Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Affirmation DC Members Come Out to Their Wards
They Bear a Gay Mormon Testimony in Sacrament Meeting

Hugo Salinas
July 2006

9:30 AM: Sam and David at Washington DC Third Ward

On Sunday, June 4, two members, Sam Wolfe and David Melson, accepted the challenge from the Seattle Chapter leader, Eduk, (Affinity, April, 2006) and came out to their wards during Fast and Testimony Meeting.

Although Sunday dawned as a spectacularly beautiful day in the nation's capital, no one knew exactly what to expect from this most unusual kick-off to Capital Pride Month, but everyone involved was prepared for the worst. The Washington, D.C., Third Ward met at 9:30 in the morning with the sanctuary packed; there were chairs set up in the aisles, the hallway, and the foyer, and there were still people that ended up having to stand on the front steps and the sidewalk. Part of the crowd was there because this was the last Sunday for the Bishop, who was leaving to serve as a mission president. Part of the crowd was because of some extra visitors.

After Sacrament and ward business (which included the reading of a letter from the First Presidency regarding the proposed constitutional amendment prohibiting same-gender marriage rights that was due for Senate debate that week), Sam stood before his home ward and bore a beautiful testimony of the Savior as our Advocate. He reflected on the comments made a couple of Sundays earlier, when a high counselor had spoken about everyone being welcome. "But some of us are not so sure that we are welcome here or belong here because of who we are; because of who we love; because we are different in one way. I am different in this way. I am gay. And I am thankful to God for this difference that has been a great blessing in my life. And I would like to say that I am thankful and have the greatest admiration, respect, and love for the countless gay and lesbian Mormon missionaries, who like me, have served, or are serving, out of selfless love for others and because of their belief in the potential of every person to progress toward greater understanding, light, and knowledge of God and reach for a happy and full life. This is a beautiful service by these missionaries. And I am profoundly thankful for my mission."

The feeling of every heart in the room skipping a beat was almost palpable, but it was quickly followed by nods of approval and a great sense of peace and love, until a member of the bishopric stood to remind the congregation of the Church's stand against any form of same-gender sexual relations.

Sam was followed shortly by Dave, who bore his testimony of the gospel and of the blessings of being a gay man.

Before dismissing from Fast and Testimony Meeting, the ward moved directly into the opening exercises for Sunday School. As is the custom in the ward, this included the Bishop asking any visitors in the room to stand and introduce themselves. One person after another stood, introduced themselves with their name and their ward and the words "…and I am a gay Mormon." When the ward was finally dismissed to separate for classes, a large number of members went out of their way to shake hands with Sam and Dave and to praise them for their courage and to express their love and support. Three members, individually, also whispered that they were gay but had not come out.

1:00 PM: David at the Derwood Ward

The Derwood, Maryland, Ward met in the Washington suburbs at 1:00 that day, and in front of his home ward and Affirmation supporters, David bore his testimony of the gospel, of his love for the Savior, and of the need to not depend upon the wisdom of men but, rather, to rely upon the Spirit to know truth.

"The greatest blessing that the Lord has given me in my life is to be sent here to this earth as a gay man. Being gay has given me the greatest trials and the greatest blessings imaginable. It has enabled me to love and understand and reach out to others in a way that would not be possible otherwise. Brothers and sisters, we have been taught that we must seek to be honest, true, chaste, benevolent and virtuous, that we must seek to be doing good to all men. But as long as we teach and preach hatred and homophobia as family values, we have no promise and we have failed."

The reaction of the congregation was similar to what had taken place hours before. At the end of the meeting, the first counselor in the Stake Presidency was given time to read the First Presidency letter. Instead, he went into a rather lengthy discourse about Dave and about the courage needed to come out and about the love that the ward and the stake felt for him. When he finally did read the letter, it was with a noticeable lump in his throat and fighting back a tear in his eye.

You Can Be That Light

Both Sam and David stated that the day's meetings were among the most spiritual and moving testimony meetings that they have ever attended. The sense of peace and calm that each felt was literally overwhelming, and each said that they clearly felt the affirmation of the Spirit that they said and done the right things. The support of Affirmation members, church members, friends, and total strangers was far beyond anything that had been expected.

A great deal has happened to Sam and David in the days since, but in a month that represents our expression of pride in who we are, this was the perfect beginning. Both Sam and David have considered themselves to be out for several years, but just as each major step out of the closet brings with it a lifting of a burden and a new sense of peace and confidence, this final step, one that neither man had really thought about previously as even being necessary, provided those same feelings on an unprecedented magnitude. Any although each has faced condemnation from a few homophobic lost souls, each has also received huge outpourings of love and support for their actions. Sam and David thank Eduk and join with him in encouraging you "to share your story in some local ward. Do it for yourself and for those who need to know that everything will be OK-for those who can't see the light. I know you can be that light that so many need."