Reactions to Letter Read in US & Canadian Wards After the Supreme Court Ruling

How the First Presidency Letter in LDS Church congregations was presented these past two Sundays depended on the ward. Below are a variety of examples of how it played it in different parts of North America.

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The Baltimore Maryland Stake Presidency prepared the following letter that was read to all members of the Stake July 5, 2015 during Sacrament Meeting

BALTIMORE MARYLAND STAKE

July 5, 2015

Dear Brothers and Sisters of the Baltimore Maryland Stake:

In the midst of various tensions in our political and social climate, we wish to take a moment to focus on an absolutely essential aspect of our faith as Latter-day Saints: the need to love one another as Jesus has loved us.

This fundamental truth was taught by our Savior during his mortal ministry, where he declared that his love is the ultimate expression of our discipleship to Him:

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
(John 13:34-35).

We declare our love for all of God’s children. This love is extended to all, no matter what their race or national origin or sexual orientation or personal struggles. The commandment to love is clear and is unconditional.

A modern prophet of God has given us this inspired counsel on the principle of Christ-like love:

“…As always, Christ is our exemplar. In His teachings as in His life, He showed us the way….

Jesus said it is easy to love those who love us; even the wicked can do that. But Jesus Christ taught a higher law. His words echo through the centuries and are meant for us today. They are meant for all who desire to be His disciples. They are meant for you and me: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

When our hearts are filled with the love of God, we become “kind on to another, tenderhearted, forgiving [each other], even as God for Christ’s sake [forgave us].”

The pure love of Christ [allows] us to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees us: as flawed and imperfect mortals who have potential and worth far beyond our capacity to imagine. Because God loves us so much, we too must love and forgive each other.”

“The Merciful Obtain Mercy”, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2012 General Conference.

We testify that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life, and testify further that this is His Church, established on earth in these latter-days to be a refuge from life’s storms and a beacon of hope and pure love to a troubled world. We exhort all members of the Baltimore Stake to be relentless in their pursuit of Christ-like love for all whom the Lord places in their path.

May the Lord bless each of us in our path to discipleship.

Sincerely yours,

The Baltimore Maryland Stake Presidency

Sara Jade Woodhouse wrote the following blog on her site tparency.wordpress.com

“…we interrupt our program to bring you this important message…” – ???

Sometimes moments arise that force to you put everything else on hold while you share them with the world. Today held just such a moment. I have been attempting to put all the pieces into place in order to re-launch this blog…a re-launch that would hopefully lead to wider distribution and a more polished presentation. But…something happened today that forces me to begin some of those changes pre-maturely.

Today I attended my church meetings like any other Sunday (any other Sunday since starting at my new ward that is) and I knew…in the back of my mind…that today could be a VERY hard day. The Supreme Court decision on the 26th of June to legalize gay marriage nationwide, while in so many ways unbelievably awesome in all of its far reaching implications, was bound to solicit a response from my Church. I knew the letter was coming. I knew it was to be read to all of the members of the Church. And…I knew that there would be about an hour long discussion following that. I attended my Sabbath day meetings anyway. I did so…because I had hope…and because I wanted to feel the shared spirituality that I had become used to.

When the Bishop took the stand in Sunday School…I knew that this was it. What would happen in the next 20 minutes could spell either the beginning of something beautiful or the ending of the same. Before the Bishop even started to read the letter from the First Presidency…it was already clear that what he would read affected him profoundly. I sat there…head bowed…listening to the words that I had become quite familiar with over that past few months. It was a message that the Church had driven home in the April Conference of this year…in press releases to the world…and in public interviews both leading up to and following the Supreme Court decision. The Church would continue to affirm it’s position that same sex marriage was against the will of God and not condoned by the LDS Faith in any way.

I sat there…holding my breath…and waiting for what I felt might very well cause my heart to break. I had finally…after more than 10 years of searching…found a home for my soul. I yearned to share my spirituality with this new found family that I had only spent a few weeks with. I had experienced acceptance before (in most of the wards I had attended in fact) but nothing like the ward I was now enjoying the privilege of being a part of. I didn’t want to lose that. Not now. Not so soon after finding my home.

The Bishop finished reading the letter. Placing it to the side…he wept. Humbly he began to bear his testimony. He spoke of his lack of understanding. He didn’t understand why things happened the way they did. He didn’t know what God eventually had planned for all of us. But what he did know…was that God asked us to love each other. Unconditionally. He believed that the Church is filled with imperfect people. That God still has yet to reveal many things. He bore his testimony of his children…two of which are gay. He said he looked forward to the day when his family could be together at Church. When his gay children could feel welcome to bring their partners with them and feel the love surround them. He spoke of how unfair it is to expect someone who is attracted to someone of the same sex to spend their lives alone. After his sweet testimony he opened up to everyone else to discuss.

Again…I waited to be let down by those around me. What happened next…still has me in tears even now. Virtually every person in that room affirmed their love of everyone…no matter who they are…or who they love. I sat on the back row and wept. I was truly home.

This is my truth.

