When Do I Get to Feel Peace Here?
April 10, 2019
by Erik Lovell
Today, I’m supposed to be happy. I’m supposed to be thankful. I’m supposed to be impressed by the progress Mormonism made today.
But instead, I’m heavy. Instead, I’m confused. Instead, I’m angry. Instead, I’m in tears.
Four years ago, I watched as a group of Mormons came out against the policy that labeled same-sex married couples as apostates and barred their minor children from baptism. I watched as another group of Mormons attacked the former for rebelling against the prophets, for forgetting what inspired priesthood leadership means, and for not having faith that the Lord inspires Mormon leaders.
Today, I watch those same people who harassed myself, my friends, and other people who voiced concern and outrage over the previous policy shout for joy today that the Church is showing up for LGBTQ persons. I’ve watched this group reiterate with the same certainty as four years ago that the leaders are inspired and how grateful we should be.
Why do they get to be the ones who are joyful?
When do I get to feel peace here?
I do not feel peace as the leaders go back and forth playing with my life and the lives of my LGBTQ friends as they decide whether or not we are worth their consideration.
President Oaks stated in the announcement today, “The very positive policies announced this morning should help affected families. In addition, our members’ efforts to show more understanding, compassion, and love should increase respect and understanding among all people of goodwill. We want to reduce the hate and contention so common today.”
However, just recently Oaks visited our stake where he was asked what the brethren’s greatest concerns were about their members today. He responded that his number one concern was the influence of those people with same-gender attraction and “transgender desires.” His concern wasn’t how to meet the needs of these people — he was worried about their influence.
So, no. I’m not thrilled by the latest attempt to throw me a bone. When the bone was taken by them in the first place. I will continue my skepticism until I see long-lasting, intentional, and pure-hearted attempts to reach out, understanding, and /be with/ me and my LGBTQ friends.