Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Fabio Antonio (right) with partner Leandro

A Faith That Came Back to My Life

By Fabio Antonio
July 2007

Fabio is a returned missionary and lives in São Paulo, Brazil, with his partner Leandro. This is the fifth in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation.

My name is Fabio, and I am 24 years old. My English is not so good, but I think it is good enough for you to understand me.

I have been a member of the Church all my life. After coming back from my mission, I decided to embrace my true self and accept the fact that I am gay. In the eyes of the Church, I had taken a dark path, and Church leaders excommunicated me. That made me angry and sad: I had been a good person all my life, followed the commandments, kept the Word of Wisdom, etc. I felt lost and thought that God didn't love me anymore. Like the Prodigal Son traveling into a distant country, I started to drink coffee, to smoke, and I even took drugs. That lasted for two years.

In 2005 I met Leandro, my current boyfriend. I tell everyone he is my husband. He gave a new rhythm to my life. Even though I love him with all my heart, I still felt that my spiritual life has been empty and my prayers vain. Then one month ago I heard of a Church for GLB people called Igreja Para Todos (“A Church for Everybody”). At Igreja Para Todos, I feel special again. Yet I think it would have been better if I had been allowed to continue to participate in the LDS Church, with the principles I have learned since I was a child.

I have made many mistakes, but I know that I am a good person. The faith that the Church took away is now coming back to my life. I know God loves us. With clean hands and pure hearts, we will return to our eternal home.