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A Conversation with Carlos Mitchell, from the LA Conference Planning Committee This is the seventh in a series of articles featuring the voices of Affirmation. If you are interested in having your voice featured here, please contact Olin Thomas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/ex_dir. When and how did you first get involved with Affirmation? I got involved with Affirmation in March 1999. When I first came out in 1998, I researched, via the Internet, all the resources available for gay Mormons. I found Affirmation’s website and called the number listed. I was put in contact with Bill and Joan Atkinson from Family Fellowship and PFLAG, as they lived the closest to me. The Atkinsons invited me to a PFLAG meeting, and the next week I attended my first AFFIRMATION meeting. From there, I’ve gone to almost every local Affirmation event and/or meeting since. When and where did you attend your first Affirmation conference? My first conference was the 2001 conference in Long Beach, CA. Even though I had known of prior conferences, I had been unable to attend, due to finances. With some help from Affirmation and some of its members, I’ve been able to attend every conference since then. What is your best memory from a past conference? My best memory is from my first conference in 2001. It’s not just one memory, but the feelings I felt from it. There, I got to meet other LGBTI Mormons who were more like me. It felt great to, finally, know that I wasn’t the only disabled, Latino, or 20-something LGBT Mormon. Also, having not attended a Church function since 1994, it was great to feel the Spirit amongst people who believe in unconditional love and who knew where you were coming from, spiritually. Have you made durable friendships? Yes, I have made durable friendships from people I’ve first met at conference. In many ways, many have become my family. I keep in contact with some of them on a weekly or daily basis. In many ways, despite distances, they’re as close to me as some of my local friends. What makes the LA conference different from previous conferences? What makes the L.A. conference different from others is the experience of its committee. As we are the founding chapter of Affirmation, we bring to the conference years of knowledge and experience and pass it on to our attendees. Plus, L.A. is one of the most LGBTI-friendly destinations in the world. With support from every level of government from the state on down, you’ll find that support is shown through its diverse population. Also, we’re one of 2 states where you can get married! What would you say to someone who is considering, but not yet committed, to attend the LA event? This conference is one NOT to miss! We’ve got speakers and workshops that cover everything from dealing with the Church when you come out to financial stability through a spiritual perspective (a timely subject in this time of financial recession). We’ve got events for women, Gamofites, young adults, and everything in between. We’ve got something for everyone! Plus, you’ll find that the Spirit is truly felt at the Conference. At a time where we face opposition from the Church for being who we are, it’s great to all be in a place where you can be who you truly are: LGBTI and LDS!
“This is our chance to express our thoughts and feelings in support of gays within the LDS Church, and of same-sex marriage within the U.S. and abroad” Letters to the editor published in Utah’s newspapers and grassroots LDS groups organized via the Internet indicate that not all Mormons are happy with the First Presidency’s directive to “do all you can” against marriage equality. In the last six weeks, three groups of Latter-day Saints who support marriage equality have launched projects to help raise awareness and make their voices heard.
There are many ways to help preserve marriage equality in California. Equality California, www.eqca.org, is a major California organization which you can support with your energy and your money. There are also several churches, including the United Church of Christ and the Metropolitan Community Church, which have a history of working for marriage equality. Despite the apocalyptic rhetoric that church leaders sometimes use regarding the issue of same-sex marriage, there are Mormons who realize that marriage equality is really a civil issue and are willing to cast their vote in support of preserving, rather than denying, the right to marry. In the words of the creators of Mormons for Marriage, “This is our chance, in our day, to express our thoughts and feelings (respectfully) in support of gays within the LDS Church, and of same-sex marriage within the U.S. (and abroad).”