Sara Jade Woodhouse

The Salt Lake Tribune published the following article describing reactions to the letter: click here to link to the original article

Written by Peggy Fletcher Stack

Some Mormons left church in tears, distraught at the anti-LGBT sentiments tossed around by their fellow believers. Others emerged exuberant, surprised by the kindness shown toward their gay brothers and sisters.

Either way, at least they were talking — and in a religious setting — about an often uncomfortable, even taboo, topic: same-sex marriage.

Just days after the U.S. Supreme Court legalized the practice in all 50 states, the LDS Church sent its lay leaders in the United States and Canada an unusual request:

Read a letter from Mormonism’s top leaders to all members, reiterating the Utah-based faith’s steadfast support of “traditional” marriage and other stances on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights, so the instructions said, but do it in another meeting than the main sacrament (worship) service and possibly use provided materials to lead a discussion about homosexuality.

This, the governing LDS First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wrote, should happen on either July 5 or 12.

In other words, save for the edict that the entire statement be read, officials with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did not dictate how or when the materials should be discussed — an open-ended, individualized approach that is largely unprecedented in the LDS Church on such a major topic.

Mormon bishops (lay leaders of congregations known as “wards”) were free to choose the day of this action (last Sunday or this Sunday), which elements to highlight and what tone to set for the conversation.

This ensured the experience would vary dramatically from region to region, ward to ward, bishop to bishop.

And so it did last Sunday, according to reports from the Bay Area to Boston, Brooklyn, Baltimore and Boise, from Denver to Detroit, from Albuquerque to Atlanta.

Before the Sabbath ended, members were sharing their experiences on social media, both positive and negative.

“In EQ [elders quorum],” Joseph Stuart tweeted, “we were encouraged to prepare ourselves for the apocalypse after an unelected body trampled the Constitution.”

It was “a train wreck,” filled with distrust and fear and ‘us’ verses ‘them’ comments,” wrote a Lehi Latter-day Saint. “With the exception of one lovely woman, every comment and response was a reflection of perceived victimhood, how our religious freedoms are being attacked, and the persecution our church is under. There was almost nothing about Christlike love or compassion for those who are different than us. It was awful.”

Yet another Lehi member, a mother who works with the faith’s Young Women (teens ages 12-17) in a different ward noted that “the bishopric member reading it prefaced it by talking about his friend who is gay and how much he loves that friend. Then the YW had its regular lesson and the topic came up and they were basically counseled to be good to everyone.”

In Bloomington, Ill., according to an attendee, members asked questions such as “What if my friend invites me to their gay wedding?” or “What if someone who is gay wants to come to church?”

The bishop replied, “Are they your friend? Tell them we’d love to have them.”

—

‘Get used to it’ • Some LDS leaders chose to read the letter to their members immediately after the close of sacrament meeting. Some spoke only to adults. Some added their own words. Some chose to forgo discussion altogether, urging members to study the letter for themselves and only come to their leaders if they had questions.

“We had a special meeting during the third hour with all of the men and women age 12 and up. The bishop read it and asked for people’s thoughts and impressions. He then asked if there were any questions,” wrote Steve Densley of American Fork. “The tone was respectful. A number of people noted the importance of supporting the church in its position on the law of chastity, while at the same time being careful to extend love, fellowship and respect to those with differing viewpoints.”

The letter itself counseled members to “love and treat all people with kindness and civility — even when we disagree.”

“We affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same‐sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully,” it said. “Indeed, the church has advocated for rights of same‐sex couples in matters of hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment, and probate, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches.”

In some congregations, it was less a question of content than tone.

A man in central California wrote: “Because of the manner of simply reading [the letter] verbatim, it had the same effect as telling us the [heating and air-conditioning] systems were going out, so the building would not be available next week.”

Steve Rotterdam, who attends a Manhattan LDS ward, noted a vigorous discussion among the men in the ward’s high priests’ group, including a number of summer visitors.

“Pretty much everyone agreed that we are poorer as a ward family,” Rotterdam wrote, “when we exclude and/or marginalize members of our community for any reason.”

He then quipped: “Finally, no one was concerned about the possibility of same-sex couples wanting to have ceremonies or celebrations held on the grounds of the church, because, honestly, have you seen our gym?”

In Rochester, N.Y., the bishop was “quite upbeat and even friendly in his approach,” wrote Jerry Argetsinger, a gay Mormon who directed the Hill Cumorah Pageant for many years. “He said to the congregation, ‘Regardless of what you think about the SCOTUS decision, it is here to stay. So get used to it.’ “

—

Keeping them safe • For some Mormon bishops, it was a routine assignment; to others, it proved a challenging or unsettling task.

Several reached out to Mitch Mayne, a gay Mormon in San Francisco who has served as an LDS executive secretary and who remains fully involved in his LDS ward.

Mayne put together the following three-part strategy for these Mormon leaders:

• Direct members to the church’s own website,mormonsandgays.org, which emphasizes that being gay is not a choice and that being gay is not a sin, only acting on it is.

• Describe the dangers of suicide to gays who are rejected by their families and the importance of keeping these young Mormons safe.

