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Articles by/for Allies

Philip and Immy Ferrara

A Letter to the President of the LDS Church from a Loving Father

Mar, 2002
By Philip J. Ferrara, Sr.

To Whom It May Concern:

In the darkness of caves, in the shelter of secluded forests and cottages, in the barren deserts, and on the desolate peaks of isolated mountaintops huddled the early Latter-day Saints. A people, a faith community scorned, ridiculed, and persecuted by those in power, as were the early Saints (LDS), those who would listen not, understand not, believe not, respect not, and love not those early Latter-day Saints.

The powerful looked upon the outcast followers of our Lord, Jesus Christ, with disdain and ill will, anger and hate, ostracizing them as 'different', 'dangerous', 'evil', 'corrupt', and 'depraved.' All of this angst and malevolence generated against those early Latter-day Saints simply for choosing to follow the teachings of One Who was also treated and judged as a radical, dangerous, corrupt, deviant, evil Man. Such a One as became known to us today as Jesus, the Son of Heavenly Father; the Teacher of Love for each other, which virtue He described as "the greatest of all virtues."

Those early Latter-day Saints, sacrificing their comfort, their security, their families, and their very lives, chose to be members of the early Church, in the face of all adversity and peril and indignity. How truly courageous, how strong, how faithful, how selfless they were to have endured such trials. And through those trials, through their enormous strength, faith, and love these 'children of Heavenly Father' formed our LDS Churches.

My son, Philip Joseph Ferrara, Jr., was born into the LDS faith in a small home in South Philly, on December 02, 1971. He was a gift from Heavenly Father, created by our omnipotent, omniscient, all perfect, all merciful, all-loving Heavenly Father. Philip Jr. was given to us as a complete person, individual as to his physical, mental, and emotional capabilities. He was given to us by Heavenly Father, not to accept or reject, not to judge, not to change, but simply to love for the wonderful, beautiful, special, unique, and miraculous gift that he was. Early on it was apparent how 'special' our son was. He was always a gregarious, loving, compassionate, generous, talented young man, and it was not until his late teens that we became aware that Heavenly Father, in His infinite wisdom and unquestionable plan, had also decided to bless us with a gay son.

Our son, contrary to the popular myth force-fed to us all by the self-righteous, bigoted, misinformed segments of society, did not 'choose' to be gay; his sexuality, for reasons known only to Heavenly Father, was determined at his conception. I truly believe that Heavenly Father's plan includes "all" people, straight and GLBT, male and female, short and tall, white/black/yellow/red, physically/mentally challenged and physically sound, etc., etc.. Who are we to presume that any of the glorious variety of life, created by Heavenly Father, is right or wrong? Should we not accept all of Heavenly Father's creation as He created it, and not be so presumptuous, egotistical, self-aggrandizing, and prejudiced as to judge any part of it?

My son lost his valiant struggle to a virulent and deadly disease (PML) on November 09, 1994, at only 22 years of age, after many years of the same vile hatred, abuse, and aversion the early Latter-day Saints had to endure. Surely not he, nor any GLBT person, 'chooses' to be so reviled and abused and ostracized. Surely, for reasons known only to Heavenly Father, GLBT persons are born as such, and as with any other child, of any other race, creed, sex, or physical/mental ability, GLBT persons too, deserve and should be unquestioningly afforded the same love, respect, fellowship, and acceptance as any other human being, for human beings they are too. Further, I in no way believe that our Heavenly Father is such a Heavenly Father that would purposely, unjustly, and perniciously cause our son, our only child, to die such a terrible death simply because of his sexual orientation. Especially since said orientation had been instilled into his very being, by that same Heavenly Father, at his conception and birth.

The suffering, despair, and malevolence our son felt in his own life, and especially in his death, when, on his death bed, in his last moments, a "man of the cloth" at his bedside who becomes aware of his sexuality and his disease, blatantly, shamelessly, with not an iota of remorse, compassion, respect, or LDS love refuses to bless my son, nor give him last prayers, surely is also being experienced by all GLBT LDS persons, around the world, and especially here in the Philadelphia area.

