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I do not feel peace as the leaders go back and forth playing with my life and the lives of my LGBTQ friends as they decide whether or not we are worth their consideration.
Many of us who grew up in the LDS Church (or any church) remember being taught the simple but important lessons in Primary: Be honest, do the right thing, play nice, and say you’re sorry. We even teach our kids from the womb how to repent.
LGBTQ people are not lab rats. We are not object lessons. We are not Abrahamic Tests. We are real people with real lives and real hearts and real families and real faith. When the most powerful people in an organization use its most vulnerable to “gain experience,” the organization is fundamentally broken.
I’m drawn to Christ’s pronouncement (Matt 10:29) that not even a sparrow would fall to the ground without our Father knowing it. I grieved for all the fallen among LGBTQ Mormons, with no acknowledgement or expressed concern by the church.
This aged wisdom of mine smells horrible sometimes, like a really strong, aged blue cheese. I feel horrible and the policies or doctrine or whatever they are, are horrible. I remember all the other doctrinal or policy changes, or whatever you call them, because I was there.
Some will despise and ridicule us for our work to stop the abuse and then in the same breath praise the abuser who finally listened to us. Activism isn’t about popularity.
With tears in our eyes and goosebumps on our arms, we both felt a huge weight had been lifted. It is a day that I’ll never forget.
For those who have felt targeted with disapproval while sitting in church meetings and classes because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, it is easy to forget that our Heavenly Father has not abandoned us.
