Faces of Affirmation
For me, being a member of the human race carries an enormous responsibility and purpose for life. Each and every day I wake up, I am grateful to have another day on earth with my husband, and another chance to leave the world better than I found it.
Our Heavenly Father is the only One who has all answers. He knows the reason for my attraction to women.
Throughout the day, my dad kept saying things like, “I had no idea. I had no idea.” And, “I feel like I’m seeing with new eyes.”
I dreaded wearing the costume again. No matter how beautiful it was, no matter how desirable others found it, there was no point of existing inside a costume.
Initially I remember jumping up and down when I finally knew who I was. Then it dawned on me that it would go against everything I have been told, everything I’ve known. Then I thought, “What would mom say?” I felt immediate denial. I begged myself to reconsider. To simply check again. That could never be me.
I remember entering the Metropolitan Church on Castro’s Eureka Street, where the Affirmation meeting was happening. A full battle was raging inside me. One side said, “Leave now!” and the other side said “Stay!” as I slowly walked up the stairs to the second floor.
When I grew up, it was not okay to be gay and not act on it; you had to hide being gay, utterly hide. I eventually lost all faith in God, and only the gay love of a gay man who loved me brought me back to God.
This is not just a bathroom issue. It’s daily life. It’s being gendered correctly, it’s having your name, and pronouns respected. It’s being able to go to a store and be treated with respect. It’s being permitted to be yourself.
As I sit in Fast and Testimony meeting this morning I hear one man speak of families. He says he has recently been wondering why families are so important to our Heavenly Father. He then answers his own question by stating, “it is because within marriage and families we learn to love like God”. “Exactly”, I thought.