Affirmation President to The Daily Beast: We can move forward personally regardless of what the church says

April 23, 2019

Nathan Kitchen speaking at the 2018 Affirmation International Conference

by Joel McDonald

In an interview with The Daily Beast, Affirmation President Nathan Kitchen discussed the impact of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints reversing their 2015 policy that defined church members in same-sex marriages as apostates and prohibiting the children of same-sex couples from being blessed, baptized, ordained, or serving missions. This policy was leaked publicly in November 2015 and reversed on April 4, 2019.

In the interview, Kitchen acknowledged the impact that LGBTQ church members who remain active in the Church can have, but also the understanding of why many leave the Church behind, saying that LGBTQ Mormons who say in the faith, “find themselves being bridge builders and having some really good constructive interactions with church members. But those that go, I salute [them], I understand, I know why that needs to be—there’s no reason to hang around and wait for happiness at some distant point in the future.”

Speaking about Affirmation’s ongoing dialogue with the Church, Kitchen stressed “lobbying the church does not work. They’re going to do what they’re going to do. But what we’re doing is just saying, ‘See me, hear my story.’” In response to the policy reversal, he invited members of the Affirmation community to submit stories and reactions, telling the community that he wanted “to be sure Affirmation does not hide you or your stories as we move forward.” Over forty stories were submitted and published on the Affirmation website, and they can be read here.

“We can never go back as a community,” Kitchen said, “because this event changed us. We move forward, I think, stronger and more resilient and more aware of ourselves because of what we lived under in the past three and a half years in the church. I think that we need to be proud of what we’ve endured and what we’ve been through,” Kitchen continued, “and realize that we can move forward personally regardless of what the church says.”

Posted In:

Receive the Affirmation e-newsletter with content like this in your inbox!


  1. David Bsker on April 23, 2019 at 1:10 PM

    Excellent comments.

    I am impressed with Brother Kitchen.
    I see great growth for Affirmation.

  2. John on April 24, 2019 at 11:48 AM

    I’m glad you guys finally realized this: “lobbying the church does not work. They’re going to do what they’re going to do.”

    I was also glad to read this: “to be sure Affirmation does not hide you or your stories as we move forward.”

    I was once a member of Affirmation in the 80’s. The organization helped me a great deal with dealing with my excommunication and coming to terms with my sexuality. I honestly couldn’t have made it without you. I also made some connections in Affirmation that eventually led to meeting my future partner and husband of 34 years. So, I am doubly indebted.

    But, I had issues at that time with the fact that everything Affirmation did at that time was anonymous, Members were hiding from the Church, and at the same time the organization was sucking up to the Church. I worked on the newsletter for the LA chapter for a while. We used to send out the newsletter in a plain brown wrapper with no return address. Affirmation members were afraid to use their real names with each other for fear of losing their membership.

    These were a couple of the many reasons why I eventually left Affirmation and moved on. I am glad those days of fear and hiding for you are finally over.

    I hope nobody in Affirmation feels that God loves them any less for having left the Church. The fact is the Lord loves us all more than we have any idea; the much-touted “plan” is far bigger than small minds can comprehend; and there is a place for each of us in the family of God.

Leave a Comment