After all of the heart-wrenching, soul-wrenching, mind-wrenching trauma of this past decade, inflicted by unfeeling, heartless, unLDS, bigoted persons, lay and religious alike, still there is no end to my search for a Church home. A Church home that can provide a place of peace, acceptance, true Christ-like Love, religiosity, faith, and spirituality sorely missing in my life, and those of GLBT persons and their equally suffering and maligned families. A Church home that provides a place of refuge where all GLBT persons & their families can come and know that, while their own birth Churches, for now anyway, do not accept them as people worthy of Heavenly Father's love, and Heavenly Father's blessing, and the Church's acceptance, Heavenly Father Himself, on the other hand, does indeed love them and accept them, and holds them to no different standard or judgment than any other LDS; they come to realize that Heavenly Father Himself wants them to worship in peace and joy and love, and to someday enter His kingdom along with other Latter-day Saints from all walks of life.

Can you honestly believe that GLBT persons are not created as such at birth? Can you in your heart-of-hearts, in your very soul, honestly believe that Heavenly Father would be so unfeeling and unjust as to create a person, innately GLBT, and then create LDS Churches whose dogmas (predominantly man-made) and rules would forever deny that GLBT person salvation, love, and the glory of Heavenly Father's kingdom, simply because of a simple aspect of their lives, instilled and created by that very same Heavenly Father?

Surely the Heavenly Father we worship, the Heavenly Father we have been taught about, the Heavenly Father we have prayed to, trusted in, and Who we consider to be all-loving, all-just, all-knowing, and all-merciful would not, could not, allow for such a transgression against any of His creations. I beg you in this correspondence to please make the necessary, long overdue, rightful, Godly, LDS decision to accept our GLBT brothers and sisters into the Church as equal and fully participating members, both lay and religious, deserving of all the love, respect, and acceptance that any one else receives in LDS Churches, as I am sure Christ Himself would do if He were here this day. Surely you cannot do less than this? Surely you cannot continue to reject your GLBT LDS brothers and sisters? Surely you cannot continue to deny them their rightful, Heavenly Father-given place at Heavenly Father's altar, in Heavenly Father's Church?

Please end the hate, end the sorrow, end the bigotry & rejection ... please ... please ... As with the first Latter-day Saints mentioned above, GLBT brothers & sisters & their families, still, this very day, figuratively and similarly 'cower in the caves, in the forests, on the barren mountain-tops, in the secluded safe places' in an effort to worship their Heavenly Father, our Heavenly Father, your Heavenly Father, in their LDS tradition. Also like the early Latter-day Saints, our GLBT brothers and sisters 'sacrifice, too, their comfort, security, families, and yes, sometimes their very lives', to continue to worship in their LDS tradition, in the face of all adversity, peril, and indignity. How truly selfless, courageous, and faithful these modern day outcasts remain, in their undeniable belief that they, too, are children of our Heavenly Father, and deserving members of the LDS Church.

Please, by the grace, justice, and blessings of Heavenly Father's love, this day, make the Church's policy reflect the total and unequivocal acceptance of all LDS GLBT persons. Surely this is in Heavenly Father's plan, and is of Heavenly Father's will, and will bring blessings to the Church, its members, and to you the leadership, and will finally bring the full and complete love of Heavenly Father and Church to so very many heretofore cast-off GLBT sons and daughters, and their struggling and tormented families.

Please, take the first momentous and healing step toward reconciliation and unification, towards mutual love, faith, and respect, towards the final closing that will bring the shared joy, love, peace, and blessings of Heavenly Father to all we family of LDSity -- please.

Heavenly Father bless you for your time and consideration of this heartfelt, sincere, Christ-inspired plea to your humanity, your sense of justice, your sense of LDSity and Heavenly Fatherliness, and your sense of Heavenly Father's total love for us all ... remember ... "... Love is the greatest of these ..." and where would be the evidence of your love if you exclude these wonderful GLBT Latter-day Saints from Heavenly Father's fold?

Respectfully, and in Christ's Love,
Philip J. Ferrara, Sr.
(proud & blessed 'pop' of Philip Jr)
(proud & blessed husband of Immy)