conference hotel and sharing parking costs is strongly encouraged. Notice for Wheelchair Users If you use a wheelchair, please make note of it on the back of the registration form. Unfortunately, some areas of the Queen Mary maintain the original narrow corridors and therefore some sections of this tour will be closed to wheelchair users. Useful Links 
Official Site
Queen Mary History
Parking Rates
Map & directions from the hotel to the Queen Mary
They Will Meet with Local Chapter, Present at Sunstone Symposium Dave Melson Is the LDS Church relevant to the world of the rising generation of students and young professionals? A group of Affirmation leaders will be speaking and conducting a panel discussion at the Sunstone Symposium being held in Salt Lake City this August. The theme of the symposium is “The Spirituality of the Rising Generation,” focusing on ways in which the challenges and interests of today’s high school and college students and young professionals differ from those of past generations. What issues animate their spiritual lives? How well does today’s LDS church meet the realities and the needs of this rising generation? The group from Affirmation will be speaking specifically to the topic of “The Expression of Spirituality of the Rising Gay Generation.” Their presentation is scheduled for Saturday morning, August 9. We are planning to meet on the same weekend with local Affirmation leaders and members. Please stay tuned for more information on opportunities to meet with us. This presentation is particularly timely coming just two days before the planned historic meeting between leaders of Affirmation and representatives of the LDS church. That event will take place on Monday, August 11, also in Salt Lake City. The weekend will also include the final scheduled meeting of the Affirmation Executive Committee prior to the Annual Conference in Los Angeles this October. Tickets and registration material for the 2008 Salt Lake Sunstone Symposium are available at www.sunstonemagazine.com/symposium.html. You may register for the entire symposium or for a single day, and students with a valid ID may attend many sessions at no cost. Additional information is available on the Sunstone website. You may call the Sunstone office and request a printed program that will be mailed to you. The Symposium will take place at the Sheraton Salt Lake City Hotel; special room rates are available for conference attendees. Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Dave Melson Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity Send Us Your Submission! AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee. Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy. About AFFINITY AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document. Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important mission. If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request to Hugo Salinas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet access, you may request a printed version that will be sent to you by mail. |
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