Uma porta aberta, mas muitos corações partidos
6 de abril de 2019
by Glenn McRae
Submetido à Afirmação após a reversão de A Igreja de Jesus Cristo dos Santos dos Últimos Dias de suas mudanças de política de novembro de 2015 que proibiam filhos de pais LGBTQ de serem abençoados e batizados e caracterizavam membros da igreja que se casavam pelo mesmo sexo como apóstatas. Essas mudanças se tornaram conhecidas na comunidade LGBTQ Mórmon como a "política de exclusão", "política de exclusão" ou "PoX". No dia seguinte ao anúncio da reversão desta política, Nathan Kitchen, Presidente da Afirmação, convidou todos os que estivessem dispostos a compartilhar seus sentimentos autênticos e todas as suas histórias de pesar, raiva, alívio, tristeza, felicidade, confusão, o que quer que seja que esteja ao redor a rescisão desta política. “Como presidente da Afirmação, quero ter certeza de que a Afirmação não esconde você ou suas histórias à medida que avançamos”, escreveu Kitchen em seu convite. Se você tiver reações ou uma história para compartilhar sobre a reversão da política de exclusão, envie para [email protected]. Você também pode leia outras histórias e reações à reversão da política de exclusão.
My name is Glenn. I am a gay man, and trying to remain a member of the church. I’m mostly confused about how I feel.
3.5 years ago, I was not a part of the LGBTQ community. I am definitely gay, and have been my whole life. Preparing for my LDS mission in 2013, I had successfully killed the gay part of me. When I got back home in 2015, I knew for certain I was going to marry a woman. I had never listened to a gay person’s point of view. I “knew everything”. I was a returned missionary after all.
That November, I wasn’t surprised at all by the policy. I “understood” why God would want to do that. I thought it protected children of same-sex couples from the psychological distress that would happen, coming from a loving home to a church that told them their parents are sinners and wouldn’t be with them forever. I “understood” that God would provide a way for the LGBTQ members to live happily and obediently.
Just over a year ago, I finally came to terms with my sexuality. The full story can be found on my blog. I’ve finally been a part of the LGBTQ community, and I’ve gotten to know beautiful, wonderful souls. Over the past year, I’ve finally come to terms with who I think God is and how He loves us. I ask myself how I could ever possibly convince an LGBTQ individual to join the church, knowing they’d be kicked out again because of who they are.
So, on April 4th, 2019, I was excited, because a door had been opened. I talked to my boyfriend to see how he felt. He was excited too. But then I read more and more opinions about the policy reversal. So many broken hearts, angry hearts, and bitter hearts. Because of where I was 3.5 years ago, I can’t share that pain because this policy has only affected me once.
I feel sorrow that I can’t connect with the beautiful people I’ve come to know. I can’t ache like they do. In a way, I feel like I’ve let the community down, though I’m still new to the LGBTQ experience.
But I still feel a hope for things to come. It might put us back to 2015, but at least we’re headed in the right direction again.