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Returning Part of What We Have Received “Affirmation put special people on my path who helped me grow as a young gay Mormon and who helped me understand and accept that I am OK as I am”
April 2007 Angelo is the former coordinator of Sydney Gay Mormons and lives in Italy. This is the fourth in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation. I was born in a small town in Uruguay. I became a member when the missionaries first arrived to my town, when I was 16. My family eventually moved to Montevideo, where my siblings also joined the church. I served a mission in Resistencia, Argentina, from 1993-95. I was aware of my sexual orientation before joining the church, but at that time I was not prepared to come out of the closet. It just was not a choice — there were no role models, and being homosexual was pretty much unacceptable by society. I went on a mission hoping that a miracle would take place, but it didn't. So three months after returning from my mission, I resigned from my church callings, packed all my garments away, stopped using my first name and started using my middle name — that's how far I had to go to mark the end of one stage and the beginning of another and start living my life as myself. At that time I was studying translation and had access to an American library in Uruguay. I couldn't believe I was alone. Surely there was some sort of organisation for gay Mormons in the US. I did some research and found the details about Affirmation listed in a book with all the NGOs of the US. I wrote to Affirmation in June 1996, and I was delighted to get a reply soon after. At that time I was desperate to talk to someone who could understand my experience and who could help me reconcile my faith and myself. That was the period before e-mail, so I patiently wrote letters to different contacts of Affirmation worldwide, asking if anyone would care to be my pen-pal. That is how I met John, who was then the Australian contact for Affirmation. Little did I know that those letters would lead to him eventually becoming my partner for the next six years and my life-long friend. For a while after coming out, I felt that the Church's position was so antagonistic to myself and others like me that I decided to move on and not think about it. After all, I had a gay Mormon partner I could talk about my spirituality if I needed to. By 2004 I had already done work on myself and the issues of being a gay returned missionary. So I decided to reach out to others who might need the support and help of someone who could understand. I placed an ad in the gay press, and people started to contact me. We would get together once a month and discuss a topic, watch a movie, play games, etc. At the beginning we were four or five; by the time I moved to London in May 2005, there were a few more. I am a lawyer; at the moment I am in Rome doing research on same-sex parenting in the Italian legal context. I am involved in different GLBT organisations in Rome and my experience in Affirmation is turning out to be valuable here, where the Catholic Church is so powerful and intrusive in people's lives. Previously, I was working in London, where I had the chance to meet 4 other gay Mormons. I have been contacted only once here in Italy by a gay LDS. However, I have met a couple of gay Catholic priests… Affirmation changed my life because I was deeply committed to the Church and thought my life could not exist without it. Affirmation put special people on my path who helped me grow as a young gay Mormon and who helped me understand and accept that I am OK as I am. I am just trying to return part of what I have received. Grazie, Angelo Berbotto Rome - Italy
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www.affirmation.org