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Affirmation – LGBT Mormons, Families & Friends Shares Its Perspective on Upcoming TLC Show, “My Husband’s Not Gay.”


January 9, 2015

Affirmation is an international organization made up of thousands of LGBT Mormons, Families & Friends who work to affirm the value of every human being, regardless of how they identify in their sexual orientation, gender identity, or faith.  We strive to promote authenticity, openness, diversity and integrity among our members, and we do this by practicing Christ-like love, respect, optimism, humility, patience, and non-judgment.  We also affirm the validity of all loving relationships and the individual right of LGBT people to pursue happiness in family life, in however they may choose to configure their families.

Affirmation avoids taking positions on LDS church doctrine and on how people choose to act on their sexuality or not.  Our focus is to provide a sounding board for those who are hurting and to be a place of healing, honoring each individual’s path and helping them process through it and find a way to move forward with a healthy and productive life.

The upcoming TLC show, “My Husband’s Not Gay” touches a nerve for people with lives intertwined in the Mormon faith and LGBT issues.  Dialogue on the Internet and other media has stirred up deep emotions by people from all sides of cultural, political and religious spectrums.

Because life is complex and we cannot know the details of people’s unique circumstances and life decisions, we do not take a position on mixed-orientation marriages.   We do though strongly recommend that people be aware of existing research which presents the often very difficult realities for those who enter into these relationships and official LDS Church statements warning that these marriages should not be entered into under false pretense. We strongly recommend that when this path is chosen that it be done with great caution and with 100% transparency and integrity.

As for the TLC show, we respect the right of all people to tell their own story, whether or not it resonates with our personal beliefs or practice.  However, it is vital to point out that these stories belong to the couples who own them in their personal lives: they should never be used to manipulate others into false hope or dictated life choices.  We deplore the exploitation of anyone for the sake of entertainment or ridicule.  ALL people are deserving of our kindness and respect.  In cultivating this attitude, we are more likely to learn from one another.


NOTE:  Affirmation sponsors a number of affinity groups (e.g. Transgender, Bi-sexual, Active LDS, Faith Transition, Same-Sex Couples, etc.) that help people in similar situations find community and process through their issues and challenges.  One of these groups is the “Mormon Mixed Orientation Families in Affirmation” which exists as a collection of mostly Mormon people who are impacted by Mixed Orientation Marriage (MOM) in their family life.  This group is sponsored by Affirmation for the support of LGBT families to process their difficult realities, share personal stories, develop friendships, and ultimately gain understanding and healing in their families.  This affinity group consists of married spouses (gay and straight), single ex-spouses (gay and straight), remarried spouses, and even some adult children from MOM families.  Mormon faith practice in the group ranges from active LDS to cultural LDS, to no longer affiliated with the LDS Church.  The goal of our affinity groups is to provide a safe place and to encourage open and honest dialogue between individuals, which leads to greater understanding and more productive and healthy family lives.

For more information please contact Randall Thacker at [email protected] or John Gustav-Wrathall at [email protected]


Link to information on existing research:

Things You Should Know When Watching TLC’s “My Husband’s Not Gay,” Joining North Star, or Considering a Mixed-Orientation Marriage


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