As gay and lesbian Mormons, we have a special interest in the recent Hawaii court decision recognizing the right of same-gender couples to marry. After all, our religion teaches that every person must be married to return to God and achieve the highest level of heaven. Yet the leadership of the Mormon church has taken the lead in opposing marriage for gays and lesbians. The result of this policy is to condemn the church’s gay and lesbian members for not being married while also condemning us when we seek to marry. This kind of hypocrisy is not only unjustified; it’s simply unfair.

The church leadership has issued a statement responding to the Hawaii decision with disappointing predictability. Rather than face up to its own prejudices, it makes dire warnings that to approve same-gender marriage is "to lay an ax to the root of civilization's well-being and disqualify society from the blessings, stability and happiness promised by our Creator." Affirmation can only wonder what the fuss is all about. Opposing same-gender marriage won’t make any of us heterosexual. Instead, it will only deprive us of the opportunity to have the kind of stable families we can and should have. Nor is our desire to be treated fairly the cause of all the evils and problems of our society. Affirmation is confident that fair-minded people will see through this smokescreen and recognize the church’s opposition for what it is: an irrational prejudice based not in facts but in ignorance. Families are not failing in America because gays and lesbians want to marry. Troubled families have serious problems demanding serious solutions. But no solution should be acceptable that requires a legal attack on one kind of family to bolster another kind of family that is ailing. Pinning the problems of families on those who seek the rights and responsibilities of marriage is nothing short of rank scapegoating.

As for the church’s "the sky is falling" rhetoric, Affirmation can only say that the church leadership has a very short memory indeed. It was not so long ago that the then official church newspaper, The Millennial Star, declared, "The one-wife system not only degenerates the human family, both physically and intellectually, but it is entirely incompatible with philosophical notions of immortality; it is a lure to temptation, and has always proved a curse to a people" (Vol. 15, p. 227). Remarkably, the church today not only endorses the one-wife system it so vigorously opposed, it uses that system to attack its gay and lesbian members. Affirmation hopes that rather than continuing to issue such unwarranted condemnations, the church will begin to listen to the voices of its members who only seek the blessings and happiness that heterosexual members have. Equal marriage rights are a firm first step in that direction.