Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Evergreen Adds Some Curves to Their Straight Line

(AP) A spokesperson for Evergreen International confirmed today that a fashion show has been added to their "Straight Line," a chartered service of the Utah light rail that runs every day between Sandy and Salt Lake City. Same-sex attracted Mormons who have been recommended by their bishops may commute in the special train that leaves every morning at 7:37 A.M. and returns at 5:34 P.M.

"The Straight Line has been a real blessing," explained one passenger, who wished to remain anonymous. "This is an opportunity for me to overcome my same-sex tendencies while commuting to work."

"The service is really convenient," said another man, who also preferred to remain anonymous. "Here I can enjoy being close to other males, thus reversing the problems that made me gay in the first place."

"I take the Straight Line every morning," said another passenger, who also wished to remain anonymous. "And now they've announced that besides the fashion shows, we'll receive classes on how to play baseball and fix cars."

The spokesperson confirmed that the service is indeed a resounding success, but he added that it has not yet been decided if the Straight Line will run on Sundays.