{"id":5994,"date":"2013-07-21T17:24:33","date_gmt":"2013-07-21T23:24:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/affirmation.org\/?p=5994"},"modified":"2018-12-14T16:45:48","modified_gmt":"2018-12-14T23:45:48","slug":"flipping-switch-letting-god-light-path","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/affirmation.org\/pt\/sacudir-interruptor-deixar-deus-luz-caminho\/","title":{"rendered":"Acertando o interruptor: deixando Deus iluminar o caminho"},"content":{"rendered":"

Por Kathy Carlston<\/p>\n

2011 foi um grande ano para mim. Em julho, depois de anos fazendo terapia e trabalhando com v\u00e1rios bispos na esperan\u00e7a de encontrar alguma maneira, alguma cura para me livrar da atra\u00e7\u00e3o por mulheres, marquei uma reuni\u00e3o para falar com meu presidente de estaca. Depois de lhe contar minha hist\u00f3ria, ele sugeriu que eu contatasse Carol Lynn Pearson, que por acaso morava em minha estaca. Ela ouviu com paci\u00eancia e aten\u00e7\u00e3o, fazendo perguntas para extrair o po\u00e7o de frustra\u00e7\u00f5es em que eu estava me afogando. Eu esperava um conselho sobre o que fazer, mas em vez disso, ela me disse que esta era minha jornada, meu caminho, e embora ela ficaria feliz em caminhar comigo, eu era o \u00fanico atr\u00e1s do volante. Eu sa\u00ed de sua casa com uma c\u00f3pia de seu livro, Chega de despedidas: circulando as carro\u00e7as ao redor de nossos entes queridos gays.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Nunca fui um grande leitor. Antes disso, eu tinha sorte de terminar um romance em um determinado ano. Mas uma semana depois, eu tinha devorado No More Goodbyes e comecei a ler tudo que eu podia colocar minhas m\u00e3os.<\/p>\n

Depois de meses de pesquisa e exame de consci\u00eancia, um dos meus melhores amigos me perguntou se eu estaria interessado em escrever um artigo para A edi\u00e7\u00e3o da primavera de 2012 do Exponent II<\/a>, que foi dedicado a hist\u00f3rias LGBT. Em outubro de 2011, enviei um primeiro rascunho do artigo na p\u00e1gina 16. Alguns dias depois do Natal, comprei e li a compila\u00e7\u00e3o de ensaios de Brent Kirby, M\u00f3rmons gays ?: Experi\u00eancias santos dos \u00faltimos dias sobre a atra\u00e7\u00e3o pelo mesmo sexo<\/a>. Quando eu li Hist\u00f3ria de Blake Hoopes<\/a>, ocorreu-me que nunca tinha realmente perguntado a Deus o que Ele pensava sobre eu ser gay. Sempre implorei a Ele que me ajudasse a mudar ou que me retirasse completamente.<\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o me ajoelhei na cama, fechei os olhos e perguntei. Instantaneamente, tive uma das experi\u00eancias espirituais mais intensas, sen\u00e3o as mais intensas que j\u00e1 tive. Fiquei cheio de paz, aceita\u00e7\u00e3o e, acima de tudo, esperan\u00e7a. Senti-me inspirado por Deus n\u00e3o apenas estar bem comigo sendo gay, mas animado por eu ir encontrar algu\u00e9m para amar e fazer o meu melhor para passar o resto da minha vida encontrando maneiras diferentes de faz\u00ea-la rir. Mas, al\u00e9m disso, tive uma sensa\u00e7\u00e3o quase f\u00edsica de um interruptor sendo acionado na parte de tr\u00e1s da minha cabe\u00e7a e, de repente, aquele desejo e saudade que eu tinha de estar morto, que carregava desde que era uma crian\u00e7a, estava desligado.<\/p>\n

Essa experi\u00eancia aconteceu em um momento da minha vida em que eu desconfiava muito das experi\u00eancias espirituais em geral. Mas o acoplamento e a justaposi\u00e7\u00e3o com essa op\u00e7\u00e3o foram incrivelmente validadores. Suspeitei que os sentimentos iriam desaparecer e que depois de alguns dias tudo voltaria a ser como me sentia desde a inf\u00e2ncia, mas j\u00e1 faz pouco mais de um ano e meio e nunca mais fui a mesma .<\/p>\n

Para mim, o que era fascinante em toda a situa\u00e7\u00e3o era que eu estava pedindo, implorando e implorando para que o bot\u00e3o errado fosse acionado. A cura e a alegria que entrela\u00e7aram minha vida desde aquela experi\u00eancia me deram esperan\u00e7a, dire\u00e7\u00e3o e for\u00e7a profundas.<\/p>\n

Embora eu possa considerar poss\u00edveis conclus\u00f5es dos anos em que fui mantido no escuro como uma tortura desnecess\u00e1ria de um Deus t\u00edmido, pessoalmente n\u00e3o me sinto assim. Mesmo com tanta dor, Deus renovou minhas for\u00e7as centenas de vezes. Mesmo que pare\u00e7a que a cada 5 minutos eu perco a f\u00e9 em mim mesma, Deus levanta meus olhos, me ajuda a rir e me envia conforto. Mesmo que tenha havido tantas vezes em que senti que perdi minha integridade (minhas opini\u00f5es sobre a igreja, minha situa\u00e7\u00e3o, de tudo o mais estiveram em tanto fluxo que em um minuto eu me sinto de um jeito e no pr\u00f3ximo meu opini\u00e3o \u00e9 exatamente o oposto), e mesmo que eu me sinta t\u00e3o perdida em um mar de barulho, Deus caminha pacientemente ao meu lado, apenas esperando que eu vire minha cabe\u00e7a e pe\u00e7a sua opini\u00e3o. Neste ponto da minha jornada, n\u00e3o sei exatamente por que, mas sinto que parte da raz\u00e3o pela qual foi importante para mim trilhar esse caminho foi para saber que: A) N\u00e3o pude mudar porque B) Eu n\u00e3o estava quebrado e C) Deus nos ama, caminha conosco, conspira para a nossa felicidade.<\/p>\n

Kathy Carlston \u00e9 uma m\u00f3rmon ativa e ativa, que busca uma carreira em efeitos visuais para filmes. Originalmente do Colorado, ela se formou em Anima\u00e7\u00e3o e Efeitos Visuais na Ex'pression College for Digital Arts e em Casamento, Fam\u00edlia e Desenvolvimento Humano na BYU.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ela ouviu com paci\u00eancia e aten\u00e7\u00e3o, fazendo perguntas para extrair o po\u00e7o de frustra\u00e7\u00f5es em que eu estava me afogando. Eu esperava um conselho sobre o que fazer, mas em vez disso, ela me disse que esta era minha jornada, meu caminho, e embora ela ficaria feliz em caminhar comigo, eu era o \u00fanico atr\u00e1s do volante.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":14609,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_piecal_is_recurring":false,"_piecal_recurring_interval":1,"_piecal_recurring_frequency":"","_piecal_recurring_exact_position":false,"_piecal_recurring_end":"","_piecal_color":"","_piecal_text_color":"","_piecal_global_color_master":false,"_piecal_rsets":"[]","_piecal_is_event":false,"_piecal_start_date":"","_piecal_end_date":"","_piecal_is_allday":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1849],"tags":[],"newsletters":[],"class_list":["post-5994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFlipping The Switch: Letting God Light The Path<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/affirmation.org\/pt\/sacudir-interruptor-deixar-deus-luz-caminho\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"pt_BR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Flipping The Switch: Letting God Light The Path\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She listened patiently and carefully, asking questions to draw out the well of frustrations that I was drowning in. 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