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Women's Voices

Alyson Bolles

The Ups and Downs of Valentine's Day

By Alyson Bolles, Senior Assistant Director
From Affinity, February 2005

It seems a bit silly to celebrate love on a certain day, does it not? Sure, it can be fun for school kids to exchange cards and all that jazz, but there is always a self-consciousness that accompanies that card or gift. At least when I was growing up, we had to bring a Valentine for everyone in the class. That meant the girls, too. I always liked that part. I remember in 3rd grade giving out my valentines but saving one Wonder Woman card with the red heart drawn on the back to give to that special girl on the playground--only to chicken out and place it on the stack of cards already on her desk.

It doesn't matter if one is young or old, in a relationship or not - Valentine's Day can still suck. I'm lucky to be off the hook. My partner, after having owned a florist shop for years, HATES Valentine's Day. Well, maybe not the day but most definitely red roses. And baby's breath? Forget it! Now, this doesn't mean I can get away with being a total Valentine's Day bah-humbug. I do like being romantic. After all, February 14 comes about three quarters of the way through the Pacific Northwest winter. I'll take any excuse to cuddle by a fire with my partner--even Valentine's Day.

What is Valentine's Day, really, besides a day for single folks to feel down and those in relationships to feel obligated? I did a little research on this Saint Valentine fellow. According to one legend, Valentinus ignored a decree from Emperor Claudius II that forbade all marriages and betrothals. Caught in the act of secretly conducting several wedding ceremonies, Valentinus was imprisoned and sentenced to death. There is more to the story and the history of Valentine's Day, but putting this spin on it certainly fits the present times for gays and lesbians. Someone recognized that honoring love by recognizing committed relationships does have a place and was willing to put his life on the line. Now, that seems worth celebrating.