{"id":20644,"date":"2018-09-25T06:42:06","date_gmt":"2018-09-25T12:42:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/affirmation.org\/?p=20644"},"modified":"2021-10-03T15:31:04","modified_gmt":"2021-10-03T21:31:04","slug":"blaire-ostler-mormom-queer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/affirmation.org\/es\/blaire-ostler-mormom-queer\/","title":{"rendered":"No voy a fingir que soy otra cosa que lo que soy: morm\u00f3n y queer"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Blaire<\/p>\n

por Blaire Ostler<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hola. estoy Blaire Ostler<\/a>. Soy un morm\u00f3n nacido y criado. Vengo de nueve generaciones de pioneros mormones. A menudo bromeo diciendo que si hay un gen morm\u00f3n, lo tengo. Tambi\u00e9n soy una variante de g\u00e9nero, pansexual sexualmente fluido, pero la mayor\u00eda de las veces me refiero a m\u00ed mismo como raro<\/a>. Si hay un gen queer, estoy bastante seguro de que lo tengo.<\/p>\n

Not\u00e9 por primera vez que me atra\u00edan las mujeres durante la pubertad. Honestamente, no pens\u00e9 mucho en eso porque tambi\u00e9n me atra\u00edan los hombres. En mi mente joven, pens\u00e9 que todos se sent\u00edan atra\u00eddos por las mujeres. Pens\u00e9 que era normal hasta que me dijeron lo contrario. Al crecer, escuch\u00e9 a familiares, compa\u00f1eros y amigos usar la palabra queer de una manera despectiva. Para m\u00ed, fue f\u00e1cil fingir que esos comentarios homof\u00f3bicos no eran para m\u00ed porque tambi\u00e9n me gustaban los hombres. Seguramente, no era "realmente gay". En retrospectiva, es m\u00e1s f\u00e1cil ver c\u00f3mo no incluirme bajo el paraguas queer fue una forma de protegerme del rechazo de aquellos a quienes m\u00e1s amaba. No fue hasta que fui adulta que incluso abrac\u00e9 la etiqueta "bisexual" para describir mi orientaci\u00f3n sexual.<\/p>\n

La lucha constante por ser bisexual, al menos en mi caso, nunca fue sentir que perteneces a ning\u00fan lado. Nunca fui lo suficientemente gay y nunca fui lo suficientemente heterosexual. Estaba claro que no era como las otras chicas heterosexuales de las que me encontraba rodeada, pero al mismo tiempo, sent\u00eda que tampoco pertenec\u00eda a la comunidad LGBTQ +. Era lo suficientemente queer como para sentir el rechazo social, el aislamiento y la desesperanza que conlleva ser gay, pero al mismo tiempo, mi atracci\u00f3n por los hombres me excluy\u00f3 de la comunidad queer. Desde la perspectiva de la comunidad heterosexual, solo buscaba atenci\u00f3n, estaba confundido o atravesaba una fase. Desde la perspectiva de la comunidad queer, me estaba enga\u00f1ando a m\u00ed mismo y tem\u00eda confrontar el hecho de que era innegable y exclusivamente homosexual.<\/p>\n

Me ha tomado a\u00f1os sentirme c\u00f3moda con mi identidad como mujer queer. La verdad es que soy gay, heterosexual y soy todo lo que hay en el medio. En lugar de percibirme a m\u00ed mismo como insuficiente de cualquier identidad, comenc\u00e9 a verme como suficiente independientemente de mi identidad. Pertenezco a la comunidad heterosexual y pertenezco a la comunidad queer. Elegir un bando ser\u00eda autoenga\u00f1oso.<\/p>\n

Para m\u00ed, mi orientaci\u00f3n sexual y mi mormonismo tienen un paralelo en mis luchas como mujer bisexual. Me sent\u00ed atra\u00eddo entre dos comunidades que amo profundamente, al escuchar las mismas voces que gritaban: \u201c\u00a1Elige un lado! \u00a1Elige un bando! No puedes ser morm\u00f3n y queer ". La verdad es que no puedo negar mi identidad, motivaci\u00f3n y creencias mormonas m\u00e1s de lo que puedo negar que me atraen los g\u00e9neros m\u00faltiples. Ambas identidades, mormona y queer, son parte de m\u00ed y no tengo intenci\u00f3n de renunciar a ninguna de las dos.<\/p>\n

Aun as\u00ed, me aparto de la comunidad SUD. Como mujer y feminista, me siento excluida, marginada y abandonada dentro de la organizaci\u00f3n patriarcal. No solo sufro discriminaci\u00f3n por mi orientaci\u00f3n sexual, sino tambi\u00e9n por mi g\u00e9nero. A veces puede parecer que hay obst\u00e1culos insuperables que superar para ser incluido como un miembro completo de la comunidad que es digno de plena participaci\u00f3n y aceptaci\u00f3n<\/a>. Mi comunidad SUD dice: "Te amo", pero sus acciones, ret\u00f3rica y pol\u00edticas sugieren lo contrario. \u00bfDeber\u00eda su supuesto amor venir acompa\u00f1ado de ataques civiles a mi identidad? \u00bfPuede la cortes\u00eda excusar sus acciones e inacciones? \u00bfSu amor por m\u00ed deber\u00eda hacerme sentir morir?<\/a> \u00bfC\u00f3mo podr\u00eda ser eso amor? No puedo imaginar que esto es lo que deber\u00eda sentirse el amor. Las palabras "Te amo" se sienten falsas en ese contexto.<\/p>\n

Si bien mi relaci\u00f3n con la Iglesia SUD est\u00e1 en conflicto, extra\u00f1amente me encuentro m\u00e1s morm\u00f3n que nunca<\/a>. Adem\u00e1s de que el mormonismo sigue siendo un aspecto esencial de mi identidad, todav\u00eda creo. Todav\u00eda encuentro plenitud espiritual en mi mormonismo. Soy morm\u00f3n y queer. No veo ninguna raz\u00f3n para fingir que soy otra cosa que lo que soy<\/a>\u2014Una extra\u00f1a hija de Dios que encuentra su camino para convertirse en Ellos<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Para m\u00ed, mi orientaci\u00f3n sexual y mi mormonismo tienen un paralelo en mis luchas como mujer bisexual. Me he sentido atra\u00edda entre dos comunidades que amo mucho. La verdad es que no puedo negar mi identidad, motivaci\u00f3n y creencias mormonas m\u00e1s de lo que puedo negar que me atraen los g\u00e9neros m\u00faltiples.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":20647,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_piecal_is_recurring":false,"_piecal_recurring_interval":1,"_piecal_recurring_frequency":"","_piecal_recurring_exact_position":false,"_piecal_recurring_end":"","_piecal_color":"","_piecal_text_color":"","_piecal_global_color_master":false,"_piecal_rsets":"[]","_piecal_is_event":false,"_piecal_start_date":"","_piecal_end_date":"","_piecal_is_allday":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[127],"tags":[370,2011,1854,2010,766],"newsletters":[],"class_list":["post-20644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faces","tag-bisexual","tag-blaire-ostler","tag-queer","tag-transhumanism","tag-women"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nI'm Not Going to Pretend I\u2019m Anything Other Than What I Am: Mormon and Queer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For me, my sexual orientation and my Mormonism are paralleled in my struggles as a bisexual woman. 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