{"id":4581,"date":"2014-06-14T07:30:28","date_gmt":"2014-06-14T13:30:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/affirmation.org\/?p=4581"},"modified":"2021-10-03T08:44:01","modified_gmt":"2021-10-03T14:44:01","slug":"fathering-my-son-fathering-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/affirmation.org\/es\/engendrar-a-mi-hijo-en-paternidad\/","title":{"rendered":"Engendrar a mi hijo, engendrarme a m\u00ed mismo"},"content":{"rendered":"

por Jeff Frye<\/p>\n

Tengo la suerte de ser un padre, un padre gay. Se me ha concedido el honor de ser la mayordom\u00eda de un milagro biol\u00f3gico, No\u00e9, cuyo nombre en hebreo significa "El regalo de Dios, la paz, el descanso y el consuelo de Dios". He sido padre durante diecis\u00e9is a\u00f1os de expansi\u00f3n mental.<\/p>\n

\"manos\"<\/a>Me preocup\u00e9 por convertirme en padre cuando escuch\u00e9 la noticia de su madre. Me preocupaba ser inadecuado para criar a este ni\u00f1o que se convertir\u00eda en un hombre. Mi mayor temor era que le transfirieran mi orientaci\u00f3n sexual. Por eso, durante muchos a\u00f1os, hab\u00eda esperado que la paternidad me pasara por alto: \u00bfc\u00f3mo podr\u00eda traer un hijo al mundo para sufrir emocionalmente como yo lo hab\u00eda hecho? No ve\u00eda nada bueno en ser un padre gay, porque ser un ni\u00f1o gay era doloroso e impredeciblemente dif\u00edcil.<\/p>\n

Ser un ni\u00f1o gay para un padre heterosexual era desconcertante y desafiante. Palabras como verg\u00fcenza e inadaptado me vienen a la mente para describir mis propios intentos de vincularme con este misterioso hombre llamado padre. El di\u00e1logo que es tan frecuente en Facebook, Youtube y similares hoy en d\u00eda ni siquiera fue tecnol\u00f3gicamente posible durante mi infancia. Entonces procesamos las cosas en silencio e insinuaciones, lo que result\u00f3 en sufrimiento y miedo. En el mejor de los casos, trabajamos a trav\u00e9s de intentos de mosaico para resolver el enigma de c\u00f3mo un ni\u00f1o gay podr\u00eda vivir en el mundo de un padre heterosexual.<\/p>\n

Me encantar\u00eda compartir que no tuvo ninguna importancia. Pero eso no ser\u00eda cierto. fue duro, y muchas veces fue un infierno. Yo era el pararrayos de arrebatos de ira y odio que nunca hab\u00eda comprendido ni merecido. De mis primeros recuerdos de padre e hijo, el que m\u00e1s se destaca es este: la primera persona que me llam\u00f3 "maric\u00f3n" fue mi padre. Ten\u00eda 10 a\u00f1os, estaba en cuarto grado. La enemistad t\u00e1cita entre mi padre y yo continu\u00f3 durante mi adolescencia hasta que pude irme a la universidad.<\/p>\n

\"playa\"<\/a>A medida que crec\u00ed en la idea de convertirme en padre de este hermoso hijo de quien se me hab\u00eda encargado, supe que me iban a llamar a una doble funci\u00f3n: ser padre de \u00e9l, esta tabula rasa, y padre de m\u00ed mismo, este retra\u00eddo, yo sombr\u00edo cubierto de magulladuras y cicatrices emocionales y f\u00edsicas. Una generaci\u00f3n de odio tendr\u00eda que desaparecer; una progenie de esperanza y amor tendr\u00eda que crecer a trav\u00e9s de m\u00ed. Adopt\u00e9 el lema, "se detiene conmigo". Se convirti\u00f3 en mi mantra personal, un recordatorio constante de que estaba cumpliendo las \u00f3rdenes de las generaciones venideras.<\/p>\n

My Comfort y yo resistimos las tormentas del divorcio y la familia rota juntos. \u00c9l era mi compa\u00f1ero constante de 8 a\u00f1os y mi verdadero amigo. Cuando conoc\u00ed a mi esposo Rick en 2006, Noah lo abraz\u00f3. Si bien Noah no ten\u00eda el vocabulario para este pap\u00e1 adicional en la casa (ni yo), se adapt\u00f3 r\u00e1pidamente y cari\u00f1osamente se refiri\u00f3 a Rick como "Thing". Yo era su pap\u00e1 favorito y Rick era su "cosa" favorita. Todav\u00eda se refiere en broma a Rick como "Cosa" en lugar de padrastro, como se conoce a Rick ahora.<\/p>\n