Affirmation: “We deeply regret the Church’s decision to put the dialogue between us on hold” Less than twenty days before a scheduled historic meeting between representatives of the leadership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and leaders of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, the LDS Church has backed out. In a letter addressed to David Melson, Assistant Executive Director of Affirmation, Fred M. Riley, one of two people designated by LDS Church President Thomas Monson to represent the Church, stated that, “after much consideration, we have determined that it would be best to postpone our anticipated meeting on August 11.” Riley cited his recent acceptance of “a new assignment with the LDS church” as the reason for the postponement. A staff person at LDS Family Services told Affirmation that the meeting would be rescheduled after a new Family Services Commissioner is named in three to six months. “We deeply regret the Church’s decision to put the dialogue between us on hold,” said Melson. “We wish Fred Riley well in his new position, and we hope that the Church’s decision is not related to the current political activity in California or to any lack of commitment on the part of the First Presidency to making the LDS Church a safe space for all of its members.” The LDS Church is currently instructing its members to fight for passage of an amendment to the California Constitution (Proposition 8) which would define marriage as being between one man and one woman, ending the civil marriage equality that Californians now enjoy. Mormons in California are being instructed by Church leaders to give both time and financial contributions to the campaign. Affirmation had offered an invitation to meet and to discuss issues on which the two groups could work together to Thomas S. Monson, President of the 13-million member church, shortly after Monson took office in February of this year. Monson accepted Affirmation’s invitation in early March and instructed Fred Riley and Harold Brown to meet with the top leaders of Affirmation. “Gay & lesbian members of the Church want a constructive dialogue with the Church leadership and have waited many years for this opportunity," noted Affirmation Executive Director Olin Thomas. “We hope that President Monson will either designate a General Authority of the Church to meet with us on August 11, or that he will offer to quickly reschedule the meeting.” Hundreds of families are broken each year, and many hundreds more are driven away from the Church when a family member comes out as being gay. The discomfort and the guilt that the non-gay family members feel in LDS settings can be every bit as severe as for the gay family member. This is a problem on which Affirmation’s leaders feel that they can work with Church leaders to everyone’s benefit. As the attitudes of society have become more accepting of a greater diversity of people and ideas, the process of “coming out” as gay has become less traumatic and tends to occur at an earlier age. Couple this with the LDS Church’s official view (expressed on www.lds.org) that simply being gay is no longer considered a sin and should not bar anyone from holding a calling in the Church, and a change is being seen among gay LDS members. “Increasingly, gay people in their teens and twenties want to be able to be able to live their lives as both Mormon and gay, and are not willing to compromise or to be forced to choose between their faith and their biological make up,” said Affirmation Young Adult Director George Cole. In a personal letter to Monson, the Affirmation delegation invited Monson or any other General Authority of the Church to meet with them while they are in Salt Lake City on August 11. The letter was signed by Executive Director Olin Thomas of Virginia, Assistant Executive Director David Melson of Maryland, and Young Adult Director George Cole of California.
Gary and Millie Watts, Michael Quinn, and Bill, Joyce, and Colleen are among the presenters to be featured Saturday morning during the 2008 Affirmation Conference to be held in Los Angeles. Always a popular speaker and a “Dad and Mom” of Affirmation, Gary and Millie Watts will talk about the state of Family Fellowship. What it is like to be openly supportive of their gay children, and indeed, supportive of all gay people living in Provo, UT, the most politically conservative area in the United States? Renowned Mormon historian D. Michael Quinn will give a presentation entitled, “A Mormon Memory Walk Down Gay-Lesbian Lane.” George Cole, a Affirmation Young Adults leader, will present his topic, “A Choice Generation: Understanding the Outlooks and Needs of Young Queer Mormons.” Rod Kempton, a coach and success strategist, will discuss the process by which people make decisions. When Bill and Joyce, an active Mormon couple, were confronted with the reality that their married daughter is a lesbian who has had enough and is coming out, they had to reevaluate the role of the church in their lives. It is hard to walk away from a religion that you love, but when you love your daughter more, the decision is clear. Other speakers include longtime Affirmation member John Giardina and former Evergreen member and leader Russ Gorringe. Three Different Groups to Hold Special Luncheons during Conference Three different Affirmation groups are planning special luncheons for the 2008 Affirmation conference:
