Faces of Affirmation
There are many things about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I really like, things that resonate with me. I like that our God isn’t silent, that God answers prayers, and wants to reveal new things to us. It’s just that where church intersects with how I was made by our Creator, there is tension.
I am a gay, pioneer veteran that respects my Mormon beliefs but I take it from the pure love of Christ, not from what someone says from a pulpit. It is our actions that state who we are, not our words.
I’m able to use my talents of writing, public speaking, music, and my sense of humor (my silly critters) to help people understand what it means to be gay and Mormon, and what it doesn’t mean, and He wants me to remain in the Church where I’ll be most effective in carrying out this work.
Loving ourselves as we are is the path of happiness that we must follow. We all have divine potential, and if we look beyond our imperfections, we will know that we are truly perfect as we are.
For me, my sexual orientation and my Mormonism are paralleled in my struggles as a bisexual woman. I’ve felt pulled between two communities I love dearly. The truth is I can’t deny my Mormon identity, motivation, and beliefs any more than I could deny that I’m attracted to multiple genders.
I always wondered why my father, who always encouraged people to go to church, to pray, and to read the scriptures, did not enter the church with others on Sundays. My mom decided to tell us that our dad was gay.
Today I am a person who succeeded in life, for everything I struggled for and sought, I became a confident and determined person. With all that happened, I never lost my faith and spirituality. Today I accept myself. My family accepts me. Most important of all, I built new castles for my life.
In our, very, very, Mormon world, being gay was just… never an option. It was so far outside the realm of something we’d even considered possible that, by the time we accepted it for what it was, we were married with children, our lives inextricably entangled.
I took a deep breath, sat down on the bed with my face to the wall and my back to my husband. He said something about my needing to hear him out and not overreact. I agreed, and finally, he said, “I am gay.”