\"foto<\/a>Hemos compartido muchos momentos divertidos a lo largo de los a\u00f1os en esta relaci\u00f3n padre-hijo maestro-alumno. En 2007, durante un viaje por el campo hasta nuestra casa, No\u00e9, esta vez en el papel de la Sabidur\u00eda de Dios, sinti\u00f3 que era muy importante compartir con nosotros un secreto que hab\u00eda guardado. Mientras estaba detenido en una intersecci\u00f3n, dijo en voz baja, con voz preocupada: "Pap\u00e1, solo quer\u00eda que t\u00fa y Rick supieran que eres gay". Le pregunt\u00e9: "\u00bfQu\u00e9 te hace pensar eso?" \u00c9l dijo: "Porque sois dos hombres que se aman". Eso fue suficiente sabidur\u00eda para m\u00ed.<\/p>\n

A partir de ese momento, Noah se convirti\u00f3 en mi descanso permanente. Abraz\u00f3 a nuestra familia, alent\u00f3 la participaci\u00f3n en la escuela a lo largo de los a\u00f1os y sonri\u00f3 con orgullo cuando lo visitamos durante los conciertos de la banda durante el quinto y sexto grado, los proyectos de ciencia durante el s\u00e9ptimo y el octavo grado, y durante el inexplorado a\u00f1o del noveno grado, trabajando a trav\u00e9s de su nuevo diagn\u00f3stico de trastorno del espectro autista.<\/p>\n

Nuestra visita a la escuela m\u00e1s reciente contin\u00faa ense\u00f1ando a otros sobre c\u00f3mo ampliar su comprensi\u00f3n sobre lo que significa ser padres homosexuales. Rick y yo nos reportamos a la oficina de la escuela para una reuni\u00f3n de padres y maestros. Nos recibieron con las sonrisas habituales, ya que all\u00ed se nos conoce bien. La secretaria llam\u00f3 al personal y dijo: \u201cHola, soy Julie. Quer\u00eda que supieras que Noah's ... uh ... uh ... (la inst\u00e9 diciendo, "'Padres' est\u00e1 bien") ... uh ... Sr. Frye y Rick est\u00e1n aqu\u00ed para verte ". Otro momento de aprendizaje significa otro paso adelante.<\/p>\n

Engendrarme a m\u00ed mismo ha sido una tarea constante y dif\u00edcil. Tuve que desenredar mensajes distorsionados sobre m\u00ed mismo aprendidos en un momento en que carec\u00eda de la capacidad total para entenderme a m\u00ed mismo oa mi padre. Muchas veces, los mensajes que compart\u00ed con Noah fueron dise\u00f1ados originalmente para m\u00ed a trav\u00e9s del di\u00e1logo interno y la reflexi\u00f3n. Y fui inteligente al escuchar.<\/p>\n

Desde el nacimiento hasta los 12 a\u00f1os, cuando creci\u00f3 nuestra rutina nocturna, Noah se fue a la cama y escuch\u00f3 estas palabras de m\u00ed: \u201cQuiero que sepas que no hay nada que puedas hacer o decir que me haga no amarte. Estoy tan orgulloso de ti, y estoy tan contento de que Dios te haya enviado a vivir conmigo para poder amarte y cuidar de ti ... Estoy tan orgulloso de ti, y deber\u00edas estar orgulloso de ti mismo ". \u00c9l todav\u00eda escucha eso de m\u00ed todos los d\u00edas.<\/p>\n

Y, a su vez, en momentos de desesperaci\u00f3n personal, Noah, mi gran Paz, se sienta a mi lado, a veces sosteniendo mi mano, o entre los Legos y iPads, repiti\u00e9ndome esas palabras textualmente. Y en esos momentos llenos de cielo, s\u00e9 en el fondo de mi coraz\u00f3n, que la generaci\u00f3n de odio se ha detenido conmigo ... y que las generaciones venideras mirar\u00e1n hacia atr\u00e1s a mi Regalo de Dios y llamar\u00e1n su nombre bendito.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mientras estaba detenido en una intersecci\u00f3n, dijo en voz baja, con voz preocupada: "Pap\u00e1, solo quer\u00eda que t\u00fa y Rick supieran que eres gay". Le pregunt\u00e9: "\u00bfQu\u00e9 te hace pensar eso?" \u00c9l dijo: "Porque sois dos hombres que se aman".<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":14141,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_piecal_is_recurring":false,"_piecal_recurring_interval":1,"_piecal_recurring_frequency":"","_piecal_recurring_exact_position":false,"_piecal_recurring_end":"","_piecal_color":"","_piecal_text_color":"","_piecal_global_color_master":false,"_piecal_rsets":"[]","_piecal_is_event":false,"_piecal_start_date":"","_piecal_end_date":"","_piecal_is_allday":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1849],"tags":[674,673,379],"newsletters":[],"class_list":["post-4581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-fathers-day","tag-fatherhood","tag-gay-fathers"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFathering My Son, Fathering Myself<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" 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