Allies Memorial     

Mark Bryner, on his 80th birthday, surrounded by members of the SLC East High Gay-Straight Alliance

On Sunday, June 16, 2002, friends and family members gathered to remember the life of Mark Bryner, advocate for the gay and lesbian community. Mark was born on May 11, 1920. He married his wife of 60 years in the Salt Lake Temple in 1943 and remained active in the church until his death on May 22.

Mark and Grace had three children, including a gay son, Michael, who died in 1998 from complications related to AIDS. Michael was, in his life, a healer and one of the first to incorporate mind/body/spirit work in his practice. He was a teacher to many in the social work community.

Father and son never saw eye to eye about Michael’s work, and it was not until his funeral that Mark really understood who his son was and how many lives he’d touched. Natalie Clausen, a family friend, remembers how after Michael’s funeral, Michael’s friends met in a circle to honor him. They invited Mark to join. Upon realizing how much of Michael’s life he had missed out on, Mark committed himself to “walk in my sons footsteps.” He became passionate about social justice issues for gay and lesbian people.

The spring that Michael died, students at East High were becoming vocal about their desire to be formally recognized as a gay/straight alliance (GSA). Their actions set off a firestorm of debate over the rights of gay and lesbian people in Utah’s public schools.

Mark, heartbroken over the loss of his son, somehow made his way to East High. There he wasted no time assessing the needs of the students and set about providing resources (money, information, furniture, transportation, a place to live) to the GSA and the individual students in it.

Mark faithfully attended the students’ weekly meetings, always bringing milk and donuts, and became their advocate and friend. Sometimes this meant waking a student up in the morning to get him/her to school or attending parent/teacher conference. He soon became known as the “GSA Grandpa.” Camille Lee, then advisor to the GSA, recalling one student in particular, comments that without Mark, “there is no way she would have made it out of high school.”

In addition to getting involved at East High, Mark became active in P-FLAG, Family Fellowship, GLSEN, and the Utah Coalition for Safe Schools. He told Camille, “I don’t have very many years left in my life, and this is how I want to spend them.” He worked tenaciously, not only to care for “the one” but also to affect institutional change.

Doug Wortham, former Chair of GLSEN, worked with Mark to organize GLSEN Day at the legislature. He noted that Mark seemed unafraid to take on any authority or hierarchy. He heard Mark say many times, “I am a citizen and I know how these people think.” This conviction was manifest in his constant willingness to take on whatever problem arose. At the time of his death, Mark was working with LDS seminary and church officials on the appropriateness of information being transmitted to students about the gay and lesbian experience.

Mark has been described as a gentle bulldog. He refused to take no for an answer--for example, when requesting a meeting with officials (legislators, school board and district members, etc.). He talked with everyone he could about equality for gay and lesbian people and was particularly concerned about their emotional and physical safety in public settings.

Mark was unrelenting in his presence and went wherever this work took him, including the courtroom. He attended hearings concerning the legality of Salt Lake School District’s decision to ban all clubs and worked closely with the family of a lesbian student who was assaulted by a male student, to ensure that justice and accountability were achieved.

The morning of his death, Mark met with the Principal of East High to discuss Title IX, the federal law that prohibits discrimination in education. Mark wanted to be sure that gay and lesbian students received the protection they were entitled to.

At the Fathers Day memorial gathering for Mark, John Apel, Michael’s partner of 91/2 years, said, “I am gay, and I have never done the kind of work that Mark has done.” Sadly, Mark’s obituary mentioned nothing of his important work for gay and lesbian people. His legacy as a tireless supporter, community organizer, and activist lives on in the memories of all those whose lives he touched.