Personal Revelation through Prayer at the Sacred Grove
Our last road trip together was blessed. It was a time well spent with my mother (now deceased) visiting all the LDS Church sites near Palmyra, New York.
On a beautiful early fall day, my mom and I visited the Sacred Grove to gain inspiration and answers to our prayers. While walking through the site where Joseph Smith had a vision, I was hoping to have the spirit of God with me. When the grounds were quiet, and no visitors were present, we both kneeled down in the center of the Sacred Grove to humbly pray. My mother asked me to say the prayer out loud, and we held hands together.
I did ask in my prayer if God accepted me as a gay man and if it is a sin to be gay, as I was excommunicated from the LDS Church. An overwhelming presence of the Spirit of God fell upon me. No, I didn’t have a vision or anything like that, but I did feel extremely at peace and felt a warm sweet love present.
Previously, numerous times the church in the past tried to “fix” me or heal me from being gay through therapy and almost by taking me away from my family. Not to mention, I was given the book “Miracles of Forgiveness” to read. I couldn’t help myself feeling that, somehow, I would be better off dead than alive. So, in a deep depression, I tried to end my life by suicide.
I was heartbroken by the LDS Church turning me away instead of accepting me. I experienced a sense of great grief throughout my soul. How could my brothers and sisters turn away from me in my darkest hour?
By the time I finished the prayer, my mother and I had tears in our eyes. We slowly walked out of the Sacred Grove, and we didn’t talk. We both felt the same love in our hearts. When walking out of the Sacred Grove, we both noticed this leaf lying on the ground. It was gigantic and beautiful. So, I picked it up and took it home with me in remembrance of that day. I still have the leaf today hanging on my wall as a reminder of God’s Love and, nonetheless, my mom’s love and her acceptance of me as her gay son.
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