Joan Atkinson, James Kent, and Ben Jarvis are scheduled to be the speakers during the Los Angeles Conference Sunday morning devotional. Joan raised a family in the LDS Church and recently completed a mission to New Zealand with her husband. As the unofficial “Mom” to the Los Angeles Chapter of Affirmation, she provides a much needed bridge between the active LDS community and the Gay Mormon world. Two of her children, a son and a daughter, are gay. James Kent will handle the memorial portion of the devotional. “My comments will focus on being of good cheer,” says Ben Jarvis, “being thankful for our current blessings and being a positive force in the world around us, even as we fight like heck against upcoming ballot measures that would strip us of our civil rights.” “This is not a time to be timid nor is it the time to shun the fight. We've been shown our so-called weaknesses, and in true Book of Mormon fashion, we've turned those ‘weaknesses’ into strengths.” LA Conference to Feature “The Gay Mafia” The Gay Mafia, an LA-based improvisational/comedy group, will provide the Saturday evening entertainment during the 2008 Affirmation Conference. Since 2002, The Gay Mafia has given over 230 performances and performed sketch and improv comedy in venues across the country, including the LA Convention Center, Highways Performance Space, the Renberg Theater, the Tamarind Theater, the Ice House, and the Second City Theater. The Mafia defied censorship at Club 66 by performing a banned sketch to huge audience support. They have performed private gigs for gay organizations such as Great Outdoors Los Angeles, Women On A Roll, Transgender Unity, and Out at Warner Brothers. They have appeared on Harrison on the Edge, IMRU, the John McMullen and the Frank DeCaro national radio talk shows (on Sirius Satellite Radio), QTV’s Morning Brunch Show, and Margaret Cho’s Sensuous Woman Show. The Gay Mafia appeared frequently at the Grounds in West Hollywood. Margaret Cho and many other stand-up comics performed with them. Kurt Hall and Diana Yanez of The Gay Mafia toured with Margaret Cho, performing as Lisp and Havana, Margaret’s opening act. To learn more about this hilarious group, visit their site at www.thegaymafia.net. Call for Nominations for the 2008 Mortensen Award The Deadline is September 13 It is time once again to call for nominations for Affirmation's highest honor, the Mortensen Award. The award is presented each year at our annual conference to an individual who has served Affirmation in outstanding leadership and service during the past year. The criteria for selecting a nominee should be:
Do not submit just a name. We need to know something about the individual since the committee may not know him/her well. The nominations must be received by September 13, 2008--no exceptions! E-mail them to Ricky Gilbert, chair of Mortensen Awards Committee. Please do not send copies to anyone else. Or mail them to the National Post Office Box: AffirmationThe award recipient will be announced at the Affirmation Conference in Los Angeles on October 11, 2008. The selection committee is made up of past recipients of the award. Be sure to show this letter to everyone in your area. You may be the one who should be nominated and you may not want to nominate yourself. Please note that a past recipient of the award can be nominated again for this year's Mortensen Award recipient. If you have any questions, contact Ricky Gilbert. We look forward to seeing you at the L.A. conference, which is certainly going to be a great event. Please start thinking about this award today and get your nomination in tomorrow.
Four More Weeks til Writing Awards Deadline Deadline Is September 2 You have until September 2 to send entries to the Affirmation Writing Awards. Because of this year’s new format, we encourage you to consider right away taking the preliminary steps of getting a letter to the editor or editorial published in a newspaper or magazine. The recent decision by the First Presidency to oppose marriage equality in California is an example of a topic which is generating a lot of attention—especially in the Intermountain West and California. We encourage Affirmation members and friends to speak up for justice and equality in this and other issues affecting the GLBT community. A full description of the contest is posted at www.affirmation.org/awa.