• Remind them that the church allows for divergent viewpoints on marriage equality.

“A lot of what we do when we stumble over ourselves turns out to be the Lord working through us as imperfect beings,” Mayne said in an interview. “This has burst our bubble of denial that being LGBT is something that happens to someone else somewhere else. When we start to become more informed, we realize there’s really no them or us, there’s only us.”

When Mayne began his activism after 2008, he focused mostly on LGBT members and their families. Now, he is getting calls from LDS bishops, high councilors and stake presidents.

“They reach out in confidence,” he said, “to try and understand this deeply.”

And that, Mayne added, “is a very, very good thing.”

Indeed, some bishops saw the proposed discussion around the church’s letter a great opportunity to tamp down the verbal polarities.

“I will read it during a combined third hour on Sunday [July 12], followed by a discussion led by my wife and me,” said Richard Ostler, an LDS singles ward bishop in Salt Lake City. “Primary focus will be teaching the [traditional marriage] doctrine of the church’s ‘Proclamation on the Family’ and the compassionate principles of ‘Love for All and Agency.’ Don’t want the meeting to turn into an ‘us’ versus ‘them’ and will work to reduce the fear comments such as ‘same-sex temple marriages are next.’ “

—

‘Love is enough’ • At least a couple of gay and transgender Mormons reported extraordinarily positive exchanges in their wards.

Nick Einbender, a gay member in Honolulu, said his bishop read the letter to all adults and youths, then opened it up to discussion.

The first comment came from Einbender’s partner, Spencer Mickelson, who explained that “he has done everything his church leaders have suggested throughout his life to overcome and deal with being gay short of brainwashing himself, and that over a period of time, through prayer and personal revelation following the promptings of the Spirit, has realized that being gay is part of his mission here on Earth.”

Mickelson went on to share his faith in the Mormon gospel, Einbender recounted in an email, and many in the room were quietly weeping and nodding in agreement.

Einbender then addressed the group.

“I bore my testimony of the motivating power of Christ’s teachings and pleaded with the members to love, embrace, welcome and support a gay son, daughter, family member or friend, even without having the answers to reconcile their own beliefs with the situation,” he wrote. “That love is enough. I reminded them that a seemingly insignificant act of kindness and love by them toward other members of the church may be an answer to a prayer, may be a miracle, may save a life.”

After the session, members surrounded the couple as if they were “in a wedding lineup,” Einbender said. “They ranged from 90-plus-year-olds to young teenagers all with smiles, with tears, and an outpouring of love that one would had to have been present to understand. It was truly humbling not only to receive such love, but also to be used as tools of understanding in God’s hands.”

—

‘Truly home’ • In Salt Lake City, transgender Mormon Sara Jade Woodhouse, had a similar experience. After the bishop read the letter, she said, “placing it to the side, he wept.”

The Mormon leader told the congregation “he didn’t understand why things happen the way they did … that God still has yet to reveal many things.”

The man then said two of his children are gay and he looked forward to the day “when his gay child could feel welcome to bring their partners to church with them and feel the love surround them.”

She sat in the back of the room, quietly crying, she wrote on her blog. “I was truly home.”

The LDS Church’s letter was unbending in its denunciation of same-sex marriage.

“Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to his plan for his children and for the well‐being of society,” it declared. ” … Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established. God expects us to uphold and keep his commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society.”

Yet, in a surprising way, the document may have opened up church conversations as never before.

“Maybe this is one way God works,” wrote Jody England Hansen, “to take some fearful, divisive retrenchment letter, and turn it into a time where more people than ever are needing to really look at each other as brothers and sisters.”

Change is never easy, Mayne added. “Life never hands us a challenge that doesn’t carry with it an amazing opportunity.”

When Mormon families in small towns such as Rexburg, Idaho, are talking at church about loving gays, he said, “that is a remarkable step forward.”

— Reporter Amy McDonald contributed to this report.

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1 Comments

momsaid on August 1, 2015 at 9:11 AM

I’m trying to wrap my head around some of the quotes in here, especially the one describing a ‘fearful, divisive retrenchment letter’. I read the entire thing before it was presented in church, to absorb as much as I could and pray about it, and prepare for the Bishop to hold the class. I found it to be loving, inviting and profoundly spiritual. Knowing that our Heavenly Father has changed nothing about His Plan of Salvation/Happiness is reassuring. Knowing that our challenges and temptations need not define us, but give us opportunities to grow as we overcome them, gives me hope of becoming more like HF and less like worldly ‘great and spacious building’-dwellers. I love my gay friends. They know I don’t approve of their chosen activities. They also know I’d do anything to help or encourage them in work or life. And yet, some accuse me of being hateful. Is it too much to ask, that the assumptions on both sides end now?

Our purpose here on Earth is to grow closer to God, become more like him, and strive to progress on through Eternity. Ask yourselves: Is what I’m doing or thinking drawing me closer to or away from God? Do I feel the Spirit when I listen to the Prophet speak? Do I humbly seek answers to my prayers? Are impressions in my mind in keeping with the Gospel? I think you know what to do, if any of your answers was ‘no’.

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