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Miscellaneous Voices

Still Waiting for my Stripling Warrior...

by Dan Cash
February 2003

Here I am approaching 40, and still single. What's up with that? By this time I was supposed to be married, have kids, be finished with college, have a good career, and be serving in a bishopric somewhere. How did I get side tracked?

Actually, I'm in a very good place in my life. I'm content with where I live, working toward some goals, and even at piece with being single. I wouldn't mind finding my Stripling Warrior someday, though, especially if he looks like one of those hotties in Arnold Friberg's Two Thousand Young Warriors painting. (Well, one can dream, can't he?)

What's it like being single in a culture that seems to prefer couplehood? Well, I don't have to share the remote, I get to pick what videos to rent, and I even get to pick what restaurants to go to. I also throw off the seating in movie theaters. They're set up to accommodate groups of "two," so when a single person goes by himself, or tags along with a couple, that really messes things up! (Ah, the simple joys of life!)

All kidding aside, sometimes it's really no fun being single in this culture. Everywhere you look, images of couples abound. Whether it's the straight media, or the gay media, "coupledom" seems to be the quest to aim for. I have to chuckle when I read the dialogue between Michael and Mary Ann in Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City. Michael is convinced that Christmas is a conspiracy to make single people feel lonely. He goes on to tell Mary Ann how much he dislikes the "we" people. He tells her, "They never say I. They say, 'We're going to Hawaii after Christmas' or 'We're taking the dog to get his shots.' They wallow in the first person plural, because they remember how shitty it was to be a first person singular." While I don't share his opinion on this matter, I can certainly understand where that sentiment comes from.

One of the difficulties I find is where and how to meet nice guys. Internet chat rooms, bars, & clubs, hold not appeal to me. I suppose there are other avenues out there, but I've not made the effort to really find them. Here in Long Beach we have a vibrant gay community, so I really have nothing to complain about if I don't make the effort to socialize and make new friends. I don't know how people who live in areas with no cohesive gay community make that connection.

I suppose deep down inside, I long for a commitment to another person. I'd love to find that "special someone" to share dreams with, set goals with, and even fight for the remote with. But, for now, I'm single. That's okay too. We each have paths to walk in this life. Someday my prince (or Stripling Warrior) will come. When he does, I'm sure it will be a great thing. Until then, I'll just keep enjoying life.