Event will be held August 10 at 5:00 PM In a meeting to be held jointly with Reconciliation, two members of the executive committee of Affirmation, plus other national leaders, will meet with members of the Salt Lake Chapter, Reconciliation, friends, and allies, for a discussion of Affirmation goals and tactics. Even though LDS Family Services has canceled a meeting with them, which was supposed to follow this meeting, the nature of this meeting will not change. Bring your ideas on how Affirmation can serve its members, be an influence for good in the world, and better engage with the LDS Church and its leaders. The event will be held Sunday, August 10,at the Metropolitan Community Church, 823 South 600 East. Affirmation friends and allies are invited to join us for the discussion. Affirmation's Charter states that "it is our intention to work for the understanding and acceptance of gays and lesbians as full, equal and worthy persons within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints." The Charter also proclaims that Affirmation is organized to "provide a forum for communication and education for members and leaders of the Church and our peers concerning homosexuality." There are many ways to achieve these goals, but none more obvious than direct discussions between leaders in the two organizations. On August 11, leaders of Affirmation were supposed to meet with LDS officials in an event that Church officials have recently put off. Though this is surely just a potential first step in a long journey, news of the meeting has sparked great controversy in both the gay and Mormon communities. Are these voices the fringe elements, or do they represent the average member? Do you think such a meeting can lead to positive, long-term discussion and greater understanding, or do you believe it is a fruitless or even disrespectful endeavor? Join Affirmation and Reconciliation members, including Affirmation Executive Director Olin Thomas and Senior Assistant Director David Melson, for a thoughtful discussion on our goals, tactics, and hopes for the future. During the same visit to Salt Lake City and on the same weekend, members of the Executive Committee, along with other national Affirmation leaders, will participate in the Sunstone symposium and present a panel discussion. Gay Mormons Meet in Brazil They discuss what role Affirmation can play in helping gay Mormons by Lucio Bezerra Ten Brazilian gay Mormons attended the Affirmation conference I organized March 8-9 in Brazil. The two-day event took place in Tinguá, near Rio de Janeiro. Among other topics, we discussed the issue of marriage equality, discrimination issues, and the problem of lack of understanding by the Church towards GLBT people. We discussed what role Affirmation can play in helping gay Mormons. We also socialized and had a nice dinner in a nearby restaurant. Many still know very little about Affirmation. While some believe we are a gay group like any other, others fear we are an arm of the LDS Church. By means of the Portuguese website, we’re trying to educate people about Affirmation. There’s a lot of work to do in showing people how serious and important our work is. We would like to have another meeting and make plans for the future. We noticed that many of our lesbian sisters and gay brothers are attending gay-friendly churches. There are many who no longer believe in the scriptures or the LDS Church, and we don’t know exactly how to help them out. During the conference, some said they hope for the day when they can use their priesthood again. They miss the Church and they don’t know whether they should go on missions or come out to their parents. There’s a lot of work to do here in Brazil. Thanks to Affirmation International for having supported this event. It’s good to know that we’re a worldwide family. Blessings, Your friends in Affirmation Brazil Affirmation Member Witnesses Hate, Homophobia Angelo Berbotto Attended London Service Featuring Gay Bishop Gene Robinson
Angelo Berbotto, an Affirmation member residing in London, witnessed first-hand the hate that some people feel for Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop of the Episcopal Church. Gene Robinson was forced to halt his sermon at St Mary's Church in Putney, south-west London, after being heckled. Angelo, who was sitting six feet away from the heckler, witnesses the whole incident. “It was frightening for a while,” says Angelo. “I thought the guy was going to hit someone with his helmet.” Despite the incident, Angelo felt the service was very inspiring. Resuming his sermon shortly after the interruption, Bishop Robinson said: “This discussion of homosexuality we are having in the church is not so significant because of what it says about homosexuality, but because of what it says about God.... When someone stands up and says homosexuality is an abomination, does that make you want to get to know God?” Asked if any of the bishops attending were gay but not open about it, Robinson said: “Absolutely.” He added: “I do not think that there is a person around and breathing that believes that I'm the first gay bishop, just the first talking honestly about it.” Many Affirmation members met Bishop Robinson when he was one of the keynote speakers at the Affirmation Conference held October 2007 in Washington DC. “God loves the fact that you are gay, loves your relationships,” Bishop Robinson told Affirmation members on that occasion. “Your mission is for the whole world,” he added, “to witness to a God who has loved you and accepted you and helped you to be who you are.” Read Angelo's full account at http://www.affirmation.org/voices/bishop_robinson.shtml. Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Dave Melson Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity Send Us Your Submission! AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee. Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy. About AFFINITY AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document. Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important mission. If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request to Hugo Salinas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet access, you may request a printed version that will be sent to you by mail. |
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