Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Hank Carlson: A Grassroot Hero

August 2006

We regret to announce the passing of our friend and ally Harold Ford Hank Carlson, who died of serious injuries he suffered in a car accident as he was coming back to Utah from Boise with his wife Alice.

Hank and Alice Carlson were the founders of the Salt Lake City PFLAG Chapter. Alice had a lung injury and broken shoulder or arm. Our prayers are with the Carlson family, especially for Alice's recovery. We honor Hank and his legacy.

The following reamarks were given by Dr. Gary Watts at a memorial service held at the South Valley Unitarian Church on Sunday, August 13, 2006.

Hank Carlson was my friend and ally. He was not a big man in physical stature but I never thought of him as vulnerable to mortality. In the thirteen years I had known him he didn’t seem to age and seemed, to me at least, impervious to so many of the aches and pains and certain indignities that accrue to us during the aging process. He always seemed mentally and physically sharp. It is almost inconceivable to me that an automobile accident could actually take his life.

One cannot think of Hank without thinking of Alice. To me, they were like Bogey and Bacall. We met Hank and Alice for the first time in 1993, when Millie and I noted an announcement in the Salt Lake Tribune inviting all that were interested in starting a PFLAG chapter to meet at the South Valley Unitarian Church on a Sunday evening in the late fall.

For those who may be unfamiliar with PFLAG it is an acronym for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Hank and Alice had become aware of the organization because their lesbian daughter had told them about the organization and had encouraged them to join. Finding that no chapter existed in Salt Lake City, they took it upon themselves to start a local chapter.

Attending that first meeting was an eclectic group of individuals that shared a common goal best articulated by PFLAG’s vision statement, which Hank subsequently read at almost all of the early PFLAG meetings:

We, the parents, families and friends of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered persons, celebrate diversity and envision a society that embraces everyone, including those of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. Only with respect, dignity and equality for all will we reach our full potential as human beings, individually and collectively.

Hank and Alice truly did envision a society that embraced everyone, that enfranchised, not disenfranchised. They agreed to chair our newly founded chapter and were the lifeblood of that chapter during its formative years. Many here today, will remember the controversy that erupted in 1995 over the formation of a gay-straight alliance club that was organized by Kelli Peterson and others at East High School. Many people were opposed to the “gay club.” Many of you will remember the ugly rhetoric that ensued, fueled by right-wing legislators and parents who were willing to outlaw all extracurricular clubs in the school when they learned that federal law would not allow them to ban only the offensive club.

Hank, Alice and the South Valley Unitarian Church stood tall during that controversy as voices of reason. This church actually declared itself a “hate free zone” and held a service attended by several hundred people to show support for the right of gay students to have their club.

Participation in that chapter with Hank and Alice was truly a bonding experience for us. It is interesting how parents of gay children bond. We participated with Hank and Alice on various panels dealing with gay rights, marched with them in our first Pride Parade, and saw our little PFLAG chapter grow to such a presence that we were selected to host the PFLAG national conference in 2005.

To me, Hank and Alice Carlson are grassroot heroes. Our nation was founded and strengthened by the courage and determination of such grass root heroes, men and women whose caring and good hearts, recognize injustice and work tirelessly to make our society a more decent society.

I’m reminded of a letter written by Martin Luther King at the height of the civil rights movement while imprisoned in the Birmingham jail:

I must confess…I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s greatest stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the . . . . . Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to “order” than to justice . . . who constantly says, “I agree with you in the goal you seek . . . but advises the Negro to wait until “a more convenient season” . . .and paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom. Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.

Hank and Alice were not “white moderates” who were “more concerned with order than justice.” They have been unwilling to wait for “a more convenient season” and have played an important role in educating our citizenry and shortening the timetable for full and equal rights for our GLBT friends.